Updated: 14/09/2006

Overall Stars: Premise: Good
The premise is one which could be highly recieved by the masses, as I believe that it gives the reader a story which is fictional,

 however not that far fetched living in the 21st century and seeing the historical events were are unfolding every day.

I commend the writer for a great immagination, and good story telling.

Story: Good
The story is well written, and has good scenes and flows well. The actual "Creatures" are not fully developed in my opinion.

 I could not ascertain a visual in my mind.

This was one area that could use a tweaking. The writer does have good story telling ability and prose,

 and that stands to develop the script into a better product with a little rework.

The overall concept is very good and original.

Characterization: Good
The characters are well exibited and mostly well placed.

The problem I had was with BLAKE and some of the dialouge nearer the beginning of the third scene where his dialogue

seems to change into a moderate terrorist instead of the brutal one he was before. His character changes and that could throw the entire script.

Suffice it to say that in a novel such as this,

it would be critical to change the character which is portrayed as demonic,

into one that has switch sides and is now fighting for the oppositon as well as himself.

 It gives the story a twist which could be fatal.

Overall the figures are well established and fit properly into the story for the most part.

Dialogue: Good
The dialouge is crisp and professionally executed. There are some areas of confusion that could be clarified through better character development,

 however the entire script overall has good dialogue.

NOTE: Grammer and spelling need a once over, i.e. Page 19. "you ass" should be "your" or "you're ass".

There were a couple of areas that needed a fix. Nothing major.

Additional Comments:
Very acceptable and professional.

......UTOPIA-1 - - Destined for the top I reviewed this sp only days ago, and here is an updated version.....

Now we can concentrate on the vision and story. And both are startling and unique.

 Once again, the action sequences stand out. The script, which I compared in my last review to "Aliens",

is one breathtaking sequence after another.

The author has to face an obstacle that the prior mentioned sequel did not.

He has to introduce his world and its terrors. Blake is one mean mother, an insane but brilliant creation.

A fit nemesis for Utopia's off centre world.Next thing to work on is the dialogue which

can be strengthened though cutting, trimming and character honing.

Hey, sound like I'm giving the advice needed for my own script. I LIKE THIS ONE......

     
...it is a good sci-fi in it’s own right. It has a lot of potential if you can streamline the confusion. The intent of the story is clear. Survival! 

I really like the antagonist switch from Blake to the moon creatures.

 The story never takes a backward step or throws in red herrings. Which is great! 

No dead ends! And it leaves you wondering what could be worse than the moon creatures without over playing it. 

....Utopia is an intense action movie with some great action scenes. It is a movie I would enjoy seeing.

 I liked some of the technology in the script (heat ray scopes).

...Action, Action, Action Great....

....Story: A terrorist attack that triggers an alien invasion I like it good twist....

....Concept: I think the universe set up with radioactive fallout and massive pollution cause government 

officials to flee to the moon is original, creative, and believable.

....Concept/story: Great concept might need a little push to distance it's self from Aliens (Great Movie). 

The creatures behave similar in their attack methods and soldiers trapped in a space station. 

I fear these similarities will be too much for some studios.

....There is a lot of action, no doubt on that. But it is definitely a Sci-fi. .....Which I think would make a fantastic new series with your script as the 2 hour pilot..... 

.... nice concept....

....edge of your seat.... This was a good story that kept me on the edge of my seat.

The writer did a good job of keeping the large amount of characters in this script unique. T..... Good Story!.....

...aliens 5??.... Let me start off saying it was a well written page turner. Sean has the action screenplay formula it his tight grasp. In the future the wealthy leave Earths polluted air behind them to livein a bubble city on the moon. A group of terrorists want the capitalists to pay for raping the earths resources to got rich and take over the moon city of Utopia-1 and plan to kill the global pres.......

....Good read...  I enjoyed it can't really say much more than that.....

...Very Much Improved.... I have the pleasure of getting this revised version of Utopia. Since I reviewed the previous version, I can gladly say this sp is very much improved in the rewrite. Exciting, action packed opening.....

....Heading for the top.... Really enjoyed this, it would make a great movie. You have captured a sense of what I use to love about action/sc-fi movies. .....

....Entertaining.... Cliched? Yes. Stilted dialogue? Yes. But no matter how many flaws, this is ENTERTAINING, and ultimately saleable......if I were a studio head looking for a good B-picture, I'd buy this in a heartbeat......

....That's a heck of a video game you've got there... you'll be able to slip this script past the Marketing Department (the ones who make the decisions on films like this anyways), and get this made........

...On reading the script I could visualize films such as, Starship Troopers, Aliens and Star Trek, all mixed together. Many scenes are exhilarating as parts of the narrative are pushed along by the spouting of heavy weaponry and creatures blown away to extinction. This screenplay hovers in the area of, Terminator 2 and films like that, films were young male audiences love technology and weaponry prevail and where bad guys are blow off the movie screen by the use of violence There are some memorable scenes in the script one in particular; storeroom section 6, page 79, Davidson wedges a grenade in to the throat of one of the creatures and then the creature showers the walls with it own blood.......I found at some points in the script, the script felt like, Jurassic Park in space......

......Although a bit off the wall, the story held my attention and was entertaining. The action scenes with the aliens were gripping right to the end...

....Great concept, but start things faster.... a decent sci-fi horror film.  

....Aliens... There is an enthusiasm in the writing that is infectious. The SP wastes little time in thrusting you onto the conveyor belt of crazy terrorist Blake, his nuclear bomb and tough military guys Shaw and Davidson facing off across the gulf of space. The style is brush stroke and furious and the whole effort is reminiscent of a big Hollywood sci fi flick. This is good and bad. Good in the energy present and the familiarity of character and plot turn that these stories require - and certainly the introduction of Aliens at mid point is daring and potentially exciting.....

.....Nice... I'm quite Impressed, honestly I thought this would be an aliens want to be but it wasn't considering the first time an alien comes is in the middle of the script. ...... Overall, the script was well constructed, and the dialogue was good.....

.....The first page I was completely into the movie. The premise in and of itself was great. ......

....Obviously you're good at writing action.....

....Marine's Wet Dream....

.....Perfect movie for the Video Game Generation.....

 

.....The authors of this SP have a strong sense of action, and make no mistake, this is an action picture. In the first 12 pages we have an anti-terrorist briefing, a speech by the President, two anti-terrorist ops and an attack by aliens on the moon....

.....An interesting premise with terrorists and monsters on the moon needs something more.

.....The premise that planet earth has become such a dangerous place that government resides on the moon is an interesting one.....


.....in all enjoyable. Good Job.....

 ....This film's pitch is: It's "Die Hard" on the moon, with a touch of "Alien.".....

....If you like action this is a script for you....

....Utopia-1 is a classic Sci-fi story that revives the old nuclear threat concept.....

....Thanks, it was a fun read....

.....Utopia-1 was a fun script.....

UTOPIA 1 reminded me of Aliens, so it is in good company. However, Cameron's take on the whole "colony under attack" premise, does a swifter job of getting us to the main conflict and gives us a more sympathetic main character. We are educated through the eyes of Ripley who is just as much a fish out of water as we are. In UTOPIA 1 there is no clearly defined protagonist and the dialog consists of mainly cold, military chatter. Perhaps the conflict between good and evil should start sooner, helping to thin out the cast and provide a more manageable group for the audience to interact with. There also needs to be something to propel us into the carnage early on. .....There is a lot of cool, fast-paced action in this script......

.... Action-packed with a good structure. In fact the structure would've been excellent but for the 2nd turning point coming too early. The story started out clearly, with a nice turning point in the pg 25 area, a good pinch kicked in mid-stream when the aliens showed themselves, and the decision to destroy the moon was cool...... 

 ....This is the second time I've read this down-right scary vision of the future. While the author paints very vivid scenes and engrosses us in violence to the extreme the actual movement of the story points happen too fast and while I myself do enjoy violence in a screen play I feel there is still too much of it .... I will say that if one likes this sort of screen play they may very well fall in love with this.

.....Interesting concept... Really good story overall - just needs some rework..... 

.....Once the action starts in Utopia, it is non-stop..... 

.....Starting off with the interesting premise of a global government, overwhelming terrorism and a moon colony....

....In the spirit of "Aliens"..... "Utopia-1" has plenty of action, which would be sure to appeal to genre fans. The screenplay is in the vein of "Aliens" and "Starship Troopers," but successfully manages to distinguish itself from those other films.....

......This is an action-packed intergalactic adventure. The storyline is well developed and unfolds at a steady well-paced clip. I think the story, itself, is well executed and polished. .....You've got a possible big budget bonanza here! ......

 

......The initial premise is excellent. The idea of a colony on the moon that has fallen under attack is interesting.....

....Really enjoyed it...... This thing really trundled along and just got better...I liked it even though it was alot like 'Aliens' revisited but you can't have to many aliens! ..... Well done. Great job! ......

.... The story has potential......

....Good gunfights.....

 .....The script started with a lot of potential and really generated my interest from the start. It laid out a very unique look of the future.....

 

......ENGAGING ACTION/SCI-FI COMBINATION!....

......I'm a sucker for a good Sci-Fi story! It always amazes me how much courage it takes to pen a Sci-Fi story. You have managed to infuse 3-dimensionality into Sci-Fi stories in order for them to stand up against the compelling dramas. Great job with creating likable characters with real life faults and triumphs. I found Davidson to be a very interesting character, a character, who struggled with his professional obligations and wasn't just willing to go blindly into a slightly twisted set of circumstances without questioning the big picture. Now to assist you on a more structural level.....

 

.....when i first got this script i was a little worried, sc-fi scripts are never as good on paper as they are when they are transferred to the screen. it doesn't matter whether it's blade runner or Alien, they make difficult reads. so i approached this with an open mind. the action is good, it's tight and fast paced. meaning the reader gets sucked into the ride....

You clearly have a strong familiarity with the conventions of sci-fi action blockbuster movies and the script contains some good banter and action events.... a promising sci-fi shockbuster ......

.....Alien With a Vengeance.....

 

.....The writing was great and precise. I have to admit this is not my kind of screenplay and it was hard for me to follow. But I applaud the good writing.....

.....Overall, I think the story and concept was really good. The idea is original as far as movies go, but I've seen this idea in video games......

....Was There A Page Without Action On It?... Wow. This one really moves fast. Although I had some issues with it, the action was unrelenting and furious...it would give ALIENS a run for its money. At no time was I uninterested in what was going on. That said, I'd seriously consider revisiting ALL non-military dialogue. .....Also, you put in a most intriguing comment about the creatures being branded,.....This certainly is a timely theme, though

 

.....wow!! Well done! ....Very nice twist at the end and very cool on the military stuff. This we'll be a great one on the screen. I do love the characters Phillips, Davidson, and Shaw..... I think it's gold. Peace!....

.....I have just read and unzipped a space opera called Utopia one. If I were a director, I would make this film, not because it is my cup of tea, but because, unlike that atrocious lucas ite school of space cowboys, it is blessedly lacking in art of war, romantite, rather demeaning, and out of place, horse shit.... Good action, and who needs anything more. Spare me statues of Augustus with spaces flying about them.....

......fun read and page turner.... The screenwriter definitely has a talent and zeal for the action genre. Good elements: the imagery of the camera zooming from space to a tanker boat in a storm and the moon base; the twist of finding out an assault was actually a virtual reality exercise; exposition on Phillips family life and philosophy, which builds interest in him.....