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Rules of a Gunfight (a.k.a. Murphy's Laws of Combat)


  • Avoid them like the plague
  • Be aware of what is going on around you by staying in condition yellow.
  • Have a plan or two
    • (...if not, a "Last Will & Testament will do.)
    • Corollary: No plan survives contact with the enemy.
  • Bring at least one gun (never bring a knife)
  • Bring friends (as friendly witnesses or fire support)
  • Let close air support or artillery soften-up the target for you. ;-)
  • Make use of available cover
    • Remember the difference between concealment and cover.
    • Don't get shot (Use cover to your advantage).
  • Place your shots well
    • Pay attention to where your shots fall
    • "Speed's fine, but accuracy is final"
    • Don't miss (You can't miss fast enough to win).
  • If you're the bad guy, draw & shoot first
  • If you're the good guy, draw second and shoot first.
  • Bring the biggest gun you can handle
  • A chambered semi-auto pistol is more useful than an unchambered one.
  • Drawing on folks who already got the drop on you is not conducive to longevity.
  • Never turn your back on an armed bad guy, even if he's down.
  • A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
  • If you're bleeding to death,say something witty.
    • If you're actually dying, say something deep.
  • Never assume your opponent is out of ammo.
  • Bring lots of ammo.
  • In combat, you will be scared. You will have a tendency to shoot high. Be aware of this and aim low.
  • Don't quit just because you're hit;
    • GET EVEN!
    • Never quit, period.
    • There is no prize for second place
  • There's no such thing as "unfair advantage"
  • He who lives to run away will live to run another day (the best strategy is being somewhere else).
  • It is better to give than receive. (Just like Christmas)
  • Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
  • Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
  • If your opponents didn't have the courtesy to "Count Off!" before beginning, assume that there's one more somewhere.
  • When the cops pull up, think fast and move slow.
  • Say nothing afterwards but the Seven Magic Words: "I'd like to speak with my attorney."
  • Distribute press releases indicating your target belongs to a cult.
  • Drop the one with the shotgun first.
  • Afterward, alter evidence to favor your position and plan for perjury.
  • Use cutesy green-and-purple colored weapons and ammo so the press won't show any video of your non-evil-looking equipment. Fuzzy rifle-wrap works best.
  • Insist on *at least* $50K from tabloid TV producers.
  • If the enemy is in range, so are you...
  • Incoming fire has the right-of-way...
  • Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire...
  • Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder...
  • The easy way is always mined...
  • Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo...
  • The enemy always attacks on two occasions:
    • When you are ready for them.
    • When you are not ready for them.
  • Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at...
  • If you can't remember, then the claymore is pointed at you.
  • The enemy diversion you have been ignoring, will be the main attack...
  • A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down...
  • If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush...
  • NEVER draw fire, it irritates everyone around you...
  • Make it tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out...
  • Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself...
  • If you're short of everything, except the enemy, you're in a combat zone..
  • When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy...
  • When incountering friendly fire, it ain't...
  • There is always a way...