Christmas Fruit Cake Recipe!!
1 cup water
2 cups dried fruit
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup sugar
1 tsp. Salt
8 oz. Nuts
4 large eggs
1 tsp. Baking soda
Juice of 1 lemon
1 Bottle Whiskey
Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure its the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one tsp. Sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskey is still ok. Cry another tup.
Turn off the mixerer. Break two eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
Next sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?
Check the whiskey.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table spoon of sugar or something. Whatever you can find, grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out the window, check the whiskey again and go to bed!!!!!
Tried and tested by Conchúr A'Coitir, Curraithe.