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THIS
FUGITIVE IS WANTED FOR THE MURDER
OF THOUSANDS OF RATS, MICE, BATS, CATS, COCKROACHES, SNAKES, DRAGONS,
SOME DINOSAURS, THE LOCH NESS MONSTER, FOR BREAKING TOM'S LEG,
AND
MOST RECENTLY, BREAKING
SPOCK'S ANKLE !
DUSTY
BIN MADDEN
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Date of Photograph Unknown
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Aliases: Moss, Mossey,
Thomas, The Big Fella, Mosseous,
Shorty, The Legbreaker
Before you ask- I'm 6ft 10, right indicator man, Moscow, Sac
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DESCRIPTION
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Date of Birth:
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1971
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Hair:
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Brown
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Place of Birth:
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Dublin
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Eyes:
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Brown
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Height:
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6'10"
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Complexion:
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Olive
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Weight:
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Approximately 270 pounds
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Sex:
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Possibly
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Build:
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Thin, but massive gut
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Nationality:
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Irish
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Occupations:
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Rat catcher extraordinaire
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Remarks:
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Leader of a terrorist organization known as
"Rentokil".
He walks with a dog. Has big bandage on his head.
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Scars and Marks:
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None (that we know of), but needs a shave.
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CAUTION
DUSTY BIN MADDEN IS WANTED IN CONNECTION WITH THE SEPTEMBER 4,
2001, TACKLE ON TOM, IN "THE NORTH KILDARE CLUB". IN THE
REPUBLIC OF IRELAND. HE IS ALSO WANTED IN CONNECTION WITH THE SLAUGHTER
OF THOUSANDS OF UNARMED INNOCENT COCKROACHES AND RODENTS IN THE REPUBLIC
OF IRELAND. ALSO ATTEMPTED ASSASSINATION ON COUNCILLOR McGINLEYS
SON IN NAAS.
CONSIDERED LONG ARMED AND EXTREMELY DANGEROUS
IF YOU
HAVE ANY INFORMATION CONCERNING THIS PERSON, PLEASE CONTACT YOUR LOCAL
FBI OFFICE OR THE NEAREST U.S.
EMBASSY OR CONSULATE.
REWARD
The Maynooth Labour Party is offering a
reward of up to €5 million for information leading directly to the
apprehension or conviction of Dusty Bin Madden.
Mar 2004
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