Noel
"Americans are crazy. They have this
facination with throwing their shoes on stage.
I've been to a lot of shows in me life, some good and some bad.
But I was never moved to take off me shoes and throw it at the lead singer."
"Let me try to do the interview... So
tell me, what's life like being a transvestite?"
The MTV Music Awards preshow
"I love playing music. It's a gift that
was given to me by whoever dishes out these
talents to people...and as long as I believe I have something valid to put out as
a piece of music then I'll keep doing it. As soon as I feel it's not, I'll stop and do
something else like open a chippy or work in a butcher's shop."
"Me and Bonehead would just walk into a hotel room and empty it out the window"
"Sure I love Liam, but not as much as I love Pot Noodles."
"My main concern before going on stage
is; what frame of mind is Our Kid going to
be in? Will he get fucked off and walk off, which he is perfectly
capable of doing. He was annoyed when somebody threw a rock at him at a gig
(Slane Castle), the bloke responsible was lucky cos if we hadn't been having such a
good time we'd have jumped in and put him in intensive care.
We're not the psychopaths we're made out to be but you don't take shit do you?"
"Fucking Wankers! This one's for all
the people at the back."
At Slane Castle
"I went to Paul McCartney's daughter
Stella's party and who should open the door
but the man himself. He was deadcool. There were all these questions I wanted to
ask him but I settled on; do you watch Brookside?"
"I told Our Kid the band was shite, but
he definitely had something as a frontman.
Then I said you either let me write everything, control everything,
and make all the decisions, or forget it."
"I do all the work so it's only right
that I should get the most money.
Plus I am the most handsome."
"Next year I hope to get a stalker or
two because I don't belive you've arrived
until you get a stalker."
"Well, I don't consider myself to be
the next Michael Stipe. He's like
'Oh, God, man, I suffer for my art!' and I'm like
'Oh, fuck off! Go and suffer somewhere else, but don't do it on fucking MTV
when I got to watch you, ya cunt!'"
"I've got a bit of a headache, a bit of
a lump gathering over my eye but if I
have another 75 cigarettes and a couple of bottles of gin I'll be all right.
I might go to sleep tonight."
After an encounter with a fan.
Are there places in this country (America)
that you'd just assume not travel to?
"ehh...yes. Them places where, 'got any barbers where you come from boy?
You boy's like country music?' Out there in, you know, them weird little truck
stops you get to at like 6 in the morning, everyone's on the bus going, 'fuck,
I'm not going in there'. You know what I mean, he he, the chance of me going
in there, there's old geezers with snakeskin baseball caps on backwards,
chewing tobacc. 'Where in the hell you'd get that accent from?'
"Don't you hate it when they have
has-beens hand out the awards at
these things...(drifting off)
Well, I guess I should talk a little longer, so: I'm Rich, You're Not!"
His acceptance speech from the 1995
Brit Awards, after receiving
best album award from ex-INXS frontman Michael Hutchence.
Noel orders a beer, the rest opt for
lemonades and Cokes.
Above, the TV is on CNN News.
"Have you seen some of the stories they have on here?" Noel enquires.
"Check this one I saw this morning. There's this guy who's 75 and he's got cancer.
So his doctor tells him he's got about two years to live. So he thinks,
'Fuck it, I've always hated my wife, the stupid bag.' So he kills her.
'What the fuck, I've got nothing to lose.' Then he's put in jail but, the problem is,
he doesn't die. He's 99 now and guess what he's doing?"
Noel surveys our expectant faces.
"Suing the doctor," he cackles. "He's taking him to court," he
continues,
pissing himself. "And he's saying, ' If it wasn't for what you told me I would never
have killed my wife and now you owe me ten million pounds.' I'm sitting there
thinking, 'I know I live in a mad country but it's not half as crazy as it is here.'"
In some hotel room in America (taken
from the book; Take me there)
"As long as you're not eighteen stone
and an ugly bastard, you get the job."
Alan's qualifications to be the new
drummer.
"Liam's leaving the band this
very minute. Liam's ALWAYS leaving the band.
It's raining today so he's leaving the band 'cos it's raining.
"Why is it raining? Fuck! That's it! I've had enough of this, I'm going!"
I'm sitting there saying; "See you then, bye!"
He threatened to leave in Minneapolis because I wouldn't go to a pub with him!"
"It's a good thing we don't
live in America, where guns are accessible,
cause I would have blown his head off by now! The problem is I can't fire him
because my mom would kill me!"
About Liam
"Your love of certain bands is obvious in your music.
Do you consider yourself a fan who writes songs, or a songwriter
that just happens to be a fan?"
"A fan who writes songs, definitely. I'm a fan of music who's celebrating
that fact in my songwriting. I'm not saying;
'I'm the greatest songwriter in the world. Listen to me.'
Usually I'm saying;
'These are the greatest songwriters in the world.
And I'm gonna put them all in this song."
Interviewer: Do you still have physical
fights?
"No. The last time we had one was in March or May and we haven't done since
because..."
Interviewer: Who won?
"I did. He claims it's because he was drunk, but I claimed I had won because I
had a cricket bat in my hand."
"If I ever get to go to the moon, I'll
probably just stand on the moon and go
'Hmmm, yeah...fair enough...gotta go home now.'"
"Useless"
About Tony McCarroll
"Guigs is a hippie, a wanna be hippie...he smokes pot and reads books."
"Best act today. Tomorrow. The day
after that. And the day after that."
About winning the Q Magazine Award
for Best Act in the World Today
"If you're not in it to be bigger than the Beatles, it's just a hobby."
"It is hard to be modest at times like these so I won't even try...you are all shite!"
"Those plate glass windows are
just saying, 'throw a chair through me."
On chairs and windows
"If Oasis means that five
years after we've finished,
there's 1 000 new bands out there, then we've done our job"
"All I ever wanted to do was make a
record. Here's what you do:
you pick up your guitar, you rip a few people's tunes off, you swap them round
a bit, get your brother in the band, punch his head in every now and again, and
it sells. I'm a lucky bastard. I'm probably the single most lucky man in the world.
Apart from our Liam."
"We are the biggest band in Britain of
all time, ever.
The funny thing is, that fucking mouthing off three years ago about how we
were gonna be the biggest band in the world, we actually went and done it."
"The thing about us is we're honest. If
we're asked whether we take drugs,
we say yes. I was brought up by my mam not to be a liar."
Interviewer: "Oasis have taken heat for
their static stage demeanor.
The band's just not exhibitionistic, huh?"
"Definitely not. The songs speak for themselves. They don't need for us to go
run up or down the stage like Guns N' Roses. We know our strenghts and
weaknesses. We're not showmen, we're musicians."
"I've always been into guitars...we
want to put keyboards on, but keyboard
players don't look cool onstage, they just keep their heads down. There has
never been a cool keyboard player, apart from Elton John."
"I'm a happy-go-lucky character. I'm
not that miserable.
But I can never let anyone into my world."
"If you don't want to be the biggest band in the world, you may as well pack it in."
Interviewer: "You once said
in an interview that all the songs on Morning Glory
have a connection. What is the connection?"
"It's all part of a big spiritual riddle to which only I have the answer..."
"There has been much talk about the
quarreling between you and your brother
Liam. Is that hype as well?"
"Yeah, a little of it is true, but the rest is just NME and Melody Maker
blowing it
completely out of proportion. Say you worked for NME, and Liam comes over arguing
about something, and I tell him to get lost. The next day, the headline would be
"Liam and Noel From Oasis in Hotel Brawl."
"Nothing bothers me more than when
groups like Pearl Jam and Nirvana whine and
moan and complain about life and being famous. Let me tell you, being famous is great!
The feeling when someone asks you for an autograph, unbelieveable!
I just think Americans are tired of people telling them how crap their lives are.
I think when people listen to our music, we tell them how good their lives could be.
I guess I just can't understand the thoughts of Eddie Vedder or that whole bit...
I mean, lad, if you hate your job so much, why don't you fuckin' go work at a car wash
or McDonald's or something?"
MTV 1994
"It's like a game of baseball. The
press hold the ball, but you hold the bat.
So they toss you the ball now and again, and it's up to you to knock it for a home run
and run around the stadium."
"They say, "How's it goin'?"
and I say "Great."
And then they go "Tch, you know what, man? I'd really hate to be in your position,
man.
I mean, your life must be really hard." And I'm thinking, what? You sell two fuckin'
records in Gloucester, and you're telling me you'd hate to be in my position?
I've got a fuckin' Rolls-Royce and a fuckin' bastard mansion, and an airplane and
you'd hate to be me? Ha, not as much as I'd fuckin' hate to be you, you daft cunt.
Living in a fuckin' squat with your bird and a fuckin' dog!
Yeah, being a multi-millionaire is a big, bad pain in the ass, man --
you wouldn't want to wish that on anybody."
"I believe in marriage and believe in
the family and I'm going to buy a dog
next week and I'm sorry if that pisses people off but I'm a fucking old fart."
"What are we gonna do now?"
Interviewer: Spend some of your money perhaps?
"Yeah, but what on? I've got everything I want. I could only go and buy two of
everything now. That just gets boring."
What's it like having loads of money now?
"...er...it's alright"
"I dig U2 but I don't give a shit about
all that fancy fucking stage crap.
It's bollocks, man, it's like you don't believe in your music enough. There's nothing
better than five lads on stage, or four lads... or 25 lesbians, just doing the bit.
You get sidetracked and you end up not watching the show with that million-pound
fucking lemon in the air."
"My whole world came crashing down on
me then. If it hadn't have been for
Liam's support I don't know what I'd have done. This is my little brother, who I
look after, putting his arm around me, saying 'It'll be all right man.'
But I don't think people will ever forgive me for it."
About his comment on Blur and Aids
"If I were in the Beatles, I'd be a good George Harrison."
"Half the time I can't think of
anything valid to say, so I just say the most
outrageous thing I can."
"The people in this band are me best mates in the world!"
"I think the American public will
always find something magical about five english
boys with funny haircuts and funny accents playing rock'n'roll music.
As long as the musicīs good. And our music's good; we've got funny haircuts
and funny accents so it's all there ain't it?"
"I'm not John Lennon. I'm not trying to
say anything. I'm just trying to entertain
people. Sometimes you don't care about trying to make the lyrics make sense.
Fuck, it's only lyrics. I oughta make an album of instrumentals."
"When we get time off from the band,
everyone else goes on 'oliday, but I just start
writing. I went away once over the summer and our management wouldn't let me take
a guitar with me, they locked 'em all up. They're afraid of me burning myself out."