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The Last Day
7.00 am - 8.30 am
It was the day the world ended but no one on Gomorrah Grove
even noticed.
Apart of course from Adie Moran but she
had seen it coming, ever since Mona Blood had shown her the scrap
of newspaper with the nun's prediction on it. Mona had promptly
forgotten all about it in favour of the next sensational titbit:
the dead rock star, idol of a generation, who turned out to be alive
and well and living as a woman with five children in Shackahack,
Arkansas; the leading British politician whom photographs conclusively
proved to be an alien.
But Adie, eleven and three quarters,
near enough, on that day in dismal February, ignored such irrelevancies
and stared at the smudgy photograph of the Polish nun who had firmly
stated, not in those precise words, of course, that God had had
it up to here with mankind. Like any craftsman worth his fee, He
couldn't tolerate a flawed creation and had decided finally -
although all time since the beginning of the world was as a blink
in the eye of God - to scrap the lot and start over with a
fresh dollop of primal clay.
From the window of the box room she shared
with her older sister Martina, Adie looked out over the grey wet
street and wondered exactly when the thunderbolt would fall. Now
when nearly everyone on this day of rest was still sleeping? At
mass - the virtuous being beamed straight up to heaven? In
the greasy aftertaste of Sunday dinner? While everyone stared at
TV as early darkness crept over Paradise Hill? At the stroke of
midnight? Though midnight here would already be tomorrow in Moscow.
It was a puzzle.
As Adie peered through the window, a
figure lurched along the pavement. For some people it was still
yesterday.
Martina, fourteen and with unwashed off lipstick on pouting
lips and gritty mascara swimming in violet eyes (Martina was only
something else) rolled and curled in her cosy bed. In her dreams,
the duvet transformed itself into her lover, pushing between her
legs so soft, so soft, caressing those already embarrassingly huge
breasts that left the boys speechless as she passed, only smirking
among themselves and making smart remarks after she had gone. Two
years previously she had been as flat as her kid sister. How much
bigger were they going to grow?
But her lover had the face of none of
the gangly, blotchy, greasy-haired youths who hung around
at night trying to look intimidating and cool as they wheezed on
robbed cigarettes. He was a rock star - any one of the teen
icons whose images, torn out of fanzines, were stuck to the walls
around her bed. He was a movie star. He was the fella from the Crescent
who rode a motor bike and looked moody. He was River Phoenix.
Across the landing, four of Adie's brothers
fiddled with themselves on the two bunk beds that left little space
for anything else. One wall, including the doors of the fitted wardrobe,
was completely covered with pictures of Manchester United team players,
even though thirteen-year-old Hughie affected to be
different by supporting AC Milan and quiet introverted Joseph, aged
sixteen, disliked team sports and collected Real Crime magazines,
piled up in a cardboard box within easy reach of his hand -
he slept on the bottom bunk - Geoffrey Dahmer rubbing shoulders
with Fred West, Denis Nillson and the boys from Bootle.
It was the older lads, Bernard and Mark,
who were football mad, though Mark more than Bernard, who had recently
discovered that he was attractive to women and who had made it his
secret ambition to sleep with every girl in Gomorrah Grove aged
between sixteen and thirty, excepting the idiot Barbara Cheevers
and if possible including the nurse that lived at the top of the
road who must be nearer forty but who had the pertest, roundest
bum Bernard had ever seen under the stretched white cotton of her
uniform. Nevertheless, it was Bernard who was the brains of the
family with a place at university no less - and quite the
Renaissance man, combining a mathematical and scientific bent with
a wide taste in reading from Terry Pratchett to Dostoevsky. Mark,
in his last year at school and applying to all sorts of technical
colleges for all sorts of courses from catering to the leisure industry
to satisfy his mam, was less of an intellectual titan, dreaming
only of being discovered by some major league team and, even as
he turned over in bed, scoring yet another brilliant goal.
As Adie Moran's dad slept in a sonata of snores, her mother
stared open eyed at the flaking paint on the ceiling. In the early
light she spotted a cobweb and nearly wept. Really, life was too
hard. The moment you nearly got on top of things another spider
sneaked up and deposited another web. She had so many worries, never
mind making ends meet, just forcing them round to point in the general
direction of each other was hard enough. Everything had the tendency
to fly off and before you knew it, it was another visit to the Credit
Union. Thank God, so far she'd avoided the money lenders that bled
some of her neighbours white but she could see it coming. And she
hated refusing the kids, particularly Bernard, such a charmer, whose
grant seemed to go nowhere and who could always get around her with
a hug and a wink. The older girls were all right, thank God, with
husbands in employment, and Francis was making good in an Irish
bar in Germany and even sending home the few bob to her personally,
knowing that if his da got wind of it, that would be the last she'd
see of it. But it was Declan was the biggest worry of all. Wherever
did she go wrong with Declan?
Snoring Jack Moran slept a blameless,
dreamless sleep. Or was his brain still pickled? Saturday night
always made a big hole in the housekeeping but what was a man to
do, worn down by life. He deserved the bit of pleasure after so
long with his nose to the grindstone. He harrumphed towards the
borders of consciousness, then slumped back into oblivion again.
God will not be mocked, the nun had written, words transcribed
from the mouth of the Virgin Mary herself when she had suddenly
appeared hovering above the nun kneeling all the long night in motionless
prayer. It was understood that Mary herself, soft as whipped cream,
if it were up to her would give the erring children yet another
chance. Mothers, I ask you! God, on the other hand, no wishy-washy
sentimentalist but a Victorian dad determined not to spare the rod
since the children were spoiled already, had decided the time was
long overdue to smite. Not that the righteous need fear, of course.
The gates of heaven were already swinging open for them. Adie hoped
she was one of the righteous since the alternative was too horrible
to contemplate. On the other hand, the prospect of an eternity spent
praising God sounded deadly tedious, worse than school assembly
because that was only forty minutes long and occasionally the head
teacher even cracked a mild joke. Adie didn't think God had much
of a sense of humour although Mona Blood said sure you'd know He
must have if you've ever seen a naked man.
Adie hoped Mona was one of the righteous
to brighten up eternity a bit but she had to admit that her friend
could be a terrible bitch, even vicious and spiteful at times, like
when she stuck a notice saying SCREAMING FOR IT on poor simple Barbara
Cheevers' back. To be honest, Adie didn't give Mona more than an
outside chance of numbering herself among the blessed. And, looking
on the bright side, Mona, always bonking off mass, probably wouldn't
enjoy it anyway.
Still, perhaps when you're dead you don't
think of things in the same way. Maybe they'd all have a really
cool time singing hymns for ever and ever, like at some mega rock
concert, God and Jon Bon Jovi, and Halleluia the all time number
one hit.
Adie generally stayed away from thinking
too much about what eternity actually meant. The few times she had
- at night before sleeping - it was like a great hand
squeezed her guts. No beginning and no end. How could that be? Her
brother Bernard, the brainbox, had tried to explain the theory of
how time and space curved back on themselves and from then on Adie
had seen herself as in a giant transparent egg floating in nothingness.
It didn't really answer the questions, though.
Adie's mother, Jean, could take no more of the snoring.
No matter how hard she tried to push Jack on to his side, he remained
an immovable object steadfastly - and against all the laws of physics
as Bernard might have pointed out - resisting an irresistible force.
Anyway, it was nearly eight o'clock, the time she usually got up
on weekdays, even though there was really no need. Everyone could
in theory get their own breakfast, even Adie who always just shovelled
a bowl of Rice Krispies into herself. Jean fitted her feet into
soft mules and pulled on her dressing gown before creeping out on
to the landing. In a way, she thought, the house was at its nicest
at this time when everyone else was sleeping (how could she know
that Adie lay wide awake on her top bunk, her small face almost
pressed against the window pane, waiting for a pale horse to gallop
up the suburban street?).
Jean silently glided down to the kitchen
where the old dog lifted her head, too tired even to wag her tail.
She glanced out of the back window at the coal shed as she put the
kettle on for tea, then felt in the pocket for her cigarettes. There
were three left, enough not to panic yet. As she lit one and drew
the first billow into herself, her body curled with a rough cough
that she tried to suppress. The tea was strong and bitter, boiled
in the pot the way her mother had made it for her own brood of ten.
Jean had gone one better with Adie and then was persuaded by the
doctor, who feared for her loss of weight and her apparent ability
to go on breeding indefinitely, to have her insides out.
Jack had made a fuss of course, thinking
she'd be no sort of a woman for him after, then coming round when
the doctor had had a word, frightening him with the information
that another pregnancy could be life-threatening for Jean,
leaving him to bring up the kids alone. And then Adie had nearly
died of convulsions that first year, as if God were punishing them
for the sacrilege. But really, Jean thought, looking at the coal
shed again, heaven would have to be very good indeed to be worth
it all.
Next to the Morans' house, Neillie Kearney, newly returned
home from his night out, having noisily fumbled with his keys, dropping
them twice and cursing, having stumbled up the stairs grunting and
muttering, was now vomiting his social welfare into the lavatory
bowl. His wife, Marion, lay rigid with rage in her half of the bed.
Let him try to climb in beside her. Just let him try. Fecking waster.
Across the road, the four Rotweilers that the O'Connor
boys were trying to breed, woke and clamoured loudly for meat. Mickser
opened his eyes and shut them again instantly while Joey burrowed
his head deeper into the pillowy belly of his girlfriend, Linda.
The new baby in the house next door to the Kearneys, screaming
with hunger, suddenly went quiet when her mother, breasts spurting
milk in a primal response, let the baby attach her mouth to one
large nipple, while Jim, the naughty man, twisted round in bed and
sucked at the other, Caroline laughing and trying to push him off
- "There'll be none for Aisling if you scoff it all."
And Jim, relishing the sweetness of the warm blue milk, imagined,
cuckoo-like, how pleasant it would be to keep everything for himself,
Caroline, the milk, the warm nest of a bed. Then looked across at
the guzzling head of his wonderful daughter and conceded that after
all it was nice to share.
Little Miss McHugh peeked out through the window. Still
safely dark. She opened the back door, stepped out into the back
garden and stood under the rain while her puzzled cats, Peter, Cuddles
and Jeremy, rubbed up against her ankles and miaowed for their breakfast.
The clouds that churned across the sky gained a lighter tinge even
as she looked. She sighed and went indoors to pull down the blinds
that had to keep the light of day out. Because poor little Miss
McHugh couldn't tolerate daylight - "Like Dracula," Bernard
Moran had quipped, "maybe she's a secret vampire." "Not
at all," his mother had reproved him. "It's a serious
disease. Lupus."
"Sorry," Bernard had replied.
"I shouldn't have said Dracula..." He'd paused for effect.
"Obviously, she's a werewolf." Then had to explain to
Adie that lupus in Latin means wolf.
But poor little Miss McHugh - and
everyone on the street prefixed her name with the epithets -
had an even heavier burden in the shape of the large, cantankerously
senile, eighty-six year old father who lay in bed wringing
a crinolined lady by the neck - a small brass bell -
every time he wanted, or thought he wanted something. Quite often,
by the time Miss McHugh had struggled up the stairs, he had forgotten
or changed his mind.
Luckily he slept a lot. Dr Duffy, seeing
her predicament combined with a refusal to have her father "put
away" as she expressed it - and after all, if she did,
what would she have left to live for, how would she fill her suddenly
empty, imprisoned days? - compromised by giving her plenty
of tranquillisers for the old boy, to knock him out.
She switched on her radio, softly for
Pa had sharp ears yet, and listened to early Mass while she drank
some fennel tea and caressed the ginger and white fur of her cat
Peter.
Ted Cheevers, on his side of the bed, stared at his wife's
thin back, encased in a brushed nylon nightdress that tied tightly
round the neck and wrapped round her feet. He suspected she kept
her panties on all night, too, in case. In case the nightdress should
ride up to her waist during the dreams that tormented her, in case
he should roll against her in his need and feel her flesh against
his hand. He suspected but never had occasion to find out, for at
the first touch of their bodies she instinctively jerked away from
him.
He got up and sat on the edge of the
bed. Was it his imagination or did he hear a sigh of relief from
Helen even as she slept? He went and ran himself a bath, though
the only sweat he would wash off as ever was his own.
Of course she wasn't sleeping. She only
ever half slept, anyway, one part of her brain always ready to register
any flicker of movement, any sound. She allowed herself now the
pleasure of rolling on to his side of the bed, into the hollow made
by his form, of shedding dry tears into the pillow that smelt of
the coconut shampoo he used on his hair.
The snores that emitted from the marriage bed of the Bradys
came both from large Brendan and chubby Jacinta, both pinned down
on their backs by the chintzy percale sheets she tucked in so firmly
under the mattress. It was like a duet for two horns in atonal counterpoint.
The couple luxuriated in a bit of a lie-in on Sunday mornings, especially
in winter when the gas central heating was programmed to switch
on at 7.30 am. Waste not, want not, Jacinta always said, and they
wanted for very little.
Or actually to be precise, Jacinta wanted
for a great deal but still had more than most of her neighbours.
Make that more than all of her neighbours. But then, as she often
said, the neighbourhood left a lot to be desired.
Young Brendan, sleeping his apparently
innocent sleep, sandy-haired like his dad, with a sprinkling
of freckles over his snubby nose, looked like a dote, the shiny
apple of any mother's eye and especially Jacinta's. As for his dreams,
the less said about them the better - his mother would have
had a fit. Bred to be devious, young Brendan had already learnt
to dissemble in his sleep. Meanwhile, in the back bedroom, the girls
were lying in twin beds, as unlike twins as it was possible to be
and anyway they weren't, four years separating exemplary Michelle,
nice and round in all the right places, from her kid sister, Celine,
skinny and doomed. Celine's nails were bitten down and bleeding.
Now in her sleep, she rolled over and found her sister's outstretched
hand and feasted on those manicured vestiges of claws, while Michelle
dreamed that she was swimming in a sea as thick and brown as the
ox-tail soup her mother made out of a packet, that glistening
silver fishes nibbled at her as she tried to move her sluggish limbs.
Mona Blood listened through the thin partition to her parents
having a screw in the next room. God, her da must have been dreaming
of yer one Cher again. Mona, of course, had forgotten that it was
the day the world was supposed to end and was thinking with dread
of the two projects - one on fish and one on local history - she
was to hand in on the Monday, neither of which she had even started.
The Apocalypse she might welcome if it let her off the hook.
Her da roared - the climax was
approaching - and Mona heard her mam emit several appropriate
whimpers. A few moments later the lavatory flushed and then her
mam went down to make breakfast. It was always a fry on a Sunday
morning, crisp rashers, pink sausages like plump fingers, fried
eggs the edges slightly curled and crunchy from too hot fat, black
and white pudding, slices of white pan turned golden with oil. Soon
the smell wafted up to Mona, torn between the warm bed and the desire
to stuff grease into her face. Greed won and she thumped down the
stairs to where her mam, the flush already fading but the bite marks
on her neck standing out livid, shook the great iron pan and turned
the rashers.
Gomorrah Grove, a strip of street in a thirty-year-old
estate of grey houses, lined up with military precision in a turn
off Babylon Avenue that you'd miss if you didn't know it was there.
Cut off by a railway line with only a footbridge that was guarded
by gangs from the flats on the other side, who saw it as their patch,
no place for the Seasiders. For the sea hemmed the inhabitants in
on the other side, across a long wavering strip of dirty beach adorned
with sanitary towels and disposable nappies and lumps of shit and
dead fish washed in by the tides from the promontory that was Paradise
Hill where the wealthy lived staring across the sea to Sellafield.
Blue with cold in the stone-flagged chapel, Mrs Tolly knelt
whipping her bare, shrivelled shoulders with regular though weak
strokes. God, she hoped, would forgive an enfeebled old woman her
apparent lack of zeal. She would tighten the metal chains around
her torso to make up for it.
As morning advanced, a sliver of grey
light crept across the flagstones. When it touched the hem of her
gown, tied around her waist to leave her top half naked, she would
go down to breakfast. But not till then. Across her grey flesh crawled
long red fingers as she whipped herself with those rhythmic strokes
and muttered prayers of devotion to her mediatrice, Our Lady in
heaven.
It was the biggest house on Paradise
Hill. The oldest. All the land as far as the eye could see had belonged
to Mrs Tolly's father, also now in heaven it was devoutly to be
hoped. The sale of the land had not been precipitated by need, for
Mrs Tolly's father had been fabulously rich, his money mysteriously
made through an unspecified import-export business that had
connections with obscure and barbaric regions of the globe where
black people, Mrs Tolly had always understood, wore few if any clothes.
Mr Tolly, also now long deceased and twanging his harp no doubt
alongside Mrs Tolly's father, had been brought into the business
and had taken to it like the proverbial duck to water. No, there
had been no reason to sell the land except that it was too much
for one family and a worry as well as an embarrassment in the days
of ever greater democracy when such differences of wealth and class
were supposed to be declining. The big houses that dotted Paradise
Hill had been the concession of Mrs Tolly's father, each purchaser
vetted for his suitability as a neighbour. Mrs Tolly, for her part,
seeing herself as a philanthropist, and of course with the approbation
of the late Mr Tolly, had sanctioned the building on old grazing
land of the housing estate that contained Gomorrah Grove to bring
inner city families to the healthier environment of the seaside.
That was over thirty years previously and the snotty kids who had
not been content to stay in their place outside the gate, and who
had scaled the walls to wreak havoc in the ornamental gardens and
more particularly the orchard, now had thin and unhealthy children
of their own. The sea air, it seemed, had done nothing for them,
due, as Mrs Tolly informed the parish priest over and over, to bad
diet and unhygienic habits, exhorting him to harangue his congregation
on the subject.
The fact that her own two girls survived
only in a framed photograph of them aged eight and seven, huge bows
askew in ringletted hair, their faces pinched and wasted, was beside
the point. It was an inherited weakness - on Mr Tolly's side,
needless to say. Now not even their ghostly voices shrilled in the
garden for they had never been considered strong enough to play
outside except on the balmiest of days and under the strictest supervision.
Mrs Tolly gathered her robe over her
skinny dugs, wincing as the cloth touched her back. The repeated
strokes had, after all, cracked the dry skin into open wounds.
"Halleluia!" said Mrs Tolly.
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