HAPPY ENDINGS

Peg

Leonora

Milly

The play is set in the living-room of the family home where Peg now lives by herself

A sitting-room furnished rather fussily. It reflects the personality of the lady of the house, AUNT PEG, an unmarried woman in her late forties or fifties, and contains many sentimental items such as ornamental animals and children and pictures of  similar subjects. A large, motheaten teddy is sitting on an armchair. There  should be  at least a couch and two armchairs, a small table, a telephone, a mirror and a rack, stuffed with colourful magazines.

AUNT PEG herself is bustling about in an apron, tidying up and rearranging. She is singing a little song to herself.

Telephone rings.

PEG: [answers it] Hello... No, I'm afraid there's no one of that name here. You must have a wrong number...That's quite all right. [hangs up] They're silly billies, aren't they, Bartholomew. [continues to tidy]

PEG: [looks around] Well, what do you think. Will it do?...

The doorbell rings.

PEG: It'll have to, says you. [calls] Coming.... [Takes a last hasty look around, exits, sound of door opening, voice sounds off] Milly! How are you? You look wonderful... Come in...come in... [PEG enters followed by MILLY, a young woman in her early twenties. She is extremely smart, though everything looks almost too new. MILLY is a girl from the provinces attempting to look sophisticated and older than she is and almost succeding]

MILLY: How are you, Aunt Peg? [Hugs her then looks round] It's wonderful. You've changed nothing... It's like stepping back into my childhood.

PEG: Not that long ago, Milly.

MILLY: It seems like a lifetime. So much has happened over the last year.

PEG: You must tell me all about it.

MILLY: Oh, where can I start?

PEG: Well, give me your coat first. Sit down. I'll get some tea.

MILLY: Tea would be wonderful.

She takes off her coat and gives it to AUNT PEG, flopping down in an armchair

PEG: What a lovely coat! What a lovely outfit!

MILLY: Yes, well I have an image to maintain now, you know.

PEG: Of course you have, dear. Only it looks so... expensive.

MILLY: Careful. That coat's a Moschino.

PEG: Well I never!... [looks at it dubiously]

MILLY: So what's a Moschino, Aunt Peg?

PEG: Don't you know?

MILLY: I'm asking you.

PEG: Some class of sheep...? [Milly laughs] A goat perhaps....?

MILLY: It's the label, Aunt Peg. The name of the Italian designer. Frightfully exclusive.

PEG: Ah well. How would I know a thing like that? The label on all my clothes is St Bernard.

MILLY: A class of a dog?

PEG: What?

MILLY: Nothing. You mentioned tea, Aunt Peg.

PEG: Oh yes. And choccie bikkies?

MILLY: No thanks...not for me.

PEG: [disappointed] I remembered how much you like them. I bought them specially.

MILLY: Oh...in that case....twist my arm.

PEG: Good girl. Won't be a minute. You'll be all right?

MILLY: Of course. I'm grown up now. You can trust me with the ornaments.

PEG exits. MILLY sighs and stretches. She gets up and looks around. Examines various knick-knacks. Looks at magazines in a perfunctory way. Finds teddy and laughs. Picks up a hard cover book that is lying prominently on the table. Curls up again in the chair with teddy, which she uses as a cushion, wriggling to get comfortable, and reads, engrossed.

PEG reenters with tray.

MILLY: That was quick.

PEG: I had the kettle on and the tray ready. [Puts it on the table]

MILLY: Choccie bikkies and all. They look incredibly fattening.

PEG: Not really. Anyway, you have a lovely figure.

MILLY: And I want to keep it. Do you know they don't want to interview you if you're fat and ugly?.

PEG: Who don't?

MILLY: The television people.

PEG: That's dreadful. Surely looks have nothing to do with talent.

MILLY: Unfortunately, it's the way of the modern world, aunt Peg. The younger and prettier you are the more everyone want you.

PEG: One biscuit won't hurt.

MILLY: One isn't the problem. I'm afraid once I start I can't stop.

PEG: That's right. You've reminded me.....[laughs]

MILLY: What?

PEG: Remember one time we'd bought a packet of very fancy cookies for when the priest was coming to visit and when we went to get them they'd disappeared and .....[chuckles] oh dear....there you were sitting under the table with the empty packet and a few crumbs and chocolate all round your mouth.

MILLY: [coolly] I couldn't have been more than... four or five at the time.

PEG: Oh no, you were older than that, dear. Eight or even nine. And the funniest thing of all was that you swore blind you hadn't touched them...And you with all that chocolate round your mouth....[laughs merrily]

MILLY: Yes well if any interviewers come round, aunt Peg, I hope that's one story you won't be retailing to them.

PEG: [nervous] Are interviewers likely to come then?

MILLY: Who knows? People are always very interested in my background....as an orphan etc etc...

PEG: You weren't really an orphan.

MILLY: Well I am now. Anyway, aunt Peg, people aren't interested in the truth. They want a good story and you learn to doctor the facts a bit in this game. You know, tell them what they want to hear.

PEG: I'm not sure I could do that. You've made me all nervous.

MILLY: Don't worry. They won't bite. Just remember, no embarrassing stories or photographs of me on the pottie or anything. [holds up teddy] You can show them Bartholomew Bear. Pretend he was mine. They love that sort of thing.

PEG: That's where you got to, you naughty!

MILLY: I picked him up. He was sitting over there. [points]

PEG: Of course he was.That's his favourite chair... Don't look at me like that, Milly. He keeps me company. Gives me someone to talk to. Then no one can say I'm a silly old maid talking to myself.

MILLY: Who'd say such a thing! Anyway, he's been keeping me company too. While I'm reading this absolutely wonderful book. [Shows it. They laugh] So what did you think of it, Aunt Peg? be perfectly honest.

PEG: Being perfectly honest, I have to say...I haven't finished it yet.

MILLY: Oh Peg! How far have you got with it?

PEG: I've been very busy and...

MILLY: You haven't even started it, have you?

PEG: Well, not really.... Sorry, Milly, you know I'm not one for the books.

MILLY: But this is different surely.

PEG: I know. I feel terrible about it.  But you know I only ever read one of your aunt Leonora's books all through. And even though I thought it was very good, quite frankly, it was a bit of a struggle for me. [Picks up a biscuit and eats it] Sometimes I wonder if I'm not anorexic.

MILLY: Anorexic?

PEG: You know, one of those that gets their letters all mixed up.

MILLY: Dyslexic.

PEG: Is that it? Well all I can say is, the minute I open a book all the letters seem to dance in front of my eyes.

MILLY: Perhaps you just need glasses.

PEG: [dubiously] Maybe so.

MILLY: And I presume it's you that reads those trashy magazines. [waves at them]

PEG: I mostly just look at the pictures.

MILLY: Well, I still think you should make an effort with my book.

PEG: I will, I will... Leonora's read it.

MILLY: [distantly] Has she? What did she think of it?

PEG: I don't know.

MILLY: Aunt Peg, you're hopeless. She must have said something.

PEG: Yes well I think she said it was...interesting.

MILLY: Oh...

PEG: Very interesting. That was it. Anyway, you can ask her yourself. She'll be dropping in shortly... Have another biscuit.

MILLY: Thanks. [Takes one automatically but doesn't eat it] She's coming here, you mean? Soon?

PEG: Any minute. But Leonora's often up in the city, isn't she, staying with that friend of her. I suppose you see quite a lot of her there.

MILLY: Not really. The odd time.

PEG: I thought you've be moving in the same circles. Literary circles, like.

MILLY: There's circles and circles... But I do see her sometimes. Her and...her friend.

PEG: Ken. Isn't he a pet? And seemingly so devoted. I'm so happy for Leonora.

MILLY: Mm.

PEG: Don't for God's sake say anything to Lolly but I'm hoping this might be "it" at last.

MILLY: [laughs] "It" - oh aunt Peg. At her age!

PEG: She's younger than me! I may have led a quiet life, but that doesn't mean I'm totally past it, either.

MILLY: I didn't mean that, of course.

PEG:  Poor thing, she deserves a bit of happiness. After that dreadful business with Gerard.... ooh, did you know about all that?

MILLY: Mam told me some of it, ages ago.

PEG: Such a charmer, Gerard was. We all adored him, especially Lolly of course. And he seemed so smitten with her, too,  and then out of the blue running off with that young one... I can tell you this dear, now you're so grown up yourself, writing books and that.... We all thought Leonora might do something desperate, she was so upset.

MILLY: Commit suicide, you mean?

PEG: I don't know about that. Knowing Leonora she'd have been more likely to kill Gerard. Or the other woman.

MILLY: Goodness! That sounds terribly melodramatic.

PEG: It happens all the time. You know the saying: what is it...something about a woman scorned...?

MILLY: Aunt, can I have more tea.

PEG: Of course. [Pours it]

MILLY: [sugars it and drinks] I haven't had anything as treacly as this anywhere else in the world.

PEG: Is that good?

MILLY: It's great. Coming back here is like returning to the nursery. All cosy and ...safe.

PEG: There's nothing wrong is there, dear? You seem a bit nervy.

MILLY: What could be wrong? My first novel, as yet unread by you, is an artistic and commercial success. I'm the flavour of the month. My picture is in all the papers, my name on everyone's lips.

PEG: You don't have money troubles, do you dear? I could always lend you something if you're stuck.

MILLY: [laughs heartily] Darling Aunt Peg! What makes you think I'm hard up?

PEG: Well, all these expensive clothes, all these mosquitos. I know Leonora never made any money out of her books by themselves. That's why she's had to keep teaching.

Unseen by the two of them, Leonora enters. She stands listening to the conversation, a woman in her forties or fifties - though younger than Peg - of slightly eccentric though attractive appearance

MILLY: It isn't the same thing at all.... I'm about to sell the film rights on this novel. I've an advance of $200,000 for my next.

PEG: You're not serious!

MILLY: If you read the papers, Aunt Peg, you'd know all that.

PEG: My little Milly....

MILLY: Yes. Who'd have thought it. I can hardly believe it myself.

PEG: Well, I'm definitely going to read the book now.

LEONORA:  Nothing succeeds like excess.