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Important Notice regarding
email enquiries.
Due to an unacceptable level of unsolicited emails and spam
that this site receives,I have to introduce some serious mail
filtering procedures.
All enquiries and orders are most welcome and I respond personally
to all emails.
In order to make sure that I have received your email, you
need to do the following;
1. Use the word - CANVAS- as the first word in the subject
line of your email.
2. Request a read receipt for your email. I will send
one, and this is the only way you can be sure I have received
your email.
If you do not receive a reply, you may already be inadvertently
on the email blacklist. Please use another email address [i.e.
hotmail] to post mail to the site and include the address
you think may be blacklisted. I will then add it to the safemail
list.
All genuine enquiries and orders are
welcome, everyone else should note the following:
1. Yes, both my wife
and myself are happy with my current size and feel the extra
inches would better suit someone else.
2. No, I don't feel I
need Viagra, Viocodin, Cialis or Valium at this present time
but if I ever do, I will buy them from my local chemist
3. Thanks for the offer
of an online Degree but I already have my Leaving Cert and
having been educated in a Christian Brothers School, I have
no desire for further education.
4. No, I don't want to
lose weight and if I did I would get some exercise and not
take the drugs you are offering.
5. I am too busy to take
part in your survey so please offer the free Xbox, DVD Player,
laptop computer etc. to some other sucker.
6. Thank you but I don't
want to advertise my website to 28 Million people. I am busy
enough as it is.
7. If I want Top Quality
Software at ROCK BOTTOM PRICES! I will wait for the Christmas
sales in the Blanchardstown Centre.
8. It's nice to know
I qualify for a new mortgage with your company. However, if
you are willing to offer everyone money regardless of their
previous credit history, then I don't think you will be in
business for long.
9. To Mr. Kuma of the
Republic of Benin in West Africa. I am very sorry to hear
of the untimely death of your uncle before he was able to
get the US$21.4M (Twenty One million Four Hundred Thousand
United States Dollars), safely out of the country. I am also
thrilled to hear that you consider me as the only person you
can trust to offer you my bank details so that you can transfer
the money to my account.
Unfortunately, the dog ate my bank book and I forgot to write
my account numbers down so I'm going to have to pass on this
one.
10. To Mr. Taylor in
the U.K. - I have no doubt that your wife is indeed
a beautiful, gamey, up for it type of woman. However, as I
have never met her, I can't understand why you are asking
me to use my credit card to watch her play with your friend
Dick. I don't know him either.
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