I waited a long, long time for this game. It's not that i'm a
mad fan of the series or anything, i'd just been reading the previews and
looking at the screen shots and thinking, shit, that looks damn good.
So then the day arrived and the game came out and i brought it home and i fired
up the n64 and i looked at the fancy graphics and i thought wooooo, that looks
so gooood. As far as the previews were concerned they hit the nail on the
fucking head when it came to the graphics.
But then I made the fatal mistake.......I started playing the game.
Hack, slash, jump. Hack, slash, jump, Jump, hack, ZZzzzzzzz. BORING.
Oh? Didn't i just kill that skeleton a couple of seconds ago? Oh well. Gee, this jump is getting a little annoying. Erm, this jump is getting infuriating. Fuck this fucking jump!!!
If there's one thing that really gets on my tits , it's games were you die and get sent back to stuff you did twenty minutes ago just because you missed a god damn jump.
The furthest i got was to this bad-guy-type-plant-type thing that kept kicking my ass and sending me way back in the game. Then it was back to the hack, slash etc etc.
This guy likes his gel in the morning
Tut-tut......this fella hasn't been flossing
I guess you can see where i'm going here. This game is a pile of crap. I hated it.
No i hated it. It got all my hopes up by looking so pretty an' all then it turned around and stabbed me in the back with it's sheer crapness (me trying to be poetic there).
If you are a fan of there castlevania series with all its jumping and running (you weirdo) and you want a pretty looking version then by all means give this a try (snigger).
If you are a normal, well adjusted person like my good self (?) then give this game a wide berth.
I mean it. It's crap. Trust me. Trust ol' Trav he knows what he's talking about.
Good curved graphics here (ahem)....
Chic-adey dig-a-dee?
I am actually quite fond of my girlfriend. Why on earth would i want to put her through this game? It's evil i tell ya, evil.
In fact i'm digusted in you for even thinking i would do such a thing.
Shame on you.
No, shame.
Coffee Factor
There are many ways to enjoy a good coffee.
1. After a good meal
2. Whilst reading a good book.
3. Sipping a latte in a nice coffee shop and trying to look poetic.
4. Having a nice deep, dark black coffee in the morning with your favourite brand of cigarette.....Sorry,
I've quit since then.... :)
5. On a cold winters evening on front of a blazing fire.
Conversely you could ruin your whole coffee drinking experience by:
1. Trying to drink one whilst playing this piece of crap game.
