P: "Oh Terrance, you farted in court!" T: "Yes Phillip, I'm making a case for our defence"
T: "Would you like a monkey claw Phillip?" P: "Yes please." T: -FART- T: "That's called a monkey claw because it feels like my colon is being ripped apart by a thousand monkeys." P: "The monkey claw is smelly."
P: "Good people of the jury, my client Terrance is an innocent man." P: -FART- T: "Oh no, Phillip, now you farted during the closing argument!" P: "I have, haven't I Terrance."
P: "So, in summation, find Terrance innocent, or else he'll kill you." Jury: GASP! P: "Just kidding. The defence rests."
P: "Did you hear that Terrance? You're not guilty!" T: "Oh Phillip, you saved me from the gas chamber."
T: -FART- T: "Wow, Scott really hates us Phillip." P: "Yes, perhaps he's homophobic." T: "....But we're not gay, Phillip." P: "We're not?"
P: "The subway certainly is wonderful Terrance." T: "It sure is. Let's look for treasure." P: "Yes, let's look for treasure."
P: "Oh, hello Ugly Bob." UB: "Hello Terrance, hello phillip." T: "My God, you're looking hideously ugly today Ugly Bob." UB: "How come you guys say stuff like that?" T: "Because you're goddamn ugly Bob." UB: "I know, but........" P: "Ugly Bob, your face looks like somebody tried to put out a forest fire with a screwdriver." UB: "I can't help how I look. Besides, it's not what's on the outside that matters, it's what's on the inside." T: "No it isn't."
T: "Want to see what's on the inside of me?" T: -FART-
UB: "I'm Bob, but my friends call me Ugly Bob because I have the features of a deformed burns victim."
T: "Phillip, I'm convinced something very, very not good is happening to Canada." P: "Yes, I agree whole-fartedly."
-PHONE RINGS- P: "That fart sounded like a ringing phone Terrance." T: "It sure did Phillip."
{TERRANCE ANSWERS THE PHONE} T: "Hello." S: "Terrance this is Scott." T: "Oh hey, it's Scott" P: "Tell him he's a smelly bastard." T: "Phillip says hello, Scott.........." T: "......Oh, I'm sorry Scott, can you hold on a minute?" T: -FART-
P: "Well, while we're waiting, why don't we search for treasure?" T: "Oh, good idea. Let's search for treasure." S: "What are you idiots doing?" T: "We're looking for treasure." S: "Is that some kind of metaphor for a kind of search that can't be described?" P: "No we're searching for treasure."
P: "Look at those silly American heads." T: "They look like groundhogs."
S: "That was your part of the bargain!" Saddam: "I changed my mind. Pray that I won't change it any further." S: "This deal is getting worse all the time."
T: "Hey Scott, do you like apples?" S: "Of course." T: -FART- T: "How do you like that apple?"
P: "Uhh, oh Terrance, what colour is the wind?" T: "Hmmm, I don't know, why don't you check?" P: -FART-
T: "See this x-ray? That's your ass! See that line? That's your ass collapsing........" P: "........Does this mean I won't be able to fart anymore?" T: "No, this means you won't be able to live anymore!"
P: "Hey Terrance, I think I have to fart!" T: "Wait, before you do, pull my thumb." T: -FART-
P: "Hey Terrance, now that you've farted, I think I might fart too!" P: -FART- T: "Ohh, you farted!"
T: "Hey Phillip, would you like a flower?" P: "I sure would Terrance." T: "Alrighty then, here's a two-lip." T: -FART- P: {HITS TERRANCE}"Take that you stupid dick!" T: "You're an asshole Phillip."
T: "Hey Phillip, it looks like those beans are going to make me fart!"
T: "Hey Phillip!" P: "Yea Terrance?" T: "Is there a penny stuck up my butt?" P: "I don't know Terrance, let me check." T: "Oh no Phillip, it looks like you're about to fart." P: "You're exactly right Terrance!"
T: "You stained my pilgrim hat buttpipe!"
P: "I think you got some spatter on Chief Running Wolf!" T: "I spattered his face." P: "He's a smelly Indian now!"
T: "Being a pilgrim totally sucks ass!"
T: -FART- P: "That fart was absolutely ghoulish Terrance!"
