Julie's Call

This 30 minute play goes nicely with the other 30 minute play Paul's Talent.

The two groups who have produced these to date have put them on together.

'Julie' goes on first...


here's an extract from the script for yis.....


NARRATOR
Time passes, listen, time passes. I borrowed that from a guy called Dylan, but it's good isn't it? With a wave of my hand, two days pass.

Narrator exits. JULIE and SAZ enter together.

JULIE
I thought he'd call.

SAZ
It's only been two days.

JULIE
But he hasn't called.

SAZ
How do you know? You keep leaving the bloody phone at home. Why is that?

JULIE
Eh?

SAZ
Why do you keep leaving your phone at home?

JULIE
Well obviously...

SAZ
Yes?

JULIE
... I don't.

SAZ
You...?

JULIE
I have it right here. In case he calls.

SAZ
So... show it to me then.

JULIE
I can't.

SAZ
Why the hell not?

JULIE
Think it through.

SAZ
Think it... okay... Julie gets her dad to invent her a phone.. he does... except...

JULIE
Go on.

SAZ
It's embarrassing. It's an embarrassing phone.

JULIE
Mortifying.

SAZ
Really?

JULIE
Really.

SAZ
Well... show us it so.

JULIE
No!

SAZ
Oh please. I won't laugh.

JULIE
You bloody will.

SAZ
I won't. I promise.

JULIE
Promise.

SAZ
I do.

JULIE
Earnestly.

SAZ
Whatever. Show me.

Julie reluctantly reaches into her bag and pulls out a huge tartan thermos flask with a computer keyboard hanging out of it.

SAZ
No, I don't want tea...

JULIE
No...

SAZ
No...?

The truth dawns on SAZ. She cracks up laughing.

SAZ
No.

JULIE
He couldn't fit all the bits into anything smaller.

SAZ
So he put it in a flask.

JULIE
It works quite well.

SAZ
So what?

JULIE
So what?

SAZ
Honey, the man ain't gonna text your ass on a flask!

JULIE
No, I don't suppose he will.

SAZ
I got to go.

JULIE
Where?

SAZ
To spend two cinematic hours keeping Gilbert Pugh out of my seat.

JULIE
Nice, be careful eh?

SAZ
Don't worry. Poor Gilbert couldn't find his arse with both hands so I reckon mine is safe enough. Later girl.

JULIE
Yeah, later.

SAZ exits.

JULIE notices that SAZ has left her phone behind.

She picks it up to take it back to her.

JULIE
Saz, you've left your...

As she turns to follow SAZ, JOHNNY enters.

She looks at him and he looks at her. He needs to break the ice but he can't.

He reaches into his jacket and takes out his phone and a familiar piece of paper. Nervously he punches in a number.

Julie's bag starts to ring.

She looks at the bag, then at Johnny.

Johnny nods, willing her to answer the phone in her hand. He doesn't know it's the embarrassing one that's ringing.

And there is no way she can answer a flask.

JULIE
Why can't we just talk?

Johnny looks at her as if she has two heads. He turns and flees for his life.

JULIE
Oh... poo.

She looks at the cool phone in her hand and then at the horrible phone in the bag. She dials on SAZ's phone.

JULIE
Hello. Johnny? It's Julie. Look sorry I couldn't call you then. It's a long story. Could we meet up for a moment... we don't have to talk or anything. I... I just want show you... My new phone.

As she exits, the narrator enters.

NARRATOR
Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive. Many of you will think I stole that from Shakespeare but I didn't... look it up when you go home. But hark, it's another two days further on and a lady without a phone approaches - 'La Belle Dam Sans Nokia'.....


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