Thursday, August 16, 2007
Eoin Kelly's view of the All Ireland
Kelly backs Cats to overcome lack of competition
http://www.irishexaminer.com/irishexaminer/pages/story.aspx-qqq
g=sport-qqqm=sport-qqqa=sport-qqqid=39905-qqqx=1.asp
By Brendan O'Brien
TIPPERARY'S Eoin Kelly doesn't believe that Kilkenny's relative lack of competition this summer will count against them when they face a battle-hardened Limerick side in next month's All-Ireland hurling final.
Limerick's unexpected odyssey began with the three-game saga against
Kelly's own Tipp side back in early June and Richie Bennis' side have
taken part in three more hard-fought encounters since then.
Kilkenny's season has been far more sedate with the quarter-final
against Galway the only occasion they were pushed out of the comfort
zone.
That is a scenario they are well versed in, according to the Mullinahone
man: ''Kilkenny are battle hardened from the last few years and the
Galway game was a good 60 minutes of championship pace. They were able
to pull away in the last five or ten minutes so that isn't their fault.
"Kilkenny know the challenge and they don't get complacent in any game
but it's good to see a new team in the All-Ireland final."
Like most neutrals, Kelly would love to see the Shannonsiders cap their
fairytale season with a first All-Ireland title in 34 years but he
doesn't see the Leinster champions being "caught" on the day.
"Kilkenny are a step above everyone at the moment and there are a lot of
teams then on level par. Any of those teams on any given day you could
see as All-Ireland contenders. Limerick are fitting that bill this year
and you would give them a chance but Kilkenny are obviously raging hot
favourites."
The tag of underdog has not been a burden to Limerick so far. They upset
the odds with their eventual defeat of Tipp while last Sunday's win
against Waterford was nothing short of a seismic shock to the system.
"It has been a good hurling championship this year. The games have been
flying in and out every week and you have to get up for them," said
Kelly.
"Waterford didn't play totally badly. They got caught in the first 10,
20 minutes and they pegged them back. Limerick got the goals and goals
win games."
As Kelly admits, the victory over Tipperary just over seven weeks ago -
their first Munster Championship win in six years - was the springboard
from which everything else has come for Limerick.
Far from thinking what might have been had Tipp emerged victorious from
that second replay, Kelly instead sees their neighbours' progress as a
source of optimism for the years ahead.
"It gives a lot of teams the confidence to say that we could be in the
final. It will be interesting to see how they get on."
Kelly himself is fully over the groin strain which hampered the latter
stages of his inter-county season, one that ended on a sour note with
former manager Babs Keating criticising his fitness levels.
Tonight sees him in action for his club against Upperchurch and it is
forwards rather than backwards he is looking: "The year is over at this
stage and I'm just looking forward to next year, especially with the
minors in the final," he said when asked about Keatings' comments.
"It's great to have a Tipp team back in a final. If they could win it
would be great.
"We (the seniors) haven't got past the quarter-final stages in the last
couple of years so we would be disappointed with that. There's players
coming through with the minors back in the All-Ireland final. It will be
interesting to see how they get on."
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Actual call centre conversations !!!!!
Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?".
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
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Samsung Electronics
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".
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RAC Motoring Services
Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?"
Operator: " Doesn't the product name give you clue?"
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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):
"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"
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Directory Enquiries
Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".
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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland ".
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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".
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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?".
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".
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Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
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Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".
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There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type"
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
" Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too $*%ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!"
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Munster take a fall
Munster fell at the last hurdel yesterday. They were outplayed at their own game. This as the games stand, today Sunday, could see them playing Biaritz away from home. Sweet Jesus. Munster badly missed their two missing players Quinlan and definitely Halstaad. With nearly six weeks to the next match maybe they can regroup but the task is a lot greater now. Lets hope that they pick up no injuries during the six nations.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Things that get on peoples wicks
People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the fuck is yours?
Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?
People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". P&*s off. What good is a goddamn cake if you can't eat it? What, should I eat someone else's cake instead?
When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No dick nose, I paid €9.00 to come to the theatre and stare at the ceiling up there. What did you come here for?
People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya buddy?
When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know, you bloody well pulled me over.
When people say "Life is short." What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What? Are they going to do something that's longer?
When people ask "Can I BORROW a piece of paper?" Sure, but please don't return the favor! It's on god damn piece of paper!
When you are waiting for the bus and someone ask you "Did the bus come yet?" If the bus came I would not be standing here asshole!