The whole .sig story
Part Two: Siant V Tar The World
A egotistical look at one man, his .sig and
the ASCII letter that was to dominate his life ......
I lived within McQ for a while but decided that I needed
a new font. My V had had enough at this stage, what with being turned
into a W and having it's top line being ripped off. It disappeared. Rumour
had it that it had gone off to guest star in Sesame Street.
But suddenly out of the blue:
[Headers lost unfortunately]
Bill Wilkinson found my V!!:
>
> _amp wrote:
>
> :--amp: who really would like his V back
>
> Well, at least alt.fan.warlord has eased up on you.
True, but still, I really would like it back.
> WAITAMINITE!
What!?
> There's you'r V!!! It just needs a little yeast!
> |__________________________
> |
> : __ __ ____@ \|/
> : /\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig v2.42
> : / \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
> :/_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
>
Well flip my floobers!!!
> Huh?
>
Nevermind
>
Hmmm... *gets up, walks to kitchen, realizes he hasn't got any yeast,
goes out, faces large wall of frozen Dihydrogen Monoxide, can't
get over it (har!!), goes around it, goes into Yeast shop, buys yeast,
returns home*
____
Lemme see...just about there /\ \
/ \___\
/ / /|
\ / / |
__ __ ____ \/__/ |
/\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig v2.42
/ \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
__ __ ____
/\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig V2.42
/ \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
Hey!! somethin's happenin!!
__ __ ____
/\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig \/2.42
/ \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
__ __ ____ \ /
/\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig \/2.42
/ \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
__ __
\ \/ /
__ __ ____ \ /
/\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig \/2.42
/ \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
It worked!!!!Cheers Bill!. I'll just move it over there...
__ __ __ __ ____
\ \/ //\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.42
\ // \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
\//_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
Ahhh.. it's good to have it back
--Vamp: Got my V back :)
__ __
\ \ / / __ __ ____
\ \/ //\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.42
\ // \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
\//_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
er.....
__ ___
\ \/ / __ __ ____
\ //\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.42
\ // \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
\//_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
HELP!!!
___ ___
\ \ / /
\ \/ / __ __ ____
\ //\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.42
\ // \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
\//_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
IT'S GONNA BLOW!!!!
____ ____
\ \/ /
\ / __ __ ____
\ //\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.42
\ // \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
\//_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
__ __ __ _ _
\ \ / /
\ BOOOO M!!! /__ __ ____
\ / /\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.42
\ / / \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
\/ /_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
--amp: too much!! arrrghhh... too much!!. I WAS SO CLOSE!!!
__ __ ____
/\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.42
/ \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
Heartbroken I moved up a version, my V apparently lost
forever
__ __ ____
/\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.43
/ \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|"It just needs a little Yeast!"-Bill
But little did I know:
Subject: HUH (Was: Re: BANG (Was: SPLAT))
Date: Sat, 06 Apr 1996 02:21:55 GMT
From: fts@cris.com (Chester Karma)
Reply-To: fts@cris.com
Organization: FtS / iLP Productions
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity, alt.stupidity.spatch
On Mon, 01 Apr 1996 11:25:36 +0000, amp@mts.dbo.dec.com
wrote:
>Bill Wilkinson wrote:
> >
> > sdc@teleport.com () wrote:
> >
> > :*
> > !
>#
>--amp: this could turn into a whole new language!!
?
>(or maybe not..)
Good thinking.
> __ __ ____
> /\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.43
> / \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
>/_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|"It just needs a little Yeast!"-Bill
Let me try something here... VMP would be better than AMP, wouldn't it?
__ __ ____
O /\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.43
/---/ \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/\ /_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|"It just needs a little Yeast!"-Bill
/\ HRRRMPT.. this A is heavy!
/ \ /
/_/\_\ __ __ ____
\0/ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.43
| | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/ \ |_|\__/|_||_|"It just needs a little Yeast!"-Bill
__ __
\ \/ / Now to flip it over...
\ / /
\/ __ __ ____
\0/ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.43
| | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/ \ |_|\__/|_||_|"It just needs a little Yeast!"-Bill
__ __
\ \/ / *pant* This is heavy.... AAAUGH!
\ / /
\/ __ __ ____
\0/ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.43
| | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/ \ |_|\__/|_||_|"It just needs a little Yeast!"-Bill
(crunch) GET IT OFF! GET IF OFF! AAUUGH!
/
__ _ __ __ ____
\ \/ /| \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.43
\ / | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
O_\/_ |_|\__/|_||_|"It just needs a little Yeast!"-Bill
\ \
Chester - who should have thought this through more...
---
"Looking toward his .sig, _Amp brought his activities to a stop. He had
already heard a peculiar 'crunch', and now the figure resembling Chester
Karma beneath the newly formed 'V' intrigued him..."
Chester 'Flat' Karma ... fts@cris.com ... http://www.cris.com/~fts
Chester lived under my V for a while but I could
not live with the sheer cruelty that I witnessed with each post I made....
Stupidity... the froupy newsfroup....Theses are the adventures of
Chester 'Flat' Karma:
>
> On 9 Apr 1996 05:48:47 GMT, sean@pacificone.com (Darth Vader) wrote:
>
> >In article <3168ad4f.18819891@news.cris.com>, fts@cris.com says...
> >>
> >
> >Not to worry, you'll have plenty of time to perfect your play-a-days while
> >you are stuck underneath that ascii 'A'. Nobody let the A off of Chester
> >for another month until Mr. Play-A-Day returns.
>
> It's pretty comfortable under here. I found plenty of games to play:
>
> __ __
> \ \/ / Hello? Is this 555-1523? It's not? Sorry.
> \ / /
> O_\/_
> \ \
>
> [Random repeated "wrong number" calling]
>
[other games snipped]
>
> __ __ _______
> \ \/ / | _____ |
> \ / ||News:||
> O_\/_ ||_____||
> \ \ |_______|
>
> [Post anecdotal messages to alt.i.am.crushed.by.a.giant.v]
>
> Is fun, no?
>
Sorry Chester but I've got alt.fan.warlord, the health department,
and various strange vegetable like people hanging around outside.
And so after many minutes of intensive research I have developed a crane .sig
to free Chester.
Here goes:
_____
| \\
| \\
| \\___
J _[____] *chug-chug-chug*
__ __ ______(o_____o)
\ \/ /| \ / || _ \Coming soon MAYBE!! My .sig with no
\ / | \ \/ / || __/butt ugly text!! Hmm..Chester? you ok?....
O_\/_ |_|\__/|_||_|Get cured at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
\ \
_____ "Lower Away!"
| \\
| \\
| \\___ "Lowering Away!"
J _[____]
__ __(o_____o) ____
\ \/ /| \ / || _ \Coming soon MAYBE!! My .sig with no
\ / | \ \/ / || __/butt ugly text!! Hmm..Chester? you ok?....
O_\/_ |_|\__/|_||_|Get cured at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
\ \
_____
| \\ "Attach the V!"
| \\
| \\____ "Attaching the V!!"
| _[____]
__| __(o_____o)____
\ \/ /| \ / || _ \Coming soon MAYBE!! My .sig with no
\ / | \ \/ / || __/butt ugly text!! Hmm..Chester? you ok?....
O_\/_ |_|\__/|_||_|Get cured at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
\ \
_____
| \\ "Hoist Away!"
| \\
| \\____ "Hoisting Away!!"
__| __ _[____]
\ \/ /_(o_____o)____
\ / | \ / || _ \Coming soon MAYBE!! My .sig with no
\/ | \ \/ / || __/butt ugly text!! Hmm..Chester? you ok?....
O_/__ |_|\__/|_||_|Get cured at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
\ \
_____ "Batton down the Hatches!!"
| \\
| \\ "Battoning down the..Huh?"(tm)
__| __ \\____
\ \/ / _[____]
\ / _(o_____o)____
\/ | \ / || _ \Coming soon MAYBE!! My .sig with no
| \ \/ / || __/butt ugly text!! Hmm..Chester? you ok?....
O_/__ |_|\__/|_||_|Get cured at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
\ \
_____
| \\ "I'm FREE!" [Exit Chester..Stage left]
| \\ /
__| __ \\____ "err..the M's not looking too stable Captain!"
\ \/ / _[____]
\ / _(o_____o)____ "Scotty what's going on down there!"
O\/ | \ / || _ \Coming soon MAYBE!! My .sig with no
/|\ | \ \/ / || __/butt ugly text!! Hmm..Chester? you ok?....
/ \ \_\\__/\_\|_|Get cured at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
_____
| \\ "It's just nae use Captain I cannae hold it!!"
| \\
__| __ \\____ *crunch*
\ \/ / _[____] ____
\ /__(o_____o)| _ \Coming soon MAYBE!! My .sig with no
\/ \ \ \/ \ | __/butt ugly text!! Hmm..Chester? you ok?....
\_\\_/\_\ |_|Get cured at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
_____
| \\ "All hands to starboard, ready the lifeboats,
| \\ Chicken curry for dinner!!"
__| __ \\____ ____
\ \/ / _[____] | _ \Coming soon MAYBE!! My .sig with no
\ /__(o_____o)| __/butt ugly text!! Hmm..Chester? you ok?
\/ \_\\_/\_\ |_|Get cured at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
"Damage report Mr Wibbleicous"
_____
| \\ "err..we've lost the M sir and we're outside the...
__| __ \\ ____ ..*Hammer type violins*..McQuad limit!!"
\ \/ / \\____ | _ \Coming soon MAYBE!! My .sig with no
\ / _[____] | __/butt ugly text!! Hmm..Chester? you ok?
\/ (o_____o)|_|Get cured at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
"Opinions on the banana flavoured situation Mr Spock"
__ ___ ____
\ \/ /\\___ | _ \Coming soon MAYBE!! My .sig with no
\ /_[____] | __/butt ugly text!! Hmm..Chester? you ok?
\/(o_____o)|_|Get cured at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
"The McQuad limit appears to have swallowed part of the crane, Captain"
"That's nae a very likely plot twist Mr Pointy Ears"
"True, it appears as though we have just passed through a Dodgey Scenario Field"
"Damn your Vulcan logic!!!"
"Well Mr KappPANG!..PANG!..PANG! make the horsey go reall fast..
an' head THAT way!"
*With a flash of light and a boooom they vanish*
--amp: who finds that his .sig is getting weirder exponentially
__ ___ ____
\ \/ /\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Takes Over The World!!!"-the motion picture.
\ /_[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Special padding and more names dropped at:
\/(o_____o)|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
(Note McQuad=McQuary or McQ)
Right. So now I had a tank/forklift/crane in my .sig and
yet another BUAF casualty. After being sacked from Any Key (because
my clandestine use of other unapproved of keys like the Every Key) I went
into the arms smuggling business...
Subject: Re: I want...
Date: 19 Apr 1996 15:23:31 GMT
From: dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN)
Organization: The strangest place
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
In some bacon article _amp@mts.dbo.dec.com stated:
>Magnus Mulqvist wrote:
>> In article <4l0qfg$5a8@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes:
>> >Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@compuserve.com) wrote:
>> >: a machine that places across the
>> >: screen
>> >: brightly-colored objects
>> >: that make me happy
>> >: know what i mean?
>>
>> >: --Bill
>>
>> >YES, I DO
>> >YES, ME TOO!!1
>> >SEND NAKEDD PEECTOORS PLEASE
>> >OF BULLOKK, HATCHER, AND TINA LOUISE!
>>
>> >Ross--who may give new meaning to "waxing poetic" but doesn't want to start
>> >another one of "those threads."
>>
>> And why not, my good man? I'm getting to feel more and more like
>> one of "those threads" is what we'd need here in the middle of
>> all kindsa biblists and meowists and constitutionalists and such.
>> We'd need sheer STOOPIDITY!!
Or an abundance of ASCII graphics!
>> *MM -- who has stunned himself by that "cosnt..." oh well.
Antidisestablishmentarism?
>HOOOOOOO!!!!
...s in da house!!!
Let me hear you say Wheeeee!!!
>-- amp: WHEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Let me say you hear Whaaaaa!!!
>__ ___ ____
>\ \/ /\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Takes Over The World!!!"-the motion picture.
> \ /_[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Special padding and more names dropped at:
> \/(o_____o)|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
^^^^^^^^^
Wait a minnit!!! That's a god damn TANK!
They've spotted us, Sir!
>__ ___ / ____
>\ \/ /\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Takes Over The World!!!"-the motion picture.
> \ /_[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Special padding and more names dropped at:
> \/(o_____o)|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
Full speed ahead!
>__ ___ \ ____
>\ \/ /\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Takes Over The World!!!"-the motion picture.
> \ /_[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Special padding and more names dropped at:
> \/(o_____o)|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
>__ ___ ____
>\ V /\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Takes Over The World!!!"-the motion picture.
> \ /_[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Special padding and more names dropped at:
> \(o_____o) |_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
>__ __ ____
>\ V/\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Takes Over The World!!!"-the motion picture.
> \/_[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Special padding and more names dropped at:
> (o_____o)..|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
INCOMING!!!
>__ _ / ____
>\ /\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Takes Over The World!!!"-the motion picture.
> V_[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Special padding and more names dropped at:
> (o_____o)...|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
Way off!
>_ _ / ____
>\/\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Ta \ | / r The World!!!"-the motion picture.
> _[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Sp -POP- adding and more names dropped at:
>(o_____o)....|_| http:// / | \ .iol.ie/~adamj
We're almost there!
>_ _ / ____
>\\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Ta \ | / r The World!!!"-the motion picture.
>_[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Sp -POP- adding and more names dropped at:
(o_____o).....|_| http://ire|and.iol.ie/~adamj
They're getting closer!
>_ / ____
>\\___ | _ \S \ | / iant V Ta \ | / r The World!!!"-the motion picture.
_[____] | __/C -POP- LIVES! Sp -POP- adding and more names dropped at:
o_____o)......|_| / | \ http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
...almost there!
_ / ____
\\___ | _ \S \|/ iant V Ta \|/ r The World!!!"-the motion picture.
[____] | __/C -O- LIVES! Sp -O- adding and more names dropped at:
_____o).......|_| /|\ http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
Watch out!!!
/ ____
\___ | _ \S `|' iant V Ta `|' r The World!!!"-the motion picture.
____] | __/C -o- LIVES! Sp -o- adding and more names dropped at:
____o)........|_| '|` http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
AAARRGH!!!
. ./ . ____
\ | / | _ \S`|'iant V Ta`|'r The World!!!"-the motion picture.
.-POP-. | __/C-o-LIVES! Sp-o-adding and more names dropped at:
://|\\::......|_| '|` http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
. ____
.\ | / | _ \S : iant V Ta : r The World!!!"-the motion picture.
.-POP-. | __/C o LIVES! Sp o adding and more names dropped at:
:/:|:\::......|_| : http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
____
` : ' . | _ \S . iant V Ta . r The World!!!"-the motion picture.
.-POP- | __/C . LIVES! Sp . adding and more names dropped at:
:':::`:.......|_| . http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
____
. . . | _ \S.iant V Ta.r The World!!!"-the motion picture.
_pOp_ . | __/C.LIVES! Sp.adding and more names dropped at:
.:::::........|_| . http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
____
. | _ \S iant V Ta r The World!!!"-the motion picture.
.pop. | __/C LIVES! Sp adding and more names dropped at:
.:::::..:.....|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
____
| _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
:o: | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
.:::::..:.....|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
____
| _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
.:. | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
.:::::........|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
____
, | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
.:. | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
.:::::........|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
____
; | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
.:. | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
.:::::.:...:..|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
. ____
| | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
.:. | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
.:::::.|...|..|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
v ____
| | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
.:. a m | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
.:::::.|...|..|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
V ____
| | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
.:. A M | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
.:::::.|...|..|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
V ____
|, | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
| A M | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
..:::..|,..|,.|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
V ____
`|, A M | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
| ,|. ;|; | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
..:::..|,..|,.|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
-V- ____
\|/ A /\/\ | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
| /|\ :||: | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
..:::.:|:.:||:.|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
--v-- -- ____
\./ || /\/\ | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
:|: / \ |\/| | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
..:|:;_/\_;|__|.|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
__ __ _ _ ____
\ | / /\ / \/ \| _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
\ / / \ | \/ || __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
..|_|/_/\_\|_||_||_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
__ __ _ _ ____
\ \/ //\ | \ / || _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
\ // \ | \/ || __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
.\//_/\_\|_|\/|_||_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
__ __ __ __ ____
\ \/ //\ | \ / || _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
\ // \ | \ \/ / || __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
\//_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
/^JN - The Anti JN - How about that for a comeback?
--
######## Anti homepage! ########
# The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc #
# Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se #
############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
And so children, that is where the phrase: "Siant
V Tar The World" came from and it has remained there ever since. Unfortunately
for me the A and the M were offered lucrative contracts to appear beside
the clock on a breakfast television program and I had change it:
__ ______
\ \/ /| _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!!
\ / | __/Wubley!Wubley!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
\/ |_| v2.78 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
As you can see I misspellled the middle line and had to
revise to version 2.79:
__ ______
\ \/ /| _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!!
\ / | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
\/ |_| v2.79 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
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