Always on my mind VII (set approximately three years after 'Mayday')

Previously on ER
Kerry and Dave are married and have a year old daughter called Sarah
Kerry became pregnant with twins, but suffered a Placental Abruption at thirty-six weeks and was rushed to theatre for an emergency caesarean.
Abby informed Dave that he had two sons, but that Kerry was losing blood rapidly
Luka joined Dave as he sat in vigil outside the OR

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"Dave, I wish I could offer you assurances that everything will be all right," said Luka. "But I cannot. All I can say is, whatever happens, you are not alone. Always remember that you have friends, and we will be here for you."

"Thanks Luka," said Dave.

Then the doors to the OR opened and Dr Coburn walked out with a serious expression on her face.

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Dave sat by Kerry's bed, holding her hand. Dr Coburn had told Dave that she had required five units of blood during the surgery, and had narrowly avoided a hysterectomy.

"If she gets through the next twenty-four hours, she should make a full recovery," Dr Coburn had said. "But I would strongly advise her against becoming pregnant again."

Well Dave didn't care. As long as Kerry was all right, that was what mattered. Word of what had happened had spread quickly through the hospital, and there had been a constant stream of visitors to her room. Dave appreciated the fact that so many people cared so much about both of them, but he still was would have preferred to be left alone with Kerry, waiting for her to wake up.

Jeanie had turned up and had insisted on taking Sarah, promising to look after her until Dave was ready. Everybody knew that there was no point in trying to persuade Dave to leave.

Memories of their life together, both good and bad, flooded Dave's mind as he sat and waited by Kerry's side.

- The look on Kerry's face as she used the sternal saw to cut Lucy open. -

- Kerry suggesting to him that he pad the handles of his crutch, to avoid getting blisters on his palm. Dave taking her by the hand and telling her it looked 'mighty fine' -

- The sound of her laughter when he was trying to teach her to ride a tandem -

- The look on her face when she realized that he would hand a patient over to her rather than give pain relief to a child abuser -

- The look on her face after he had screwed up by discharging a patient that he hadn't seen. The worst part had been that she hadn't yelled at him. All she had done was look sadly at him and said, "Dave, I am very disappointed in you." And that had hurt him worse than anything. -

- Kerry crying in his arms when Gabe Lawrence had died -

- Her tear-stained face, when Dave had come to, after their car accident -

- Taking Kerry to visit his family -

- How beautiful she had looked on their wedding day. -

- Holding Sarah in her arms when she was only a few minutes old -

Dave wouldn't have thought it possible, but worn out by the strain of the day's events, he fell asleep still holding Kerry's hand. His dreams were unsettling, images of Kerry haunting him. "Don't leave me," he pleaded as he jerked himself awake.

"I'm not going anywhere Dave," whispered Kerry.

"Kerry?" said Dave, unable to believe it. "Oh my god."

"The babies?" asked Kerry weakly.

"Both fine. We have two beautiful boys," replied Dave, as he gently stroked her hair. "Don't ever scare me like that again, you hear?"

"I won't," promised Kerry.

"I love you so much, I don't ever want to lose you."

"I don't ever want to leave you," whispered Kerry, reaching up to stroke Dave's face. "I love you too."

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It was two weeks later. Kerry was recovering from the operation and both she and the twins had been moved to normal wards.

Kerry sat up in her hospital bed and surveyed her family. 'Her family', she smiled at the words. Four years ago, if someone had told her that she would be married with three children, she would have laughed in their faces. Back then, her only ambition had been to become head of the ER. Well, she had managed <that>, and had enjoyed it for a few years, but somehow it didn't seem as important any more. Funny how it had taken a brush with death to make her realize what her priorities were.

Sarah was sitting in her pushchair, contentedly munching on a book. Beside the bed, her two sons were asleep in their cots. It was rare for them both to be asleep simultaneously, and the peace would probably only last until one of them got hungry. Harry Thomas, and Andrew Michael Weaver-Malucci. It had taken them a while, but they had finally decided on names for them. Dave had persisted in calling them 'thing one' and 'thing two', to wind up Kerry. She had retaliated by threatening to give them three or four names each, to use up all her favorites. Not that she would have done it. After all, with a double-barreled surname, their names were going to be long enough. Besides, she didn't think Dave would have room on his arm for 'Daniel Luke Thomas Antonio Weaver-Malucci', which had been one of her suggestions.

Dave was curled up in the chair by her bed. Carefully, so as not to pull at her incision, Kerry leaned over and blew gently in his ear. "Just a few more minutes Kerry," mumbled Dave as he shifted position. Kerry smiled. She briefly contemplated letting him sleep for a little longer, after all he had just finished a busy shift, but then she decided it was time he was awake.

Leaning over a bit further, she hissed in his ear, "Dr. Malucci, if I don't see you standing over a sick patient in the next thirty seconds looking compassionate and engaged, you'll spend the next week doing nothing but disempactions and yeast infections."

Dave shot upright in the chair, "I'm up, I'm up," he said frantically as he staggered to his feet. "What the hell?" he said as he took in his surroundings. "You little..."

Kerry tried in vain to suppress her laughter. "Shh," she said. "You'll wake the children."

"Let them wake, so they can find out what a devious woman their mother is," said Dave as he sat down on the bed beside Kerry.

"I'm sorry," laughed Kerry. "Oh dear, but I was getting bored, and it was either wake you or the twins, and at least you don't howl when you get woken up."

"Try that on me again, and you'll be the one howling." Dave put his arms around Kerry. She leaned back against him, enjoying the feeling of his strong arms around her. "I think it's just as well you're getting out of here tomorrow. You have too much time on your hands if you're thinking up tricks like that."

"I can hardly wait," said Kerry with feeling. "I feel like I've been stuck here forever."

"Another twenty-four hours and I'll be taking you home."

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The next day, Kerry strapped herself into the car and looked up at the hospital, which had been her home for the last six weeks. If truth be told, there had been times in the last six odd years when she had felt it to be more of a home than her own house. But the last few weeks, coupled with how close she had come to death, had made her reassess her priorities. With her husband by her side and her children asleep in the back she realized what was really important. Pulling Dave close to her she gave him a warm kiss. "Take me home," she said softly. So he did.

I had a good life
Before you came
I had my friends and my freedom
I had my name
Still there was sorrow and emptiness
'Til you made me glad
Oh, in this love I found strength I never knew I had

And this love
Is like nothing I have ever known
Take my hand, love
I'm taking you home
I'm taking you home

There were days, lonely days
When the world wouldn't throw me a crumb
But I kept on believing
That this day would come

And this love
Is like nothing I have ever known
Take my hand, love
I'm taking you home
I'm taking you-home
Where we can be with the ones who really care
Home, where we can grow together
Keep you in my heart forever

And this love
Is like nothing I have ever known
Take my hand, love
I'm taking you home
Taking you home

THE END

Author's notes

Some of the memories Dave has, are from my earlier series 'Consequences'
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Part VI

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