Road Trip 8
Kerry and Luka and Dave and Carter
Previously on ER
A grateful (and rich) patient invited some of the ER doctors on
an all-expenses paid trip to Ireland to attend a conference in
Galway. Arriving in Dublin they discovered that they had to drive
themselves to Galway. Kerry spent most of the journey trying to
get into Luka's pants. Unfortunately some unfortunate accidents
resulting in Carter getting into them first <g>. (Not like
<that> you filthy minded people you, he simply ran out of
clean clothes to wear and had to borrow some). After several
misadventures, they arrived on the outskirts of Galway.
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As Luka drove around a corner, they were greeted by a sign saying
'Failte go Gallimh'
"At last," muttered Kerry.
"Does anyone know how to get to the hotel?" asked Luka,
as he drove through along the road.
Kerry shook her head. "I think our best bet is to head
straight for the University. There should be someone there
setting up for the seminar. They'll be able to tell us how to get
to the hotel."
"Okay then...how do we get to the University?"
"I'm sure it'll be well signposted," replied Kerry.
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Half an hour later, they were still looking for a signpost, and
Dave was starting to get dizzy from all the roundabouts they had
gone through.
"Luka, you're sending us round in circles," said Carter.
"We've definitely been here before."
"I'd like to see <you> do any better," muttered
Luka under his breath. At every roundabout, each of his traveling
companions suggested a different turn off, and then complained
loudly when the University failed to materialize in front of them.
"I thought you said you had a map of Galway, Kerry," he
said out loud.
"I do," said Kerry, blushing slightly, "But it's
all in Irish. I can't find the University on it anywhere."
Luka rolled his eyes.
"Don't they speak English here?" asked Dave, with a
look of horror on his face. "How am I going to chat up, err
I mean get to know, err talk to anyone?"
"Oh, I'm sure you'll find some way to communicate,"
teased Carter.
"Don't be mean, John," said Kerry, smiling at the look
on Dave's face. "Don't worry Dave, people do speak English
here. You shouldn't have any problem." Well, not more than
usual, she thought to herself.
Finally, they pulled over to the side of the road, and called
over the first passer-by they saw.
"Excuse me," said Kerry, "I wonder if you could
tell us how to get to the University?"
"Well, you have to study really hard," said the young
man. "Just kidding. You're not too far away. Just keep going
straight, past Rabbittes pub until you come to Eyre Square.
That's the big green area. Then go halfway round the square, past
the Skeff hotel, and turn left down Shop Street. Turn right at
the 'Cellar' bar and you're into Eglington Street. At the end of
the street, go left, around a bend and over the Salmon Weir
Bridge. Facing you will be the Cathedral. Just go to the right of
that and turn right at the petrol station and the main entrance
is the first on the right. Got it?"
Kerry was trying to remember the directions. "We have it,"
said Luka. "Thank you for your help."
"Anytime," said the man as he went on his way.
"Okay, that doesn't sound too bad," said Luka, as he
pulled out into the road. "Just keep an eye out for those
pubs he mentioned."
"Yeah, and if we get lost, we can always ask for directions
in one," said Dave, hopefully. "Say, is anyone else
hungry."
"Shut up, Dave," chorused the other three.
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After a few wrong turnings, and more requests for directions,
they finally made it as far as the cathedral. Dave looked at the
writing on a small building near the river.
"Thanagamar, conaicamer, bu...buamer, olamer," he read
out as they passed.
"What the hell does that mean?"
"Maybe it is another Irish greeting," suggested Luka,
"You know, like 'pogue mo thoin'." He tried to keep a
straight face.
"I'm not sure if that's how it's pronounced," said Dave.
"I mean, maybe that's why those people in Birr were annoyed
at me. Maybe they don't like tourist mispronouncing their
language."
Luka snorted, but made no comment.
-------------------
"There, that's it," exclaimed Kerry, as she saw the
sign. 'Collaiste na hOllscoile Gaillimh - University College
Galway'.
"Thank god for that," said Dave. The other three looked
at him, apprehensively.
"What? No, no, I'm not nauseous. Just stiff from being
cramped in the back of this car. Carter's taking up all the leg
room."
"I am not," said Carter, indignantly. "You're the
one taking up more than your share of space."
"Children, children," said Kerry, smiling at the two of
them. "I know it's been a long couple of days, but we're
nearly there."
Dave didn't reply. He had his nose pressed up against the window
trying to see, if that really was a bicycle hanging at the top of
a flagpole beside the car park.
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Following the signs in the College, Kerry and her entourage made
their way to the registration desk, which had been set up in the
Quad. "Hi, I'm Dr Weaver from Chicago, and these are my
colleagues. We're here to register for the seminar."
"Welcome to Galway. I'm Niamh Ni Floinn," said the
young woman behind the desk. "Actually, we were expecting
you yesterday. What happened? Did you miss your flight?"
"Oh no," said Kerry, "We got to Dublin all right,
but there was no transport arranged, so we had to hire a car and
drive here. We got a flat tire half way here, and had to stay
overnight in Birr, while it was being fixed."
Niamh looked at Kerry in surprise. "You mean you didn't get
your tickets?"
"Tickets?"
"Yes, we sent you plane tickets from Dublin to Galway. When
you didn't show up at the airport, we figured maybe you'd missed
the plane."
"We could have flown to Galway?" said Luka. "We
could have avoided all the flat tire's, vomiting stops, being
crapped on by cows?"
"Oops," said Kerry, as she started to blush.
"Kerry/Dr Weaver/Chief," the three chorused as they
looked at Kerry.
---------------------
To be continued.
Author's notes.
Apologies if I've given incorrect directions. It's been 6 years
since I lived in Galway, and over 18 months since I was last
visiting.
Thanagamar, conaicamer, buamer is the rough Irish translation of
'Vendi Vidi Vici'
Olamer is Irish for 'we drank'
The phrase used to be painted on the U.C.G. Kayak clubhouse.
As mentioned before 'Pogue mo thoin' means 'kiss my ass' (also
mentioned before that Luka knew <exactly> what it meant)
Every 'Rag Week', someone hoists a bicycle to the top of a
flagpole. No one know who, or why.
Oh, and technically U.C.G.'s official title is now 'National
University of Ireland - Galway', but it'll always be 'UCG' to me.
Part
VII