APRIL SNIPPETS
(Partly inspired by 'April Showers'... which was pretty neat
considering, I hadn't seen the episode at the time <g>)
--------------------
As Mark and Elizabeth stand before the altar, the minister says,
"If there is anyone here who knows of a reason why these two
should not be joined in matrimony, let them speak now, or forever
hold their peace."
After a few minutes silence, Romano stands up. "I can't let
this continue, Lizzie, don't throw yourself away on this doofus,
you know that I love you..."
"Oh God," mutters Elizabeth.
--------------------
"Carter, I do not think you should go in there," said
Luka, as Carter was about to go into the lounge.
Carter smirked at Luka and said patronizingly, "Dr. Kovac, I
am a 4th year ER resident...I've worked here for almost 7 years...I
have experience in the fields of trauma and surgery...I'm younger
than you, better looking...and your girlfriend has the hots for
me...I do *not* need you or anyone else telling me where I should
or should not go...now if you will excuse me..." Carter
turned and pushed his way into the Lounge.
Luka watched as the basin that had been balanced on top of the
door emptied itself on top of Carter.
"I told you...you should not have gone in there," he
said.
-------------------
After Romano had been escorted from the Church kicking and
screaming, the minister asked his question again. "If there
is anyone here who knows of a reason why these two should not be
joined in matrimony, let them speak now, or forever hold their
peace."
The doors burst open and Susan Lewis rushed in, "Mark, Mark...I'm
sorry...I should never have gone to Phoenix...I love you..."
Mark looked at Elizabeth; "I have never seen this woman
before in my life...pretty damm cute though..."
Elizabeth thumped him with her bouquet and called for security.
----------------------
"Um Deb," said Carter.
"Yeah," replied Jing-Mei, who was filling in a chart.
"You know when you warned Dave that one of his girlfriends
was looking for him?"
"Yeah."
"And you know you suggested that he hide out in the supply
closet until she was gone..."
"Yeah."
"And you said that you'd come and get him when the coast was
clear?"
"Carter, do you have a point?"
"Um, I was just going to point out that it's been almost an
hour since she left..."
"So?"
"Uh, so nothing I guess."
----------------------
"Okay people," said Kerry to the group of doctors
assembled in front of her. "In an effort to facilitate the
smoother running of the ER, I've drawn up a few new rules
regarding who sees what patients. Dr. Carter will now be treating
all drug addicts, both recovering and non-recovering. Dr. Chen
will treat all expectant mothers. You can call on Dr. Corday if
you need assistance. You'll also be responsible for children...especially
those from broken homes and/or with neglectful patients."
"Wait a minute, I'm the pediatrician," objected Cleo,
"Why don't I get to treat the children?"
Kerry consulted her notes, "Because you only work on cases
that involve Dr. Benton, both directly and indirectly."
"Oh, okay."
"Dr. Kovac, you will handle all terminal cases..."
"What if the ER is busy and I have to take a non-terminal
case?" asked Luka.
Kerry frowned, "You'll have to stick to the rules...just
kill them anyway."
-----------------------
Elizabeth looked indignantly at Kerry, "Mark's had half his
skull cut open, chemotherapy wafers inserted into his brain...he's
had to undergo radiotherapy, appointments with Psychiatrists,
Psychologists, he's had personality tests, CT scans, MRI's...just
when were you going to tell him that his tumor was really a piece
of Dr. Flint's donut that fell onto the CT film's?"
-----------------------
"What happened?" asked Abby, seeing Carter covered in
greenish slime.
"Carter got caught by one of Malucci's belated April Fool's
Day pranks," grinned Luka. "And by the way, *do* you
have the hots for him?"
Abby watched as Carter tried unsuccessfully to wipe the slime off
his face. "Not anymore..."
----------------------
Jing-Mei grabbed Cleo in an arm lock and frog marched her into
curtain 3.
"You see these patients?" she said, indicating the beds.
"You see these children?"
"Yeah, I see them," said Cleo.
"Fine... then see them...I've been treating kids for the
last six months...you're the pediatrician...you treat them..."
-----------------------
Back at the wedding, Peter stood up and said, "Elizabeth,
remember what we once had...we can be like that again..."
Before he could continue, Jen Greene burst in through the doors,
"Mark, it was all a mistake, I never should have left you...please...give
me another chance..."
Yosh stood up and said, "Dr. Greene...I've never said this
to you before...but I find bald men incredibly sexy...and..."
He was interrupted by Kerry, who had joined the congregation
unnoticed.
"Oh no," said Mark, seeing her limp down the aisle,
"Please don't tell me that you're in love with me too?"
"You have got to be kidding," snapped Kerry. "I
can't stand you...but Elizabeth on the other hand..."
The minister sighed, "Perhaps it would have been easier if I
had asked if there was anyone here who *didn't* object to this
union?"
The Bishop shrugged, "Don't ask me, I'm dead."
-----------------------
THE END