Helping Children Cope with Trauma

We all struggle, adults and children, to comprehend and cope with trauma or disasters. It is normal to experience unusual or heightened symptoms -- in body and mind -- in response to abnormal events. Here is some information to help children and teens cope.

Some Possible Reactions to Expect from Children After a Disaster or Other Traumatic Event.

• Increased physical complaints (e.g., headaches, stomachaches, aches and pains)
  

• Worries, fears, and anxiety about safety of self and others
  

• Worries about re-occurrence of traumatic event
  

• Negative impact on issues of trust and perceptions
  

• Increased levels of distress or changes in behaviour
  

• Changes in sleep or appetite
  

• Increased negative behaviours (e.g., defiance) or emotions (e.g., sadness, fears, anger, worries)

Additionally, in teens watch for

• Discomfort with feelings, particularly revenge, but also those of vulnerability
  

• Increased risk for substance abuse, including drinking
  

• Discussion of events and reviewing of details
  

How can I Help Children Cope?

There are many things parents and others who care for children can do to help answer their questions and to help alleviate the emotional consequences of the trauma, including the following:

• Avoid unnecessary separations from important caregivers.
  

• Encourage children to speak with you, and with one another, about their thoughts and feelings. This helps reduce their confusion and anxiety related to the trauma. Allow them to ask questions.
  

• Help them understand that "bad" people do bad things, not "different" people.
  

• Give age-appropriate information about the disaster. Especially with younger children answer the question, but answer only what's asked. Don't elaborate or volunteer more information than necessary.
  

• Avoid exposing your child to reminders of the trauma. Limit exposure to news coverage, especially with younger children.
  

• If you do choose to have your child see this information on television, keep it brief, watch it with your child, and talk to your child after to clarify miscommunication.
  

• Protecting children from re-exposure includes limiting exposure to adult conversations about the events -- even when you think they are not listening, they often are. If your child is older or a teen, however, find time to include them in age appropriate discussions about the events and resulting thoughts and feelings.
  

• As parents, we may feel vulnerable, but it's our job to keep things calm in the home. Maintain the family routines, particularly around sleeping, eating, and extracurricular activities. This helps restore a sense of security and normalcy.
  

• With young children, be sure the bedtime routine includes safely tucking them in at night.
  

• Make sure your child is receiving a balanced diet and enough rest.
  

• In older children or teens, extra time with friends who are supportive and meaningful to them may be needed.
  

• Provide soothing activities, such as reading books, listening to music, taking a walk, riding bikes, etc. Some children or teens may benefit from writing their thoughts and feelings in a journal.
  

• Provide play experiences to help relieve tension. Younger children in particular may find it easier to share their ideas and feelings about the events through non-verbal activities such as drawing.
  

• Assure them that their home is safe.
  

• Reassure them repeatedly that you care about them and that you understand their fears and concerns.
  

• Increase patience with your child and with yourself. Give your family time to cope.
  

• Reaffirm the goodness in the world. Find ways that you and your child together can make a donation, or can reach out to someone in need.
  

• Find ways to emphasize to the children that you love them.
  

Sources:

Robin H. Gurwitch, Ph.D., Jane F. Silovsky, Ph.D., Shelli Schultz, Ph.D., Michelle Kees, Ph.D., and Sarah Burlingame, B. A., Department of Pediatrics, University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Centre

North Carolina Psychological Foundation Disaster Response Network, Raleigh, NC

Martha J. Barnard, Ph.D., Clinical Associate Professor Pediatrics, University of Kansas Children's Centre

Charles K. Burnett, Ph.D., Dr. P. H. and Catherine A. Forneris, Ph.D., University of North Carolina Centre for Functional Gastrointestinal Disorders and Motility, Chapel Hill