GRAINNE’S CUT by KEN ARMSTRONG
Tommy: Don't go too far ahead there Peter!
Peta: (shouting) Tommy!
Tommy: What?
Peta: The road, it ends here.
Tommy: Looks that way, doesn’t it?
Peta: There’s no way ahead. Dorothy can you see?
Dorothy: She’s right, isn’t she Tommy? It’s a dead end.
Tommy: No, it isn’t.
Des: It’s ‘The Squeeze.’
Tommy: Exactly. ‘The Squeeze’.
Peta: What is the Squeeze?
Tommy: See up there? In the corner?
Peta: Where?
Tommy: In there, shine your light. That’s it, that’s the way through.
Peta: Surely not.
Dorothy: It’s tiny.
Tommy: It’s tight, but I can get through it.
Des: If fatso can get through, we can get through. Lead me to it.
Peta: I’m not sure that_
Des: Peta!
Peta: You don't know how awful it looks. You can’t see it, Des!
Des: Why thank you for that reminder dear Peta.
Peta: I’m sorry, I didn’t think.
Des: No you did not.
Dorothy: Des! Peta! Stop it.
Tommy: Are things getting tense, girls?
Des: Shut up you moron, just shut up.
Tommy: Tut tut Desdemona.
Dorothy: We need to move on.
Tommy: She’s right. Strip off your things.
Des: What?
Tommy: Just your rucksack and jacket. I’m not suggesting an orgy. You need to be slender to get through here.
SFX: Everybody takes their coats off
Tommy: It isn’t as bad as it looks but it is tight. The two rocks are eight and a half inches apart at the tightest point. The Squeeze is nine feet long in total and there’s a three foot drop into stagnant water at the other end.
Des: I’ll go first.
Tommy: No you won’t. That drop might catch you out, nothing personal.
Dorothy: Me then.
Tommy: Dorothy, why not? Let me help you up. There you go. Ready?
Dorothy: (Breathless) Ready.
Tommy: Go in head first, turn your head sideways, breathe in and push yourself along.
Dorothy: Right, here goes.
SFX: Scrabbling
Tommy: That’s it, nice and easy, use your feet, good.
Des: Go on Dot!
Peta: I don't like this at all.
Tommy: How are you now?
Dorothy: It’s tight. I think I’m getting_ wait. There It’s opening out, its _ (a scream)
Tommy: The drop, she’s through.
Des: (Shouts) Yay Dotty! (Echoes)
Dorothy: I’m all right. It’s easy.
Tommy: I think Peta goes next.
Peta: Why?
Tommy: Because it’s your turn, darling.
Peta: Wait a minute.
Tommy: Come on girl, all your talk about being as good as men, lets see it now.
Des: Don't taunt her. Peta, come on.
Tommy: Yes Peta, come on.
Peta: Maybe I can go back_
Tommy: Oh nonono. There’s no ‘back’. That first drop we came down had a lovely overhang half way up, you won’t get back up over it, even if you are built like an ox.
Des: For God’s sake_
Tommy: Either you go through or you stay here and get pulled out by the ranger.
Dorothy: (Distant) Are you coming?
Des: Peta? Pete?
Peta: (Dorothy) I’m coming through now.
© Ken Armstrong 1997