>> Seasons >> One >> Two >> Three >> Four >> Five >> Six >> Seven
>> Characters >> Lorelai >> The Gilmores >> Paris >> Stars Hollow Citizens
>> Quotes About The Show


"It's my mother's name, too. She named me after herself. She was lying in the hospital thinking about how men name boys after themselves all the time, you know, so why couldn't women? She says her feminism just kind of took over. Though personally I think a lot of Demerol also went into that decision. I never talk this much."
        - Rory exchanges names with Dean, "The Pilot"

"Every day. After school you come out and you sit under that tree there and you read. Last week it was Madame Bovary. This week it's Moby Dick."
"But why would youó"
"You're nice to look at, and because you've got unbelievable concentration. Last Friday these two guys were tossing around a ball and one guy nailed the other right in the face. I mean, it was a mess, blood everywhere, the nurse came out, the place was in chaos, his girlfriend was all freaking out, and you just sat there and read. I mean, you never even looked up. I thought, 'I have never seen anyone read so intensely before in my entire life. I have to meet that girl'."
        - Dean, explaining to Rory how he "noticed" her

"Are you my new daddy?"
        - Rory, scaring off some unwanted attention for Lorelai, "The Pilot"

"I'm gonna be in a Britney Spears video?"
        - Rory, as she sees her Chilton uniform, "The Pilot"

"So tell me about the guy. No, really, are you embarrassed to bring him home?"
"I'm not embarrassed."
"Does he talk at all?"
        - Lorelai, teasing Rory for info about Dean, "The Pilot"

"Hi this is a message for Rory. Itís Max Medina calling. I just wanted to say that I talked to Headmaster Charleston or Ďil duceí as heís more affectionately know at the Gilmore household, and heís agreed to let you do some extra credit work to help make up for the missed test today. Now Iím not sure what the extra credit work is yet, but it probably will be time consuming and extremely painful. It will however get you back up to where you rightfully belong Rory, donít lose heart. Make this work. And if youíre mother is listening, Lorelai it was a pleasure encountering you. I hope it happens again. Anyways, see you in class."
        - Max's message to Rory, "The Deer Hunters"

"You like coffee? Can we drink some together? A sort of pre-date. Very casual, no strings, no obligations. We'll just see if it's even worth going down the road of including food in the deal. Just coffee."
"I'm going to be in town tomorrow because I take a class at Hartford State and there's a coffee shop across the street that I sometimes, almost all the time, go to around 4:00 and usually exactly 4:12. I could not stop a person from entering said establishment around that time, nor would I avoid them if I knew them if they did."
        - Max asks Lorelai out, "Cinnamon's Wake"

"This is a serious problem. These Friday dinners are the only proper food that child eats all week."
"Rory, are you in any way malnourished or in need of some international relief organization to recruit a celebrity to raise money on your account?"
        - Emily and Richard are snowed in with Rory, "Love and War and Snow"

"At some point in your life you're gonna have to decide that some guy is worth opening that front door for. I am just volunteering."
        - Max, volunteering to Lorelai, "Love and War and Snow"

"You are like a mythological creature that casts some kind of spell on me and makes me act stupid. I'm not stupid. I don't act stupid with anyone else."
        - Max, trying to keep his distance from Lorelai

"It should be magical. There should be music playing and romantic lighting and a subtle buildup to the popping of the big question. There should be a thousand yellow daisies and candles and a horse and I don't know what the horse is doing there unless you're riding it, which seems a little over the top, but it should be more than this."
        - Lorelai describes to Max how a marriage proposal should be made

"What's going on?"
"Am I or am I not the head man in charge of floral deliveries?"
"Yes, and one of the few men I know who would proudly declare that fact."
"Daisies no less. As if I would order these pitiful little things. Foul things, these daisies. And just a notch up from weeds. And look how many. I mean, there must be at leastó"
"A thousand of them! A thousand yellow daisies."
        - Lorelai and Michel take delivery of a thousand yellow daisies, "Love, Daisies and Troubadours"


"Where you gonna live? ...Hartford's probably good, closer to Rory's school... Of course, it is a little far from the inn... But who knows how long you'll work after you're married... Oh, but you probably already talked about that, right?"
"Uh, no, but I do think he and my father have come to an agreement on how many goats I'm worth."
"Hey, I'm just talking here. It's great, really. You gonna have more kids?"
        - Luke, catching Lorelai off guard when she tells him about Max's proposal, "Sadie, Sadie"

"Honey, someday when you're a little older you will be introduced to something that is extremely seductive but fickle. A fair-weather friend who seems benign but packs a wallop like a donkey kick, and that is the Long Island iced tea. The Long Island iced tea makes you do things that you normally wouldn't do, like lifting your skirt in public or calling someone you normally wouldn't call at really weird times."
        - a hungover Lorelai warns Rory, "Red Light on the Wedding Night"

"It's a long story. I don't really wanna go into all the whats and whys and gory details right now... and to figure out exactly what happened, you'd have to dig up Freud himself and have him work on me full time."
        - Lorelai, 'explaining' the Max situation to Sookie, "The Road Trip to Harvard"

"You're the most confident person I know. Obnoxiously so. You're good at what you do and you know it."
"I'm good at doing what I have to do. When I had to get a job, I got it. When I had to find a house for us and a life for us, I got it. When I had to get Rory into Chilton, I did it. But I don't have to leave the Independence Inn. I don't have to go into business for myself."
        - Luke and Lorelai, "The Ins and Outs of Inns"

"You sure you don't want some tea? Tea usually makes things like this a little less awkward. There's things to hold and stir."
        - Mia, to Emily, "The Ins and Outs of Inns"

"I hate fighting with friends."
"That's what enemies are for."
"And God knows we have our share of those."
        - Rory and Lorelai, "The Ins and Outs of Inns"

"How often do you get to see teenagers speak iambic pentameter and kill themselves?"
        - Lorelai, going to see Chilton's "Romeo and Juliet" production, "Run Away, Little Boy"

"He has had to watch you go from one guy to another, and then the engagement, and then the engagement was off, and patiently he's waited. And now in walks this kid and he says, 'My God, will she date anyone else in the world before she'll date me?'"
        - Sookie, explaining Luke to Lorelai, "Run Away, Little Boy"

"Iím getting a little creeped out here... This is a cold, cold family."
        - Rory, as the family discuss future burial arrangements, "Richard in Stars Hollow"

"How can I break up with you? Iíve never been out with you."
"Well yeah, but thatís what today was supposed to be, a date."
"A date where we need a secret plan and a two-honk driveby and a decoy cousin?"
        - Henry and Lane, "A Tisket, A Tasket"

"Why are you only nice to me?"
        - Rory, to Jess, "A Tisket, A Tasket"

"But my question is, how did that happen? How was it that suddenly everyone in the world was saying 'music has charms to soothe the savage beast' when it was written breast."
        - Lorelai, to Rory, "It Should've Been Lorelai"

"I'm gonna have to drink a lot of coffee to keep up with you two."
        - Sherry meets Lorelai and Rory, "It Should've Been Lorelai"

"Richard, you didnít even notice your own granddaughter isnít here?"
"Sheís so quiet she sometimes slips in unnoticed. She should work for the CIA."
        - Emily and Richard, as Rory misses dinner night, "It Should've Been Lorelai"

"I mean, weíre not good friends but weíre friends. Weíre friendly... Friendish might be a better term."
        - Rory, describing her friendishship with Jess to Lorelai, "Lost and Found"

"You seem to have a very firm grasp of the English language. You put together several full sentences, even using a couple of words that contain two or more syllables, and then my mother appears and suddenly we need a thought bubble over your head to understand what youíre thinking. Can you tell me why that is?"
"The verbal thing comes and goes."
        - Rory and Jess, "Lost and Found"

"I don't know what anything means anymore. I mean, I can't even read my own handwriting. What does this say? The person who wrote this should be dressed in a clown suit stuffing bodies under their porch."
        - Paris seeking help from Rory for the symptoms of overstudying, "There's The Rub"

"We have not been waiting forever."
"Godot was just here. He said ĎI ainít waiting for Richard,í grabbed a roll, and left. Itís been forever."
        - Emily and Lorelai, at the dinner table, "Back in the Saddle Again"

"When we gather as a family, we eat as a family. We donít eat in shifts."
"You know, youíre bound by the rules of the Geneva Convention, Mother, just like everyone else."
        - Emily and Lorelai, "Back in the Saddle Again"

"Someoneís not taking to Elba too kindly."
"What does that mean?"
"Just that Roryís the leader of this group, Napoleon, and youíre not."
        - Louise and Paris, "Back in the Saddle Again"

"Iím gonna need a picture of this Jess so I donít accidentally rip the head off the wrong kid 'cause that would be bad."
        - Christopher to Lorelai, "Teach Me Tonight"

"If we were gazelles, weíd be the first ones eaten at the watering hole."
"Well, be thankful weíre not gazelles. Now go take your shower. Youíre starting to look like youíre starring in an independent film."
        - Rory and Lorelai, looking the worse for wear, "Help Wanted"

"He's not much of a morning person... It takes him about an hour to become Jackson."
        - Sookie, to Lorelai, "Lorelai's Graduation Day"


"Why'd you turn the car off?"
"Iím just getting the sense that I shouldnít be driving a large vehicle when you tell me this."
        - Rory breaks some news to Lorelai, "Let The Games Begin"

"You sure you donít want a soda?"
"Yeah, Iím sure."
"Please let me get you a soda. I gotta do something other than stand here like a moron."
        - Jess and Rory, feeling awkward, "Let The Games Begin"

"Are you going to talk to him?"
"I'll at least match him grunt for grunt."
"Okay. Now, letís say heís in the house and thereís a fire, and you can either save him or your shoes Ė which is it?"
"That depends Ė did he start the fire?"
        - Rory and Lorelai discuss Jess, "Let The Games Begin"

"I'm so tired of fighting. Or not even fighting because he won't fight. He just gets mad and disappears and then comes back and I don't like how I feel and I don't like what I do."
        - Rory, about her relationship with Jess

"Dean started it... He sucker punched me and I was just defending myself."
"Oh, apparently you defended yourself all the way through the house and out into the front yard. You defended yourself with a chair that is now broken. You defended yourself with a coffee table."
        - Jess and Luke 'recap' the fight

"Let me plant this little thought in your head - you do or say anything to upset Jess and make it harder for me to keep him on the right path, I'm gonna put your head through a wall. Any wall, you can pick the wall, but it's gonna be a wall, okay?"
        - Luke, to Jimmy

"You know, when you left home, were the cops after you?"
"No 'cause they shouldn't be or no 'cause they haven't found the head yet?"
        - Jimmy and Jess

"Oh my God, it's Audrey Hepburn. You're Audrey Hepburn in Sabrina. Just a waif with eyes."
        - Miss Celine greets Rory

"I made out a schedule. Every single moment of every single day from now until graduation is accounted for."
        - Rory might be pushing herself too hard

"Now, did anyone ever to tell you to picture the audience in their underwear? Well, donít do it. I did it once and I had nightmares for a week. Bulgarians in Speedos."
        - Richard offers some pre-speech advice to Rory

"Rory, honey, do you understand, the Gilmores do nothing altruistically. Strings are attached to everything."
"There are no strings... I just have to pay them back starting five years after I graduate, and I have to start going back for Friday night dinners."
"Um, hello, Pinocchio, those are strings."
        - Lorelai and Rory, "Those Are Strings, Pinocchio"

"I live in two worlds. One is a world of books. I've been a resident of Faulkner's Yoknapatawpha County, hunted the white whale aboard the Pequod, fought alongside Napoleon, sailed a raft with Huck and Jim, committed absurdities with Ignatius J. Reilly, rode a sad train with Anna Karenina, and strolled down Swann's Way. It's a rewarding world, but my second one is by far superior. My second one is populated with characters slightly less eccentric but supremely real, made of flesh and bone, full of love, who are my ultimate inspiration for everything."
        - Rory's valedictorian speech, "Those Are Strings, Pinocchio"


"I humiliate myself at least six times a year for this town, and just because I'm going to Yale, that's not going to stop. Now the reason I am not the Ice Cream Queen is because Taylor never asked me. I didn't know about it, and that's why I was busy. Now I love this town, I will be back in that ridiculous pilgrim outfit at Thanksgiving, so everybody just get off my back."
        - Rory, addressing the town, "Ballrooms and Biscotti"

"Are you listening to me? I can't leave. She won't let me leave ever. This is Iran in '79 and you are Jimmy Carter. What do we do?"
        - Rory, taken hostage by Emily at a friday night dinner, "Ballrooms and Biscotti"

"My mother - she was here. I can feel it. Smell that? The room smells like guilt and Chanel No. 5."
        - Lorelai, sensing Emily in Rory's room, "The Hobbit, the Sofa and Digger Stiles"

"My grandmother broke into our room and furnished it..."
        - Rory, updating her roommates on the new decor, "The Hobbit, the Sofa and Digger Stiles"

"Hey, talk to a boy. A boy will be nice to you."
        - Sookie, as she and Lorelai search for Michel, "Chicken or Beef"

"I'm in the Navy now, you know. My older cousins did two-year stints. It paid for their college and stuff, so I joined up. Of course, we weren't fighting international skirmishes on two or three dangerous fronts like we are now..."
        - Kyle, 'designated driver' at Dean's bachelor bash, "Chicken or Beef"

"Stop doing that. Looking at me. You're watching me watch the movie. It's creepy."
"I enjoy watching people watch certain parts of certain movies."
"But you look over just before something big happens, so I always know something's coming."
        - Luke and Lorelai, at his first 'movie night', "The Fundamental Things Apply"

"Dating. It's a horror."
"It's the only cure for the singleness thing, barring ordering a spouse off the internet."
"If I had dated a lot, I'd still be single. I'd just have spent a lot of bad nights at Tony Roma's."
        - Luke and Lorelai, "The Fundamental Things Apply"

"Talk to me about Jason."
"There's nothing to talk about."
"Oh, come on. I'm in a serious romantic dry spell. I need to live vicariously through somebody."
        - Rory and Lorelai, "Ted Koppel's Big Night Out"

"I find nothing exciting before eleven."
        - Rory, not thrilled by the big game, "Ted Koppel's Big Night Out"

"The plural of cul-de-sac is culs-de-sac? That doesn't even sound like English."
"That's because it's French."
        - Lorelai and Rory, discussing the finer points of grammar, "The Nanny and the Professor"

"Now I know who Woody Allen's next leading lady's gonna be."
        - Lorelai finds out who Paris is dating, "The Nanny and the Professor"

"As we speak, I am working on the perfect alibi. I've come up with lots of, you know, mid-afternoon and evening alibis, but so far no 1:00 AM alibis... I'll come up with something. My entire life has been a training session for this very event."
        - Lane, preparing an escape plan for a gig, "In the Clamor and the Clangor"

"How about you taking me to that place you're always talking about. What is it... Duke's?"
        - Jason visits Stars Hollow, "A Family Matter"

"That had all the tact of a Nazi storm trooper."
        - Rory, after hearing Paris break up with a boyfriend, "A Family Matter"

"Man, I love e-mail. Every day Rory and I write each other multiple times. It's great."
"You enjoy typing to people more than talking to them?"
"Wrong perspective. E-mail is a return to the romantic days of letter writing. It's pure Dickens."
       - Lorelai and Luke, "Scene in a Mall"

"I have a gigantic bottle of vodka at my place - the largest bottle of vodka known to man."
"But what will you drink?"
        - Jason and Lorelai, fleeing a disastrous family dinner, "Tick, tick, tick, boom!"

"I'm fine. In a weird way, my father trying to destroy me is the first time I've ever gotten any real respect out of him."
        - Jason, "Tick, tick, tick, boom!"

"I'm officially taking the one hour I have off to go to the driving range to hit golf balls to try to improve my sucky game, thereby redeeming myself in your father's eyes."
"I like the use of 'sucky' and 'thereby' in the same sentence."
        - Jason and Lorelai, "Afterboom"

"So, how's World War III going?"
"Oh, you know, the first boys off the boat were mowed down, but the next platoon is moving in."
"Which means?"
"Jason's making the lawsuit go away."
        - Rory and Lorelai, "Afterboom"

"I was here to cover the reading for the paper to go along with the review of the book. And then I arrive only to realize that every single available girl at Yale is here, including four of my reporters."
        - Doyle, to Rory, as he covers an Asher Fleming reading, "Afterboom"

"I'm just saying that I want to earn all of my grades. No matter how many 'wise, willful, and wonderful women' I know."
        - Rory, afraid she's being favoured by Professor Fleming, "Afterboom"

"Rory... right now is the point in the horror movie where the entire audience is yelling, 'Don't go in there.'"
        - Lorelai, bracing himself for a family dinner, "Afterboom"

The cats -- they know that I've broken up with Jason and that I'm alone and they've decided it's time for me to become a crazy cat lady... they can see it in my face. 'She's single again. She couldn't make it work again. She picked the wrong guy again.'
        - Lorelai, attracting cats, "Luke Can See Her Face"

"Whose phone calls or visits are never unwanted or too long? Do you see her face? Who would you most like to have in your life to ward off moments of loneliness? Do you see her face? When you travel, who would make your travels more enjoyable? Do you see her face?"
        - Luke's self help tape, "Luke Can See Her Face"

"Are you saying that 'sleeping with the zucchini' means..."
"Jackson's sleeping with the zucchini... there's a potential cold front coming in from Canada."
"I'm so sorry, guys... for freaking out about dumb things like zucchini and not realizing that people would respond in very loving and nutty ways. This is not the way to do this."
        - Lorelai and Sookie, as the Inn takes over everyone's lives, "Luke Can See Her Face"

"Rory, you've had quite the dry spell this year."
"I have not had a dry spell."
"There's not one picture of you with a guy."
        - Paris and Rory, "Last Week Fights, This Week Tights"

"Lesson number one - when your mom or your grandmother starts trying to pin down your specific whereabouts at a specific time and place, and she's smiling kind of weird, begin evasive maneuvers immediately."
        - Graham to Rory, "Last Week Fights, This Week Tights"

"At Lane's, two boys, one with hair. And the place, broken furniture and dirt and boys and a broken window and boys... and a tiny fridge and guitars and boys. She stood in that room with two boys."
"Mrs. Kim, you know why the boys were there? She was trying to be up front with you, and that's good. She could have hid them from you, and she didn't. I've met those boys. They're innocent. As innocent as if she was living with two girls. So think of them that way... as two tall, gawky, caring, sometimes unwashed girls who are watching out for your daughter's safety."
"Girls. Girls."
        - Mrs. Kim and Lorelai, after Mrs. Kim visits Lane, "Last Week Fights, This Week Tights"

"I'll see you...before then, but I'll see you then, too."
"Yeah, I'll see you both of those thens."
        - Luke and Lorelai, looking forward to their 'date', "Last Week Fights, This Week Tights"

"Did I lose?"
"Well, you have no head, so probably."
"So this is what teenage boys are doing instead of watching television? Seems like a lateral move."
        - Rory and Lane, playing the boys' video console, "Raincoats and Recipes"

"You gave me space? We broke up."
"I didn't look at it that way. I looked at it as a cooling-off period."
"How very revisionist of you."
        - Lorelai and Jason, "Raincoats and Recipes"

"What are you doing?"
"Will you just stand still?"
        - Lorelai and Luke, on the porch of the Dragonfly, "Raincoats and Recipes"

"He's not a married guy. He's Dean ó *my* Dean."
"He's not your Dean. He's Lindsay's Dean. You're the other woman."
"I told you, it's over."
"It's not over until he's out of the house with the ring off."
        - Rory and Lorelai, "Raincoats and Recipes"


"Are you comfortable? Am I killing your arm?"
"My arm is fine."
"I could move."
"Don't you dare move."
"This right here, is the textbook definition of a perfect moment."
        - Rory and Dean, "Say Goodbye to Daisy Miller"

"You know what I think we need? A song. Like a song that's 'our song'. Something romantic, but not mushy, something that will make us remember this... Okay. Perfect. So, from now on, no matter what you're doing, where you are, you'll stop and think of me when you hear thisó"
"That's not gonna be our song."
"Why not? It's perfect. It's happy. It's hopeful. It has the word 'candy' in it."
        - Rory and Dean, listening to "The Candy Man"

"I am going to Europe, and I'm going to have a marvelous time. I'm going to get up at 10:00, and I'm going to have two glasses of wine at lunch every single day."
"Only prostitutes have two glasses of wine at lunch!"
        - Emily and Richard

"That man is why mail-order brides were invented."
        - Michel, describing Taylor

"It was a great kiss. If one of us had been a frog, it would have had some seriously impressive consequences."
        - Lorelai

"Once you get the hang of it, it's pretty easy to duplicate...Why are you whispering?"
"Because I just think that no matter where she is, my mom can hear this conversation."
        - Rory and Lane

"What is this, a Henry James novel? The young lady acts up, and her family ships her off to Europe?"
        - Rory

"You're 19 now, remember? You're all grown up, and you can handle your own affairs. Sorry. That's a bad choice of words. You can handle your own life events."
        - Lorelai to Rory

"It's me again. I'm not sure if we're at the point in this relationship where you actually need to know that much information about my whereabouts, so if we're not, I'm sorry. I could have just said, "I'm going out of town, and I'll call you later." So I'm going out of town, and I'll call you later."
        - Luke, with a voicemail for Lorelai

"Just...don't change your mind until I get back, okay?"
        - Luke, to Lorelai

"Okay, I have got to know what was in that letter."
"I told him that that night was special and that I wasn't sorry that it happened. But he's married, and... he has to figure out his life. So I was going to make it easier for him and take myself out of the mix."
"Well, that was a very good letter."
        - Lorelai and Rory, "A Messenger, Nothing More"

"I need to know if you think I'm in love with Zach, because a dirty trollop suggested it, and they're generally reliable about these things. She said something to me and gave me this sort of knowing, worldly look that seemed to suggest I was acting in a way that said I have a thing for Zach, or she was hitting on me."
        - Lane to Rory

"This townó"
"óis our town. This town is so glamorous".
        - Luke and Lorelai, watching the parade

"She gets very British when she's abroad... and you look very innocent and pretty."
        - Lorelai, transposing Emily and Rory's trip to Europe with "A Room with a View"

"Those jeans are really working for you. They're working for me, too... That's all I can do right now. People are watching. But tonight I will give you my extremely positive views on other aspects of your being."
        - Luke, flirting in the diner with Lorelai, "Written in the Stars"

"So I'm looking at this piece of paper in my hand, and under 'Scorpio,' she had written, 'you will meet an annoying woman today. Give her coffee and she'll go away.' I gave her coffee."
        - Luke, recalling his first ever encounter with Lorelai in the diner

"Lorelai, this thing we're doing here ó me, you ó I just want you to know I'm in. I am all in."
        - Luke to Lorelai

"A very serious matter has been brought to our attention, and I would like to bring to the floor for discussion the possible negative ramifications of the inn owner and diner owner dating. Now, as you all know, the relationship we have feared for some time has emerged, and we need to carefully consider whether or not we can support this."
        - Taylor, hosting a town meeting about Luke and Lorelai

"You're back with Farmer Boy? What gives? I thought he was married... You're going to be bringing boys home now. We need a system."
"I'm not bringing 'boys' home. I'm bringing 'boy' home. That boy ó that's it."
"I mean, you look all small and squeaky, but sometimes, it's exactly the bunny-looking girls who can blow the roof off the barn. I know, just give me a three-minute warning."
        - Paris and Rory, after Rory brings Dean home, "Tippicanoe and Taylor Too"

"There's a danger here."
"The roommate thing?"
"The band thing. Need I mention the rock 'n' roll casualties from intraband dating?"
        - Lane and Rory, discussing Zach, "Tippicanoe and Taylor Too"

"If you need someone in charge of homeland security, I am your man."
        - Kirk to Jackson, after his victory, "Tippicanoe and Taylor Too"

"Actually, I've had a personal triumph of late. I've just finished the sixth and final volume of 'The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire'. I started it in 1968. So it took only, what?, 36 years to finish it. But by God, I finished it."
        - Richard, "We Got Us A Pippi Virgin"

"He's not good enough for her."
"Well, who is? Jess?"
"No, not Jess. A prince, maybe. One that's in line to be king. Not one of those waiting-for-a-brother-to-die ones, but a real one. If not a prince, someone who's gonna be good for her. You know, Rory is like Pippi. She can have adventures and be free, she's smart. The whole world's waiting for her."
        - Luke and Lorelai, "We Got Us A Pippi Virgin"

"Man, I hate those kind of guys ó those privileged, white males."
"Doyle, youíre a privileged white male."
"Well, heís more privileged. And way more whiter."
        - Doyle and Rory, "Norman Mailer, I'm Pregnant!"

"They say absence makes the heart grow fonder."
"Yeah. Sex can do that also."
        - Rory and Dean

"Youíll mess it up! Youíll mess everything up! Because every time you come back, it always ends up the same way. Momís crying and youíre not being there and I know itís not your fault, I know you donít mean it to be that way, but thatís how it is."
        - Rory, asking Christopher to stay away from Lorelai

"I've been testing people who have 'honk' bumper stickers lately to see if they really want people to honk..."
"You need a hobby."
"Yes, actually."
        - Lorelai and Emily, "You Jump, I Jump"

"I just thought up a great idea for a reality show. You pull people over who have those 'honk if you love whatever' bumper stickers, you kidnap them, and you make them do whatever the bumper sticker says they like to do, whether they do it or not."
        - Lorelai

"People can live a hundred years without really living for a minute. You climb up here with me, itís one less minute you havenít lived."
        - Logan to Rory

"I sort of implied that Iím fond of the Greeks, so I have to read the Iliad and the Odyssey so we can chat about it."
        - Luke, getting in way over his head with Richard

"If it flew, swam or crawled on this earth we just ate it."
        - Lorelai, being over-fed at a friday night dinner, "The Party's Over"

"The party is very nice, Grandma. I was just wondering, do your alumni friends have any daughters?"
        - Rory, spotting a pattern at the party

"Lesson one in coping with painfully boring parties: form a sub-party."
        - Logan to Rory

"Tell me again why you're fasting for Ramadan?"
        - Rory, trying to figure out Paris, "Emily Says Hello"

"You have boys bringing you food?"
"Yale is a magical place, Anna."
        - Anna and Rory, "But Not as Cute as Pushkin"

"I have someone standing abnormally close to me right now. I'll call you later?"
"Okay, say hi to Kirk for me."
        - Lorelai and Rory

"You ever meet anyone you actually wanted to date?"
"My bar is so not that high."
        - Paris and Doyle, not impressed with speed dating

"I dropped by to tell you that I have spoken to your father. We pounded out a few things. Property agreements, pre-nups, that sort of thing. Now, we're setting up a dinner next week to finalize the engagement and start talking about the ceremony."
        - Richard, scaring the bejeesus out of Logan after his public display in front of Rory

"I canít believe youíve never seen 'The Office'! Itís brilliant. Especially the fourth time you see it."
"What happens the fourth time you see it?"
"You can actually understand what theyíre saying."
        - Rory and Logan, getting to grips with British accents, "Come Home"

"Oh, here, I almost forgot your notes."
"Oh, I hope they helped."
"They did. Some guy tried to mug me earlier and I beat him to death with them."
        - Logan and Rory

"How the hell did you find something to buy in my boat supply catalogue?"
        - Luke, stunned by Lorelai's shopping ability, "Wedding Bell Blues"

"Is it okay if I come over tonight and work on the boat a little?"
"With what? Sheer masculinity and some imaginary sandpaper?"
       - Luke and Lorelai

"Hold on, did you say 'Cop Rock' marathon?"
"Yeah, I got 'em all on tape. Trying to figure out what you see in me?"
"Wait'll you see me in the boots."
        - Luke and Lorelai

"I'm going to go change."
"Great. Come back as Thora Birch."
        - Rory and Lorelai, getting ready for the wedding

"Who could not like being kissed by a Gilmore girl? It was the greatest day of my life."
        - Christopher, recalling his first kiss with Lorelai

"Are you ever going to ask me out? You flirt with me. You act like you like me a little. You show up here, with a friend, not a date. I mean, arenít you? Ever? You do like me, right?"
        - Rory to Logan

"You are beautiful. You are intelligent. You are incredibly interesting. Youíre definitely girlfriend material. I, however, am definitely not boyfriend material. I canít do commitment, and I donít want to pretend to you that I can."
        - Logan to Rory

"I feel like Iím kissing a guy... And apparently I had no idea what I was missing."
        - Logan to Rory in her 'Bugsy Malone' suit

"You and me, weíre done."
        - Lorelai to Emily

"There you are. I'd love to get a few more shots in."
"Yeah, so would I."
        - A photographer and Lorelai, not quite on the same page, "Say Something"

"We're fine. What is with these ribbons?"
"Pink for you, blue for Luke. Taylor's idea. That way we all know whose side we're on without having to talk to each other. He's a freak, but I like pink."
"Oh my God."
"Look out, blue incoming."
        - Lorelai and Gypsy, as Taylor's plan for a Luke-Lorelai breakup kicks in

"Not that I'm over it, but little by little it's getting easier to pretend it's easier, which means easier must be right around the corner."
        - Lorelai

"He wanted to give me his side of the story."
"Oh, well. Unless his side of the story includes having his long-lost evil twin lock him in the closet and come to the wedding in his place, his side of the story doesn't exist... You know, the more he defends himself, the more he needs to defend himself."
        - Rory and Lorelai, discussing Christopher's antics at the wedding

"Heís your boyfriend, not mine."
"That has yet to be determined."
        - Glenn and Paris, discussing Doyle

"I have to bring my own toilet paper over there because it is a third world country!"
        - Paris, not looking forward to visiting Doyle's place

Reading Is Sexy.
        - Logo on Rory's Tshirt

"I donít really want to watch 'Duck Soup' right now, Rory. I really like Duck Soup, so I really donít want to associate it with this particular night."
        - Marty, having a rough night

"It is my responsibility as your best friend to make sure you go do exciting things even when you donít want to."
        - Sookie to Lorelai, "So... Good Talk"

"If he's that important to you, I should probably, you know, meet him again, under different circumstances. Everything all buttoned and zipped."
        - Lorelai, discussing Logan with Rory

"Itís like having a perfect haircut every single day."
        - Lane, about her relationship with Zach

"I lined the path to the bedroom door with rose petals? You had to have seen that!"
"I thought you tracked them in. Youíre always stepping in things, Zach."
        - Zach and Lane

"If it was physically possible to make love to a hot beverage, this would be the one."
        - Lorelai likes mocha chocolate caramel swirls, "Pulp Friction"

"You go to the town meetings. You say hello to people. You have a daughter that looks like she belongs on top of a Christmas tree."
        - Luke, on why Lorelai is more popular than he is

"Youíre breaking up, the, the house is going through a tunnel."
        - Lorelai, ending a call to Rory

"And even if she didnít like it or even if she got mad, the worst that would happen is she would run into her room and slam the door and blast 'The Jam'."
        - Lorelai, on Rory reacted to her playing the 'Mom card'

"Your situation is no different from mine. They want more than this. Donít you see that? This town, itís all you are, and itís not enough. Sheís going to get bored, and you canít take her anywhere. Youíre here forever."
        - Dean, seeing parallels between Luke-Lorelai and Dean-Rory, "To Live and Let Diorama"

"I'm a girlfriend girl, Logan. I have boyfriends, not escorts."
        - Rory, looking for more from Logan, "But I'm A Gilmore!"

"The ducks will be fine. They're lying in a pan with their heads chopped off, so the worst part is behind them... Oh, sorry. I see we've entered the no humor zone."
        - Lorelai, trying to cope without Sookie

"Sookie's not going to be here, so let's go to plan B."
"Okay, plan B. That involves Sookie's clone, also named Sookie."
        - Lorelai and Michel

"Five years of Friday night dinners have prepared me for exactly this moment."
        - Rory prepares for dinner at the Huntzbergers

"Iím a Gilmore! Do they know that? My ancestors came over on the Mayflower! I had a coming out party! I went to Chilton, and Yale."
        - Rory, stunned by her treatment at the Huntzbergers

"Who cares why you got the opportunity? Itís here, and life is about making the most of everything youíre handed. Well, this is being handed to you. Now, what are you going to do about it?"
        - Mitchum, offering Rory an internship

"The government says you should have nine servings of fruit and vegetables per day."
"Imperialist propaganda."
        - Emily and Lorelai, "Blame Booze and Melville"

"A dollar five. Thatís my last offer."
"Do I look like E-bay?"
        - Kirk and Luke, haggling

"Howís the article? Whatís it say?"
"It was then, sadly, that I discovered Luke could not read."
        - Luke and Lorelai

"I know how to work the boss. At least a little. I know heís somewhere in the vicinity."
"Who, your dad?"
"Canít you sense it? The flurry, the shuffle of sycophants..."
        - Logan and Rory

"Sheís all checked in, breathing normally, contracting painfully. The cursing should start any time now, everythingís as it should be."
        - Lorelai, from the maternity ward with Sookie

"Iíve always done whatís asked of me."
"See, the thing is, in the real world, itís not always good enough to do just whatís asked of you... I know this is rough, but, I may have just done you a big favor."
        - Rory and Mitchum

"You know the beginning of Moby Dick, when the narrator says that when he finds himself growing grim about the mouth and wanted to knock peopleís hats off, he takes to the sea? Well I feel like knocking peopleís hats off."
"So I guess we got to take to the sea."
        - Rory and Logan, looking for a yacht

"My God, those are good genes."
        - Finn, finding out that Rory and Lorelai are related, "A House is not a Home"

"Rory never even shoplifted. Not a candy bar, not a lipstick. She forgot to return a library book once. And she was so guilty about it that she grounded herself. I mean, can you imagine? Sheís
just sitting there in her bedroom yelling at me, 'Now no one else got to read the Iliad this week because of me!'"
        - Lorelai

"Dude, you keep nagging me, Iím going to have to buy you a ring."
        - Zach to Brian

"If this relationship thing is going to work, then it goes both ways. You have to tell me why were committing a felony before we do it."
        - Logan to Rory

"According to my mother I am going to hell for this. Thatís commitment, my friends! Eternal damnation is what Iím risking for my rock and roll!"
        - Lane, trying to inspire the rest of the band


"You're going to kiss me now? So incredibly predictable."
        - Lorelai, to Luke

"I wonder how beer tastes with ice cream in it."
        - Rory, trying to be a slacker

"The code to the panic room is [whispers] one, one, one, one, one. Don't write it down, and whatever you do, don't tell the maids. They tell their children and then their children grow up and rob you."
        - Emily to Rory

"Aren't you worried that one night you're going to sleepwalk right into that pool and drown?"
"I am now."
        - Paris, alerting Rory to the dangers of pool house living

"You're pregnant? Sick? Well, I know your National Guard unit didn't get called up, so what's the story?"
        - Paris, questioning Rory about returning to Yale

"Paris. Listen to me. You are a very smart, driven young lady. You can be anything you want. Except a diplomat. You don't need Rory to push you."
"Rory's my only friend. She stays in the room until I'm completely done saying something. I need that."
        - Lorelai and Paris

"For she's a jolly good felon, for she's a jolly good felon. For she's a jolly good felon! Which nobody can deny!"
        - Logan's gang toasts Rory

"I hope we picked the right outfit here. It's coming off a little more Mennonite than I had hoped."
        - Emily dressing Rory for court

"You working at the Yale paper again?
"Yes, sir."
"Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it?"
"Not if the tree has anything to say about it."
       - Richard questions Logan

"Lorelai, you scared me half to death!"
"Yeah, well, follow-through has always been my problem."
        - Emily and Lorelai

"Hi, George. I'm just trying to think of how to ask this in a polite way. Um, are you committing some sort of crime?"
        - Lorelai returns home to find workmen everywhere

" I told Rory we were engaged."
"...Why! Why would you do that?"
"Why? Because she had the face! The Rory face! You know the face."
        - Luke and Lorelai

"There's absolutely nothing positive going on anywhere in the world. How could that be?
"That's why I don't read the paper anymore."
"You will mine. I am starting my own. The Good News Daily ó nothing but good news every day. 'No civil war in Canada', big article. 'Cars drive down road without incident', front-page news. 'Puppies', how cute are they?" In-depth exposé. And the subscription is free. How happy is that?"
        - Lorelai and Lane

"Impossible girl!"
"My native American name, I believe."
        - Richard and Lorelai

"My mom and I had been planning for my twenty-first birthday... We were going to go to Atlantic City and sit at a blackjack table at eleven fifty-nine, and we'd be playing twenty-one when I turned twenty-one. We were going to drink martinis, and win money, and go buy twenty-one things, and there was this thing including twenty-one guys that would be totally inappropriate now that I'm with you."
        - Rory, explaining her planned birthday to Logan

"What about Paris? Are you two friends? I never really could tell."
        - Emily, figuring out who to invite to Rory's party

"This tastes pink. Really pink. It's really bad; it's like drinking My Little Pony."
        - Luke tries a 'Rory' drink

"You know Rory, being a young lady comes with many gifts. Your virtue, for example, is a gift, a precious gift, possibly the most precious gift you possess. You want to give this gift very carefully. It is a gift you can only give to one man. Once you give it, it's gone. You can't re-gift it. If you give it away too soon, to the wrong man, then when the right one does come along, you will have no gift to give. You'll have to buy him a sweater."
        - The Minister to Rory

"They never invited their priest over to try and talk you out of having sex."
"Five times! And on the last one, they triple-teamed with a priest, a rabbi, and a Mormon missionary. I made so many jokes that night I should have had a microphone and a brick wall behind me."
        - Rory and Lorelai

"Oops. Evasive maneuver."
        - Rory, avoding Emily

"What about that Vito Morgenstern?"
        - Luke, imagining who could play him in a film

"Jess, you've got such a great brain. I knew that if you could just sit down and stop shaking it around you could do something like this."
        - Rory

"This isn't you! This! You going out with this jerk, with the Porsche! We made fun of guys like this."
        - Jess to Rory

"So these are soccer moms, huh? They seem very concerned with education and national security."
        - Lorelai attends a soccer game

"You are becoming more like your mother with every passing day."
"And you are becoming more like my mother's mother with every passing day!"
        - Emily and Rory

"When I wake up every morning... I am at my most visually vulnerable."
        - Lorelai

"Hey, she's small. How much room can she take up, right?"
"Did she bring her books?"
        - Lane and Lorelai, discussing Rory

"It's no longer the simple act of science being appreciated. There's got to be a twist, a gimmick. Something flashy. I figure this is perfect. Real science, DNA testing, with a flash of human drama."
        - April, explaining her science project to Like

"We've actually got a very sophisticated crime prevention system set up here. When we leave, we always keep the radio on. Rush Limbaugh, of course, so they know we have guns in the house."
        - Paris, welcoming Rory to her apartment

"It's going to be a great term, people. An important term. A term to change the history of the Yale Daily News. The work will be hard. It has to be hard. Nothing less than perfect will be tolerated. Please remember that I am your editor. I am not your mother, or your hugger. If you need some love, get a hooker. If you're having a bad day, find a ledge or way to deal. My door is not open to you, ever. You have five minutes to enjoy your cookies. Welcome to the Yale Daily News."
        - Paris gives her welcome speech as editor

"Journalism is an art form, and the best art is created under repression, like Stalin's Gulag."
        - Paris, explaining her harsh approach

"I haven't freaked out about Luke yet. Why haven't I freaked out about Luke yet? It's my pattern. It's what I do. And then I started freaking out about the fact that I hadn't freaked out."
        - Lorelai, freaking out about the wedding

"I don't want to be screaming at you at a bar. I can't take that. It's too much drama."
"Well, if you can't take the drama, then you shouldn't even be in a relationship. Which, by the way, you're not. So everything's good."
        - Logan and Rory

"I left early today and apparently that caused everyone's IQ to drop 60 points."
        - Richard, being missed at work

"I appreciate the phone call. I simply wish it had come before I called every person in the bursar's office a moron."
"Well, if it'll make you feel any better, you know, odds are at least two of them truly deserved it."
        - Richard and Lorelai

"Well, I think we've officially reinstated Friday night dinner."
        - Lorelai, after "Friday Night's Alright for Fighting"

"That secret meeting, weeks ago at the pub, where you set the putsch in motion! What happened, there wasn't a beer hall available?"
        - Paris, finding out that Rory is her replacement

"I got sixteen words that she used that I have never heard before."
        - Christopher, after hearing Rory debate

"We were only apart for like two seconds and you managed to sleep with every one of your sister's friends! How did you even do that? I mean, did you work them in shifts?"
        - Rory to Logan, "Bridesmaid Revisited"

"I moved thirty miles away from my parents for a reason! Those thirty miles act as a buffer, so that when my mother says something that makes me want to kill her, I have to drive thirty miles to do it! Ten miles in, I usually calm down or I get hungry or I pass a mall! Something prevents me from actually killing her. That buffer is my mother's best friend."
        - Lorelai, worried that her parents might move to Stars Hollow

"If it makes you feel better you can tell him that we did something."
"Thanks, Jess."
        - Jess and Rory

"Even when we're together, you're someplace else. You leave and you don't kiss me goodbye. We're at dinner and you're on your cell phone the whole time. You never leave notes anymore about where you're gonna be, so I have no idea where you are. You haven't forgiven me."
"What are you talking about?"
"For the girls I was with when we were separated."
"I said I forgive you."
"Yeah, you said it, but you haven't."
        - Logan and Rory

"You need to bring a date to the wedding and Kirk does not count! ...You have to find someone to bring you, you have to find a man."
"In one day, are you kidding me? It took me this long to find Luke."
        - Mrs. Kim to Lorelai

"An unmarried woman, alone, of a certain age, dressed the way I dress, apparently is Korean for Jenna Jameson."
        - Lorelai

"Why are we running?"
"58 seats, 62 Koreans."
        - Sookie and Lorelai

"The universal sounds of family."
        - Lorelai, overhearing Mrs. Kim arguing in Korean

"So, you have a daughter, right? That's good. You'd be, like, totally wasted on a son."
        - April to Lorelai

"They're beginning to call you Hagrid."
        - Anna, to Luke, after April's party

"What is Stars Hollow if not a haven for colorful characters?"
        - Sookie

"They're horrible! All they do is bitch, bitch, bitch. I'd have left every one of them, too."
        - Liz, realising she's made a mistake in joining a single moms support group

"So, can I get you ladies anything? Some compassion, some perspective?"
        - Luke, to the single moms group

"Can we please talk about something other than food?"
"Starvation. Scurvy. The Donner Party."
        - Emily and Lorelai, after an abortive dinner

"We thought it was time for a sit down."
"A sit down? What, did you hide a gun in the bathroom first?"
        - Richard and Lorelai

"Oh great, a matching set."
        - Logan, waking up two find Doyle and Paris as his "sentries"

"You're scaring me with your knowledge of torture."
"I had to do a paper on the Attorney General. It comes with the territory."
        - Logan and Rory

"Dad implied you were surrounded by a small army, enough to care for you and help topple Saddam."
        - Lorelai to a recovering Emily

"Your job is to figure out what she's saying from what she actually said."
        - Luke, explaining the ways of women to TJ

"Thank you for being who I want to get out of hospital for."
        - Logan to Rory

"I could hear my soul dying."
        - Logan, after a business meeting

"If you can't be happy at least you can be drunk."
        - Rory

"To the Queen!"
        - Colin and Finn, at Logan's "British" going-away party

"Tell me not to go."
"I can't do that."
        - Logan and Rory

"It's been a long time since I've seen such a blatant setup."
        - Caroline, discussing her 'date' with Christopher

"Is there a disease for being scared of a person who is scared of spiders?"
"No, I don't think there is a scientific name for it."
"How about Arachnophobia-phobia?"
        - Lorelai and Caroline

"I saw this guy in front of me who was a real man. He was solid, and he was strong. He would protect me, but he got me. I knew all these things when we started dating, but in that moment when I realized how much he cared for Rory...that was it. All of a sudden I was ready."
        - Lorelai, about Luke

"All we've done for months is talk. I want to *do*."
        - Lorelai, about her and Luke

"I don't like ultimatums."
"I don't like Mondays, but unfortunately, they come around eventually."
        - Luke and Lorelai


"It wasn't just a fight, Sookie. It was him not fighting for me. I gave him an ultimatum... and he let me walk away."
        - Lorelai, "The Long Morrow"

"That's me. I'm fast. I'm the perfect storm of caffeine and genetics."
        - Lorelai

"Do you want your kid to spend her life behind the counter at Dunkin' Donuts? Do you? ...Because that's where she's headed, selling chocolate donuts and glazed fritters for the next 40 years to people in business suits who actually gave a crap about their academic future... She's got a C average, which means she's either lazy or stupid. I can work with either. Frankly, sometimes stupid is easier. I can scare the stupid out of you, but the lazy runs deep."
        - Paris, running an "SAT Prep" course for underachievers

"I donít know, wealthy, good-looking, hedonistic heir to billion-dollar, multinational media conglomerate moves to London and spends nights pining away for his college girlfriend? Who's watching that movie?"
        - Paris, about Rory and Logan's long-distance relationship

"You need to spell it out. He's got to know where the red lines are, or he's gonna leap right over them and into bed with multiple British floozies."
        - Paris, urging Rory to lay down the law to Logan

"Does this look like a soup kitchen?"
"It's a little depressing, but noÖ"
"Pay your bill."
        - Bad mood Luke to a customer

"Couldn't sleep. And, initially, I was at a loss. How would I pass the time until my one and only offspring, the fruit of my loinsÖ Loin fruit that she is, straggled out of bed to grace me with her presence?"
        - Lorelai, explaining why Rory's getting waffles, "That's What You Get For Making Whoopee"

"Were you planning on visiting Asia or invading it?"
        - Lorelai, on Rory's extensive preparations for her Asia trip

"We are gonna make our own sushi."
"You, me, and raw fish? Is that safe?"
"...I'll let you in on a secret. The fish is really fried chicken."
        - Lorelai, bringing Asia to Rory

"Oh, cows must envy your stomach."
"Don't get me wrong ó my stomach's ready to explode. This is not a physical hunger. It's more of a spiritual hunger."
        - Rory and Lorelai, about to attempt fried ice cream

"You know what, mom? If you're heartbroken, rent 'An Affair to Remember', have a good cry, and drown your sorrows in a pint of ice cream. You get a hideously unflattering breakup haircut. You don't sleep with dad."
        - Rory, letting fly at Lorelai

"Well, live and learn. Like, now I know not to drink the water in Mexico, which, by the way, somebody should really tell you. And I learned that I'm not morally against murder. I just wish I had the guts to do it."
        - Zach, after his disastrous honeymoon to Mexico

"I can't be making mistakes when I'm a mother. I'm not the person I need to be to be able to do this. I'm not perfect yet. I'm so not perfect... Yeah. I'm scared."
        - Lane to Rory

"What do you know about string theory?"
"Don't underestimate me, Luke. I read. And I watch 'Battlestar Galactica'."
        - Luke and TJ

"Let's just stop fighting it, okay? And you go back to being Lorelai Gilmore. I'll go back to being the guy in the diner who pours your coffee."
        - Luke to Lorelai

"I don't know how they're gonna come at me... I mean It could be guilt, pity, anger, contempt. They have so many options."
        - Lorelai, bracing herself for her first post-breakup Friday Night Dinner

"Maybe their freak-outs are like some kind of compass for me, you know like, I know I'm doing what I want to do if it freaks them out. And then I thought, what if I don't want to do what I want to do because I want to do it, but because they don't want me to?"
"I mean what if I don't like what I like because I like it, but because my mother doesn't like it and doesn't want me to like it? What if I don't actually like the music that I like or the movies or the clothes or the men?"
        - Lorelai, wondering to Rory if she's just reacting against her parents, "Lorelai's First Cotillion"

"It's freeing, really. I never realized how my mother influenced my every decision, even decisions that don't seem like decisions."
        - Lorelai

"He could come in if you wanted him to. I could make myself scarce... God I forget what the protocol is when your mom is dating your dad."
        - Rory, feeling awkward around Lorelai and Chris, "S'Wonderful, S'Marvelous"

"You know, you can admit it if you're lost. I will not lose any respect for you."
"I'm not lost."
"Well, then, are you planning to murder me? Because people will notice I'm gone. They'll look for me."
        - Lorelai and Christopher, off the beaten track

"Wait. What is this? What's this car? What's going on here? Are you two on a date?"
        - Emily, after Chris and Lorelai pick her up in a convertible

"Well, naturally I thought they were referring to the Archduke. So I jumped in ó as who wouldn't ó with some thoughts about the various conspiracy theories surrounding his infamous assassination in Sarajevo. Imagine my surprise when I learned that Franz Ferdinand was the name of a very popular rock-n-roll band."
"That's what he gets for trying to fraternize after class with his students."
        - Richard and Emily, telling a Friday Night dinner story, "The Great Stink"

"I hope Gigi Picks up the language and the customs, but none of the rudeness."
        - Chris, taking Gigi to Paris, "French Twist"

"Need you help buddy, Dan Cryer's about one drink away from hitting on Jerrickson's wife."
"...I got Cryer talking golf ó disaster averted."
        - Phillip and Logan, on fire control at the cocktail party, "Introducing Lorelai Planetarium"

"Uh I hate everyone today."
"Including us?"
"Well no, not you guys, but don't cross me, sister."
        - Rory, to Olivia, after a very bad day

"I didn't even mean to be mean, and I was mean, mean and judgmental and insensitive. I really do hate everyone today, including myself. Great. The circle's complete."
        - Rory, at the end of a long day

"The redcoats are coming!"
        - Gigi, as Rory returns from London, "Santa's Secret Stuff"

"Kid took my antlers, she took my antlers and galloped away."
        - Rory, getting used to having little sister Gigi playing with her stuff

"You know what? I cannot do this. Let us just stand here and let the awkwardness wash over us."
        - Michel, abandoning an attempt at small talk with Luke

"Yeah April showed up at the diner today out of the blue."
"You make it sound like Pearl Harbor or something."
        - Luke and April, bumping into Lorelai in the mall

"I'm sick of being treated like I'm not a person, like I'm some incubator whose puffy ankles and varicose veins and bathroom habits are up for discussion... I'm sick of being told what to eat and what I shouldn't and what side I should sleep on... It was such a small window... For years, I was this repressed kid, and then there was the briefest of windows. And then ó slam! All of a sudden, I'm this overburdened mother. I barely got to do it, Zach. I barely got the chance to be a person."
        - Lane, inundated with pregnancy advice

"Honestly someone with your chipper personality ought to be a weather girl or a preschool teacher."
        - Emily, ungenerously describing a friendly nurse, "I'd Rather Be In Philadelphia"

"What happened to all the competent people? That's what I'd like to know. Was there some giant hole they all fell into or a virus that struck them all down, leaving the morons of the world to sit behind the desks?"
        - Emily, in the hospital

"So I tell Paris, 'I don't care if it would theoretically increase my chances of getting a grant to study in Russia. I am not willing to pretend to be an accomplished rhythmic gymnast'."
        - Rory, with an anecdote for Logan

"He's a really good teacher, which isn't always a given, you know. I mean some smart people can't translate their smarts to other people, but he is really good at explaining things, and he makes you want to learn more."
        - Rory, recalling Richard's lessons

"You're not his secretary. You're his wife."
"Yes and what do you know about being a wife? You've been married for what ó 40 days? That's nothing. Your father and I have been married for over 40 years. For 2/3 of my life, I have been the wife of Richard Gilmore. I run his household. I plan his meals. I buy his clothes, entertain his business associates. When he loses his reading glasses, I find them. When he wants a nightcap. I make it for him. If he can't remember the name of a colleague's wife, I whisper it in his ear. That's what I do ó I take care of him. That's my job. That's who I am. If I could be performing his surgery right now, I would be, but I can't ó it's out of my hands. It's out of my hands, and there's nothing I can do but wait. I could lose him, Lorelai. He's my whole life, and there's nothing I can do!"
        - Lorelai and Emily, in the hospital

"Logan Huntzberger? Between the women and the drinking, that kid was on the Colin Farrell freeway about to pull over into the Robert Downey jr. Rest stop... He's changed. You changed him. It's amazing."
        - Paris to Rory, "Farewell My Pet"

"Talk to me. How are you feeling?"
"Oh, good. Fine. Medium. You know, rare ó medium rare. Rare."
        - Rory and Lorelai, on the Christopher situation

"I apologize that my loss has come at an inopportune time for you. I will try to schedule the next death when it is more convenient."
        - Michel, upset that people aren't taking his "dog funeral" more seriously

"You've always been this possibility for me. This wonderful possibility. But it's just not right. And I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry... I need you to know that you're the man I want to want."
        - Lorelai to Christopher

"Birthdays aren't a very big deal in the Huntzberger family. Because birthdays aren't something you achieve. Why should you be lauded for something that just happens?"
        - Logan, "I'm A Kayak, Hear Me Roar"

"Your father is running low on his blood thinners, and the pharmacy can't be bothered to deliver."
"Are you calling to ask me if I will pick up dadís prescription?"
"Well, I can't leave the house, or chaos will ensue."
"You're calling to imply that you would like to ask me to pick up dadís prescription?"
        - Emily and Lorelai

"Would you like a drink?"
"Mmm, I thought the house was dry."
"Vodka or scotch?"
"Wow, itís a regular speakeasy."
        - Emily and Lorelai

"It's after 12:00. Is anyone alive in there?"
"I'm alive, but I think my brain is dead."
        - Rory to a hungover Logan, "Will You Be My Lorelai Gilmore?"

"There are fights you can recover from and fights you can't, and not going to your daughter's baby shower ó I mean, I know it's hard, but I don't want you to draw a line in the sand now that you can't cross later. My mother missed so much. I don't want that to happen to you."
        - Lorelai to Mrs Kim

"We had to write a five-page fictional story featuring someone we know as the hero, and I chose Kirk. It's hilarious."
        - April to Luke

"I just want to sell my boat."
"...I thought youíd take it to your grave with you, maybe youíd row yourself across the River Styx."
        - Kirk

"The juice from the pickles has leached over to the grilled cheese, rendering it sodden and inedible... Prior to serving the dish, Lane would use the French fries to build a tiny damÖ"
        - Kirk, instructing Zach on how to serve up lunch in the diner, "Gilmore Girls Only"

"I'm sorry. I really don't enjoy talking this early in the morning."
        - Luke to Zach, opening the diner

"Taylor, what the hell are you doing? ...Why is there a giant wall of hay right in front of my diner?!"
        - Luke, understandably upset, "Hay Bale Maze"

"Oh, Stars Hollow is better than Colonial Williamsburg."
        - Logan, watching a Luke-Taylor bustup

"I wasn't sure to what extent I should factor you in."
"Well, I want you to know I don't want you to factor me in... I'm not sure exactly what I'm gonna be doing next... I know I want to start working, but I think you should do what you want to do, and then -- and then maybe I'll factor you in."
        - Rory and Logan, discussing the future

"I was just getting used to the fact I had a daughter. Now all of a sudden, I have a teenager. Itís wild. Time just goes by."
        - Luke, about April

"Hey, if you find out why we broke up, let me know".
        - Doyle to Rory, after an incomprehensible fight with Paris, "Just Like Riding A Bike"

"It's inappropriate for my best friend to be living alone with my ex-boyfriend."
        - Paris, about Doyle and Rory

"I love you, Paris Geller. You are the strongest, most infuriating, most exciting woman I have ever met in my entire life, and there is no way I'm gonna let you go."
        - Doyle to Paris

"Clearly something came up when I sang that song. But I don't know if it was a new, now feeling or the residue of an old feeling that came up because of the drinks and the lyrics and the hat. So thatís why I'm going to the diner today -- to see how I feel, sober and without the lyrics of 'I will always love you' streaming in front of me."
        - Lorelai, with Sookie, trying to figure out her feelings for Luke, "Unto The Breach"

"After everything you've done for meó"
"I'm not gonna not pay." 
"After everything T.J.ís put you through?"
"Thatís very nice of you."

        - Luke, accepting Liz's gift

"I've given you the don't drink to excess speech, right?"
"Well if you haven't, you've certainly taught me by example."

        - Lorelai and Rory

"I'm excited, sad, and nostalgic. Terrified."
        - Lorelai, as Rory decides her future

"Remember when we were in the Life And Death Brigade and we stood on top of that tower, and we held hands and we jumped? Letís do that again, Rory. Letís jump."
        - Logan to Rory

"Mom, you've given me everything I need."
        - Rory to Lorelai on the series finale "Bon Voyage"

"I just want to see you happy."
        - Luke to Lorelai

Between Lorelai and Rory, weíve been treated all season to the sight of two women putting up with petulant, selfish, unacceptable behavior from the rich, spoiled men in their lives. Wow, what a great turn of events for a show that was originally supposed to be about two spunky, independent women making their way in the world with love and support from each other and their extended network of quirky friends. This season of Gilmore Girls has just trashed that legacy. The sad fact is, I no longer care if Luke and Lorelai get back together. I just want this whole thing to be over.
        - Maureen Ryan, on season 7 of the show, "Chicago Tribune"


"I feel so rich and suddenly in complete agreement with everything Bush has to say."
        - Lorelai after receiving a check for $75,000

"So, I think Iím in touch with the other side."
"The other side of..."
"The other side."
"With Republicans?"
"No. Lately Iíve been having these dark premonitions."
        - Lorelai explains her dark premonitions to Rory

"There are times in your life when you have to do ridiculous things for money."
        - Lorelai passes on some wisdom to Rory

"Do not eat chips out of a communal bowl. You might as well stick your hand in a toilet. If you're desperate, offer to be the person who replenishes them with new bags and grab a handful out of the new bag and dump the rest in the communal bowl."
        - Lorelai offers some pre-party advice to Rory

"Rory, my heart. It is Saturday, the day of rest."
"Sundayís the day of rest."
"No, Saturday is the day of pre-rest."
"Yeah, so that way when you actually get to Sunday youíre rested enough to enjoy your rest."
        - Lorelai, to Rory, trying to stay in bed

"What was with those kids? So curious, so full of questions. Shouldnít their brains be completely fried on TV and video games by now?"
        - Lorelai, exasperated by a Q&A at Stars Hollow High


"Is there a problem?"
"Nothing Shakespeare couldn't turn into a really good play."
        - Lorelai, exasperated by her mother

"Rory, your grandfather and I thought it might be nice after dinner for you to go around the house and pick out what you'd like us to leave you in our wills... You should have what you like. So look around and when you see something you like stick a Post-It on it."
        - Emily & Richard make plans for the future

"You canít even let Rory have one piece of our lives, even if itís her choice."
        - Emily to Lorelai, as Lorelai freaks out about Rory applying to Yale

"Itís from my mother."
"What is it?"
"Itís heavy. Must be her hopes and dreams for me."
"I thought she discarded those years ago."
        - Lorelai and Rory get a delivery from Emily

"Honestly, Lorelai. It's not your looks that keep them away. Think about that."
        - Emily, as Lorelai doesn't bring a date to a function


"How is my running with you gonna change anything?"
"Because people think youíre nice. Youíre quiet, you say excuse me, you look like little birds help you get dressed in the morning. People donít fear you."
        - Rory and Paris, as Paris seeks a vice president, "I Can't Get Started"

"What do you mean what? He just asked you out on a date."
"He did?"
"Did I accept?"
        - Rory fills Paris in on what just happened

"I canít date. Iím not genetically set up for it."
        - Paris gets nervous before her date

"If I go there it's going to look like I went there just to be with him. Suddenly I'm Felicity without the hair issues and I'm not terribly comfortable with that."
        - Paris on why she doesn't want to follow her boyfriend to Princeton

"By the way, you know I ultimately do all these things for the good of mankind, right? Sometimes I donít think I come off that way."
        - Paris desperately needs some volunteer work for her college application

"You don't want to go. You don't, it's not you."
"I have multiple personalities. It might be one of me."
        - Paris attempts to dissuade Rory from some extra credit activities, "Hammers and Veils"

"Marry rich."
        - Paris retorts to Louise, "Hammers and Veils"

"Iím sorry, have I ever been mistaken for a patient person?"
        - Paris is not one for small talk, "I Can't Get Started"

"I know I'm not the first one to say it to you, but you're insane."
"Okay, look, I know you and me, we..."
"Shouldn't be around each other armed."
        - Rory and Paris

"I think she periodically makes a whirring noise and then just shuts down."
        - Rory, discussing Paris's sleeping habits

"We've been sitting here for an hour and have sold eight tickets... Unbutton your top. Teenage boys are controlled by one thing. Unbutton your top."
"Well, me doing it isn't going to help any."
"Paris, you need to relax. You need to stop worrying. You need to stop obsessing. You need to stop looking at my boobs."
        - Paris and Lorelai try to sell some grad night tickets

"Uh, what are you doing?"
"I'm giving you a hug... Just give into it, baby. Come on, you can do it. That a girl. Unclench the fists, Paris. Unclench the fists. Yeah, there you go."
        - Paris and Lorelai bond

"How was I supposed to know you were gonna jump out of your seat like a maniac?"
"You know me. You room with me. You should have known."
        - Rory and Paris, "Girls in Bikinis, Boys Doing the Twist"

"This is the kind of cold you read about in a Dickens novel. We should be in a workhouse or shilling for Fagin... It's been the coldest winter in the history of winter."
        - Paris, "Girls in Bikinis, Boys Doing the Twist"

"Don't drink. And after you're done not drinking, drink tons of water and take two aspirin before you go to bed. And take Paris with you everywhere. Not much can happen with that girl along."
        - Lorelai's advice to Rory before spring break, "Girls in Bikinis, Boys Doing the Twist"

"That was subtle."
"What are you talking about?"
"The Joanie loves Chachi moment."
"He said 'hey'. I said 'hey' back. I was being polite."
"In Burma, you'd be married...or brutally killed."
        - Rory makes the mistake of 'heying' a cute guy in front of Paris, "Girls in Bikinis..."

"Come on... go. Flirting seems to be a very big part of this spring break ritual, and I'm taken. I can't flirt. I have to live vicariously through you."
        - Paris orders Rory to flirt with the cute guy, "Girls in Bikinis..."

"Look around. Every single person in this place is having a better time than we are. Why? I mean, we've been doing everything everybody else is."
        - Paris, not getting into spring break, "Girls in Bikinis..."

"Paris, you're not yelling at me, you're yelling at the world."
"I'm not yelling at all. This is the natural register of my voice."
        - Terrence, giving Paris some 'life coaching'

"When Paris is happy the whole world is happy, but when she's not happy, the whole world is 'Deadwood'."
        - Rory, describing Paris's moods to Logan

"What's with the big jar of disgusting insects?"
"Oh. They're fruit flies. I'm finishing an important paper on population genetics and I have to monitor how often Drosophila melanogaster do the nasty."
"Complain to God, not me."
        - Rory and Paris

"So, I downloaded your reading lists, and I went to the bookstore and hid copies of your books so you wouldn't get stuck buying used ones with some idiot's comments in the margins."
        - Paris, updating Rory after her absence


"I'm running out of French curse-words that they won't understand."
        - Michel is exasperated by a wedding party

"The one on the left is Matt. The one on the right is Mark... I'm very good at observing people, you know, learning the tics and traits, sound of their voices. It's a gift."
"That one has a Post-It on its back."
"Oh, well, then that's Mark. The one on the right is Matt."
        - Michel explains how he distinguishes identical twins to Sookie

"After working six hours longer than I usually work and performing tasks I despise and am ashamed of, and now I am going home to wash off the stench of this horrifying day."
        - Michel, to Lorelai, "I Can't Get Started"

"Hey, how is it out there?"
"It is cold and gray like a fat dead pigeon."
        - Lorelai makes the mistake of asking Michel about weather, "Love and War and Snow"

"He shouldíve just driven it out on a monster truck. Heís shamelessly catering to his demographic."
        - Sookie is not impressed Jackson presents his deep fried turkey to the guys

"Oh no! It just figures that the only Korean boy at this party has his Korean girl radar turned on."
        - Lane, wishing she was somewhere else

"Heís jealous. Oh my God, heís jealous, thatís so great! ...Iíve never made a guy jealous before. I feel so powerful."
"Just remember, thereís cute jealous and thereís Othello."
        - Lane and Rory discuss Lane's womanly wiles

"That is not Dave Rygalski. I mean, not the one that Iím in a band with. That is Dave Rygalski, local Christian guitar player that my mom and I met very briefly and innocently at the dance marathon, and that I coincidentally ran across again when I found his ad seeking Christian guitar accompaniment gigs up on our church bulletin board. I even put the fake ad up at church and pretended to find it with my mom next to me."
"So, are you guys dating?"
"Weíre laying the groundwork."
        - Lane and Lorelai, "A Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving"

"Watch it. You break it, you buy it. Ten percent off for cousins, twenty percent off for nephews and nieces."
       - Mrs. Kim hosts family Thanksgiving, "A Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving"

"I know you have very strict rules about dating and boys, but I just want you to know that I'm a good person. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I've never gotten a ticket, I'm healthy, I take care of myself, I floss. I never watch more than 30 minutes of television a night partly because I think it's a waste of time and partly because there's nothing on. I respect my parents, I do well in school, I never play video games in case they do someday prove that playing them can turn you into a serial killer. I don't drink coffee. I hate soda because the carbonation freaks me out. I'm happy to give up meat if you feel strongly about it. I don't mind wearing a tie. I enjoy playing those hymns on my guitar, and I really, really want to take your daughter to the prom."
        - Dave, giving his best shot to Mrs. Kim

"How are his friends?"
"Yes. Is there spin-off potential?"
        - Madeline and Louise try to get the lowdown on Jamie from Rory

"By the way, I think you might be the prettiest girl Iíve ever seen."
        - Kirk, trying to ask Lorelai out

"Itís been four hours. Go home."
"Itís boring at home. My TVís broken."
"So do something else."
"Like what?"
"Read a book."
"What book?
"Any book."
"Iím gonna need a suggestion."
"Moby Dick.
"Thatís about the whale?"
"No. What else?"
"Forget it, just sit there."
        - Jess tries and fails to get Kirk to leave the diner

"Ladies, gentlemen, honored guests. Who owns the silver Volvo because youíre blocking me in?"
        - Kirk politely tries to escape from Sookie's wedding rehearsal, "I Can't Get Started"

"I come to announce to one and all that the day we all thought would never get here has arrived."
"The Day of Reckoning?"
        - Taylor and Kirk, being Taylor and Kirk


"Up until her freshman year in college, every boy Rory met fell in love with her."
       - Zap2It.Com's TV Gal reviews the show

"Mothers and daughters. They speak so fast, but they speak so true."
        - Turk on Scrubs, discussing "The Gilmore Girls"

"I am so mad at Lorelai, I can't even talk right now."
        - J.D. on "Scrubs"

"This is my number, if you ever feel like coffee or a basketball game or something. And if you could give a copy of this to the girl who plays the kid on your show, too?"
        - Matt to Lauren Graham on "Studio 60"

What a cast: ...Alexis Bledel with her perfect little heart-shaped face.
        - David Edelstein, reviewing film "Sin City" starring Rory\Alexis for "MSN Slate"

"It's not a woman you need, it's a good night's sleep. You couldn't handle a woman in the state you're in."
        - Becky (played by Alexis Bledel), in "Sin City"

"You're running out of valley, cowboy."
        - Becky (played by Alexis Bledel), in "Sin City"

"Aw, sugar, you just gone and done the dumbest thing in your whole life."
        - Becky (played by Alexis Bledel), in "Sin City"

>> Quotes from other Teen shows

>> Return to Quotes index, or Site homepage.