The articles page(for the more refined person).
HHH's right and left buttock: Compare and contrast.
In many ways HHH's right buttock is much like his left one.
They inhabit the same general area of his anatomy (the ass).
To the untrained eye they look very much alike, the same general size and colour.
They are well toned and rather firm
(or so I have heard).
They were born to the same person. Both are coveted by many for
obvious reasons. And both are kept in a plastic pant.
And therein lies the inherent difference between the two buttocks.
There is really a difference of personality between the two buttocks.
This could stem from a need to be different and to establish their
own personalities due to the identicallityness.
The left buttock is much more shy. It just prefers to keep to itself
within the confines of the plastic pant and let it's partner do the speaking.
Not much is known about the "silent buttock" but it is thought to be highly
intelligent and politisised. It is thought to be rather active in the
theatre (in a veiled fashion). The left buttock is a very private
character so this is merely speculation.
On the other hand (or cheek), however, the right buttock is a much more
flamboyant character. It simply hates the confines of the plastic
pant. It is a handsome, firm and proud buttock. It loves the
attention of the rabid crowd. If you watch carefully you will
notice that the right buttock escapes the restrictive pant at the
first available opportunity. As much as he tries HHH can never manage
to contain his defiant right buttock.
At this point it must be asked: Which is the 'evil' buttock?
Well, the answer all depends on your preference, buttockwise,
whether you enjoy seeing the flamboyant, extroverted right buttock
or it's silent, mysterious partner. It's your own choice.
As long as those buttocks remain tanned, toned and akimbo
I will be watching them. Wahey!
Written by Leanne.
Vince McMahon's rise to power(in a sexual way)
To be read in the"VH1: behind the music" fashion.
To begin this article I would like to say that Vince McMahon
shouldn't be rising to anything at his age, especially in a sexual way.
I choose to believe that Vince McMahon sleot his way to thetop of the WWF and
this is how he "came" to power.
Vince McMahon began his career as a lowly commentator, much like todays Micheal Cole.
The owner of the WWF at the time was Gorilla Monsoon and the prevelant commentator
at the time was "mean gene"(not simmons). Vince McMahon, although a lowly commentator,
was scheming, maniacle and a tad power mad(muck like Salem).
To facilitate his "rise" to power, and to feed his ever growing need for
control, anal sex and sexual acceptance among his co-workers he turned to
whoorin' himself backstage at the gigs, both for his own sexual pleasure
and to relieve the sexual tension of his co-workers(who were pretty damn
tense because of all the young, muscley, sweaty men in tiny tights groping
each other)
The two of the most prominent and perhaps the most powerful men in the WWF,
"Mean Gene" and Gorilla Monsoon were perhaps the most frequent of all Vinces
"clients" in the duration of his career as a "rent boy"(for indeed in those
days he was a boy).
During this long and profitable career he often served as a "double adaptor"
between "Mean Gene" and Gorilla Monsoon, as neither of them wished to be
implicated in a sexual manner with each other, therefore they had sex
vicariously through Vince(literally).
It was during this time that he learned many valuable and incriminating secrets
of both Mean and Gorilla.
We must not forget that during this time Vince was earning a substantial amount
of money both as a commentator and a man whooorrrrrrrrre.
by careful investment and playing the stockmarket, Vince managed
to aquire a "not to be sneezed at" amount of shares an the WWF.
He now not only had trade secrets and sexual power over the main owners,
he was almost a partner.
This was a very dangerous combination indeed!
Vince now began to group his powers in a culminative climax of destruction,
shame and general 'splosions.
Threatening to reveal the many incriminating secrets learned about the WWF
over the years, he forced Mean and Gorilla to hand over their ownership to him.
This led to Vince having total control over the WWF and in turn to everything
bad that has ever happened.
THE END
Written by Marion
Men in G-strings: Sexy or sad?
Oh, the nights I have lay awake pondering this all important topic.
Sexy or sad? Firstly, it must be said that there is a fine line
between sexy and sad. Mostly. Other times there is an
uncomprehensivly large gulf. This is the case with the archetype
german holidaymaker. Approximatly 21 stone and 5'6".
Bald headed yet much too hairy, bodily. And, most irritatingly,
german. Normally there is nothing more frightening or hurl
provoking as the thought of this man. Take away the clothes and add
a g-string and you may never be able to eat, sleep or indeed procreate.
Yes, it is, to say the very least, sad.
But on the other hand you have wrestlers. Sexy, sexy wrestlers.
Take as your example that awe inspiring picture of HHH and
Shawn Michaels in festive g-strings. I care not about your
likes, dislikes, politics or sexual orientation-THIS IS DAMN SEXY!
How the manage to do so much with so little is a wonder of modern
mechanics/seamstressy. You can in no way tell me that were this
scene presented to you you would not try to bite HHH's ass.
I defy you.
M'colleague has suggested a way of controlling the availability of
g-strings as it is clearly a vast problem. As a start they shall not
be sold in Germany. There is something inherently wrong with a country
of people who think David Hasselhoff is talented. A test must be taken
by g-string wearer hopefuls. Some factors to be taken into consideration:
As aforementioned no germans, buttocks must be of an acceptable nature,
if you can pull off a g-string you will know, no old people (with the
possible exception of Paul Stanley), anal health is necessary-there will
be inspections, g-strings must be a tasteful colour- no pink,
a generous bulge is required- general crotchal largeness and bulginess
is desired, g-strings are not to be worn with socks- neither within the
g-string or on the feet and an acceptable body is also required.
These conditions and more will be taken into consideration when the
"G-string licence" test is taken. Such is our vision.
To conclude it must be said that g-strings all depend on the wearer.
Sadly there are very few men who can pull g-stings off (wahey!)
If you are one of the billions who can't I, in fact, We- the women of the world
urge you not to try. If you are Billy Gunn- long may your ass and crotchal
giftednessitude continue. I salute you!!!
Written by Leanne
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