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Here is a varied selection of wedding one-liners, some of which you may wish to use. If you have any others you think would add to this page, please submit them to us and we will credit you with the contribution. Submit A One-liner All perfect marriages are made up of couples who accept the fact that they have an imperfect marriage. No one in love is free, or wants to be. Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would have really preferred. A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. Helen Rowland An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. Agatha Christie Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable. Oscar Wilde Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot. Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. Dear {bride}, Isn't it funny how history repeats itself? {Age of bride} years ago your mum and dad were putting you to bed with a dummy - and now it's happening all over again! I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. David Bissonette Marriages are made in heaven. So are thunder and lightning. The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders. Linda Festa Romance should never begin with sentiment. It should begin with science and end with a settlement. Oscar Wilde Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same. She's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one. Oscar Levant to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancé Jokes    Toasts