Monologue


A really funny and enjoyable monologue by Diane Elizabeth Englot.
I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did


TWAS 4 MONTHS BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
or Account of a Visit from the Irish Tenors by Diane Elizabeth Englot (with deepest apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)


'Twas 4 months before Christmas, when all through the land
All the Onelists were stirring, it was quite out of hand!
The mood was euphoric...electric the air
For they heard that their Boyos soon would be there!

The Lassies were nestled all snug by their screens
While visions of Irishmen danced in their dreams.
"Some concerts for Christmas!" they cried in their glee
"I'm going to one, maybe two, why not three!"

When in Providence town there arose such a clatter
I logged on to the Web to see what was the matter.
Away to the venue I flew like a flash
And to the box office telephone number did dash.

So, my ticket secured, that night I slept well
And dreamed a sweet dream, as if under a spell.
When what to my dreaming eyes should appear
But a tour bus, by God, carrying 4 darlin' dears!

With a little ol' driver, so kind and so sweet
I knew in a moment it couldn't be Pete!
Out of his bus, with their luggage they came
And he whistled and shouted, and called them by name...

"Now Ronan! Now Anthony! Now Frank! and now Finbar!
Come here with your bags and get into this car!
To the venue we go, to the concert hall
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly
They were gone in an instant, all waving "Bye-Bye!"
And I thought they were gone and was sad it would end
But remember, this is a sweet dream, my friend!

And then, in a twinkling, I was at a Meet and Greet
And I heard right behind me, 6 precious feet.
As I lifted my head and was turning around,
'Cross the room Irish Tenors came with a bound.

Anthony was first, as he is in my heart
Looking handsome as ever, a real work of art.
In a suit, and a tie made of silk he was dressed
And he looked like a dream, like a vision no less!

His eyes - how they twinkled! His dimples - oh Mama!
His cheeks were like roses, to add to the drama.
His cute little mouth was drawn up like a bow
And his beautiful smile was as white as the snow.

Ronan came next and with a tug on his vest,
He looked very happy to be here with the rest.
He had a broad face and a beautiful belly
That shook when he laughed like a small bowl of jelly.

Just a tad plump, like a big handsome elf
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.
He winked with his eye and said with some laughter,
"Ah now, my lassie, 'tis Finbar you're after?"

Fin spoke not a word, but came straight to my side
And set me to tingling, my heart a wild ride!
His arm wrapped around me, his voice in my ear,
He said, "We all love the Onelisters, my dear.

We're happy to be here, we're happy to sing.
You make it worthwhile, a wonderful thing."
And they nodded together and smiled Irish smiles
And assured me, to see us they'd travel for miles.

I told them we love them, for I knew they must go
Back to Ireland until they return with the snow.
But I heard them exclaim, ere they drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, see you soon and good night!"

 

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