When the news is bad what do you say?
After the Dunblane tragedy in Scotland
when a gunman shot 14 children and their teacher and then killed himself
a journalist was getting a ride in a taxi.
On the radio came a 'theologian' a clergyman,
quite a good communicator, who attempted to explain
why God's part in such a terrible things.
The taxi driver listened a little and then reached over and switched it off.
'We don't need that.' he said.
Not that the clergyman was shallow or confused or saying something wrong;
the taxi driver was expressing the feeling that
words were simply not appropriate for such pain.
Maybe the old Irish paradox does fit:
'Whatever you say, say nothing.'
How should we react when the news is appalling?
We have two main reactions in Job c2
from Job's wife and Job's friends.
But remember first Job's own reaction in c 1.
Faced with the loss of all he holds dear, wealth and children
he doesn't react with resignation :'It's just one of those things'
he doesn't react with resentment; 'God, how could you when I am so good?'
he responds with realistic worship
'The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away.
May the name of the Lord be praised.'
For Job is not worshipping God for what he can get from him
but for who God is in himself, in whatever state Job may find himself.
And this continues even when things get worse for Job,
as if they could get much worse.
Satan has been frustrated because of Job's faith
so he challenges again
on the basis that if Job loses health as well as wealth and family
he will finally curse God and reject him
4 "Skin for skin!" Satan replied. "A man will give all he has for his own life.
5 But stretch out your hand and strike his flesh and bones,
and he will surely curse you to your face."
6 The LORD said to Satan,
"Very well, then, he is in your hands; but you must spare his life."
7 So Satan went out from the presence of the LORD and afflicted Job
with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the top of his head.
Of course no sickness or pain is pleasant
but there is a double suffering in an illness like Job's:
his sores were not only painful, they were disfiguring.
Ask teenagers about acne, how it feels
it may not be that physically painful but there is an emotional cost
(I know, I had a bad dose of it.)
What Job suffered was much much worse than the worst type of acne
Look at him scraping himself with a piece of broken pottery
as he sits among the ashes.
Isolated, unclean, degraded ...
What would you say to such a man in such a state?
First up to attend to him is his wife
but her advice brings no comfort -
perhaps she was only expressing her own anger at their loss
and her own inability to cope with Job's disfiguring disease.
9 "Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!"
Are there any darker words in the Bible?
This is nothing less than spiritual suicide, the giving way to despair;
the temptation to reject God and give up
Job's reply is remarkable in all the circumstances
He does not say directly that she is a foolish wayward woman.
He suggests to her that she is like such a person
and he continues in the faith he showed in c 1
'"You are talking like a foolish woman. (a wayward woman)
Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?"
In all this, Job did not sin in what he said.
Perhaps we should not condemn Job's wife too much.
She has suffered so much herself
but we need to understand that her way out is no way out.
To curse God, to reject him, as many do in their suffering
may seem to remove God, but it doesn't remove the suffering.
No God, no end of suffering, no possibility of hope:
that is to talk and think like a foolish wayward person
Let's look at how Job's friends handle the situation.
Next week we may see how when they speak they fail big time
but at this point their silence truly is golden and an example to us.
They met together by agreement
to go and sympathise with him and comfort him.
Possibly they each felt personally inadequate to help so they get together
to strengthen each other, not a bad plan when there is a tough task ahead
And their initial grief for him is rightly expressed in the custom of the time
weeping aloud, tearing their robes, sprinkling dust on their heads
and sitting on the ground with him in silence for a long period of time.
These things are part of a culture
which knows how to express grief and true sympathy.
With all the advances of modern society
have we not lost much of the knowledge of how to grieve and help the grieving?
We may be better in many areas of life than previous generations:
less snobbish, better educated, less credulous, much quicker communicators
but do we know how to grieve as well as our predecessors?
Do we know how to sit with those who grieve?
Do we know what to say or indeed what not to say
and how to be comfortable with saying nothing?
When I read death notices in the papers two phrases disturb me
One is 'House Private' the other often going with it is 'No Letters Please'
Although it can be a nuisance that people call to the house in great numbers
and a burden if they stay too long
it is a healing and a helpful thing to have people near you when you grieve.
And even though you may not feel you can reply to a lot of letters
it is good for other people
to be able to write their thoughts about a person who has died
and probably good for you to read their notes of concern.
It is all part of the necessary process of grieving.
In a changing society are we losing that art of wise care for each other?
The main problem is that unlike Job's friends at this point
and all too much like them later on,
we talk too much.
We meet someone in great grief
and we feel we have to say something
rather than actually having something to say.
although what we really hope is that if we say something
we can cover up our own sense of inadequacy.
I cam across recently two bible passages which commend silence:
Ecclesiastes 5.1-3 p 671
'Guard your steps when you got to the house of God
Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools
who do not know that they do wrong.
Do not be quick with your mouth,
do not be hasty in your heart
to offer anything before God.
Go is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few.
As a dream comes when there are many cares
so a speech of a fool when there are many words.'
And James 1.19 '... everyone should be quick to listen,
slow to speak and slow to become angry
for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.'
Ecclesiastes here talks mainly about the importance of listening to God.
James is probably urging us to be good listeners
in all our relationships with God and with others
The principle is the same in whatever relationship,
and especially in times of crisis.
Are we close enough to God and willing to hear him in silence
rather than fill the void with a lot of words?
Are we willing to trust that God can speak and really direct us
when we should speak and when we should be quiet?
Sometimes all that is required of us is that we are there for people in trouble
They don't need to hear our answers so often full of pious phrases
and our own anger and anxiety that makes us moralise and dogmatise
in the pious and unhelpful way Job's friends do later on
People scraping their sores need our presence, they need our prayers
and maybe in God's time they will ask questions that we can try to answer
or they will listen as we point them to the true comfort that is in Jesus Christ
but may God grant us the ability to be as ready to listen as we usually are to talk.
May the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ
the Father of compassion and God of all comfort
comfort you in all your troubles
so that you can comfort those in any trouble
with the comfort you have received from God
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