You can easily see how these two covenant commitments are both similar and different similar in that they are one way, irreversible agreements like the turnstile into a football ground - you cannot go back in that they are about relationship and growth, not just a formal legal contract and earthly marriage is a picture, (as scripture often shows) of God’s tender, intimate relationship with us as his beloved people

There is one big difference, however: Earthly marriages break up but God will not rupture the covenant he has made in Jesus Christ. Marriages also are not for every person - To be single without sexual experience is honoured by God but of course God’s covenant love in Christ may be known by every sort of person, married or unmarried. Some may feel they are ‘on the shelf’ as regards human happiness but there is no shelf where God’s love may not reach.

But marriage is more seriously under question than ever. We live in times when weddings are big business and it seems that the flashier they are the quicker they fall apart. with separations, break-ups, re marriages and people living together, thinking marriage to be more a bind than a bond.

This is a very sensitive matter for all of us so let’s pray as we go through Matthew 19. 1-11 that we will not get bogged down in unnecessary detail and hear what Christ would say to us today by his Spirit both to challenge and console. 1 Marriage is God’s best plan for a man and a woman together Jesus is asked about divorce v 3 ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?’ but he insists first on talking about marriage! He brings his questioners back to God’s word in Genesis to the creation blue print the basic difference between male and female (as the French say ‘Long live the difference!’) ‘at the beginning the Creator made them male and female’ and the provision for new family units to begin based on marriage ‘a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate.’ That is the bottom line. As the Presbyterian marriage service says: ‘Human society can be happy and healthy only where the marriage bond is held in honour.’ A woman fellow from Oxford was interviewed on BBC Radio some years ago about her role in advocating liberal divorce in Britain in the 1960’s. She said, 20 years later, she had met so many students from broken marriages, and hearing what they had suffered by divorce that she was not now so sure that their liberal approach had been right. Jesus knew well that to make divorce easy would not make life easy. When the Pharisees were asking ‘What can we get away with? How easy can divorce be?’ Jesus insisted on digging deeper into God’s original intention and ideal. An ideal which can be a reality: life long unity and faithfulness between a man and a woman reflecting the way it is supposed to be between God and us.

1 Marriage is God’s best plan for a man and a woman together 2 Divorce should be treated like war, sometimes necessary, always evil Situations do arise when this life-long covenant is violated through unfaithfulness of some kind and the best option is divorce. Jesus seems to recognise this in v 9 where he condemns divorce ‘except in cases of marital unfaithfulness.’ This was a protection for women in that 1st Century culture where they were still regarded as the property of their husbands able to be discarded almost at a whim as if changing your marriage partner was just a matter of moving house or getting a new car. A woman divorced by her husband then was under a dreadful stigma; she was ‘damaged goods’, a second hand person and could so easily end up selling her body in order to survive. But we should not take these few words of the Lord answering the negative questioning of the Pharisees as conclusive for all cases of marriage breakdown. If someone is a battered wife (or husband) that may not strictly qualify as ‘marital unfaithfulness’ and yet be a case for considering the marriage ended. If someone has been deserted for years their case may not strictly fit the examples which we have in the Bible and yet be reasonable grounds for divorce.

We have the same problem with other teachings of Jesus how to live by them in a fallen world. War is an example. Many Christians have read the Sermon on the Mount and become pacifists, inspired by Jesus’ teaching on non violence Other Christians have considered the whole teaching of the Bible and decided that there are times when violence must be met by violence as a necessary evil to prevent a greater evil. But war is still evil; you only have to meet someone who has been in battle to know that. We need to see divorce in the same way, sometimes, sadly, it is necessary; always it is evil as anyone who has been involved in will tell you, if they are honest.

1 Marriage is God’s best plan for a man and a woman together 2 Divorce should be treated like war, sometimes necessary, always evil 3 Singleness is honoured by God as a sign of his kingdom The disciples, perhaps troubled as we are with the challenge of Jesus’s teaching, make a flippant response. ‘if this is the situation between husband and wife, it is better not to marry.’ That was flippant because the single state at that time was unusual and frowned upon. To be a eunuch, to be physically incapable of marriage was to be a second class person, to be denied the priesthood in the Old Testament. And to have chosen not to marry, as Jesus himself had, was unusual. Jesus here sees the single state as a gift from God, not one that can be accepted by everyone. It is not an easy gift, it can be a struggle, it can be lonely it can mean misunderstanding and yet a single person may achieve things which married people simply do not have time or opportunity for.

It has been well said regarding marriage and singleness there are two models i.e. Adam, for whom God saw that it was not good for him to be alone so he created Eve and blessed marriage and Jesus Christ, ‘the second Adam’ who assures by the example of his own single life that there can be completeness even in what the rest of the world regards as incomplete and lacking.

Let us pray for God’s practical blessing in whatever state we are as he planned for most of humanity in marriage as is given to some in order to advance his kingdom and even as Christ meets people in broken situations and brings restoration

Think of someone you know (yourself or another) who is wondering about getting married O God in a world where so many just want their own way may they know what you desire and have strength to do it

Think of someone you know (yourself or another) who is married Lord may we appreciate more deeply all your blessings and more cheerfully cope with tensions and increasingly be models of your covenant love.

Think of someone you know (yourself or another) who is no longer married through bereavement or marriage break down Healing Lord, deal gently with those in pain; perhaps they are angry with you, or with another person. Help them to deal with that anger; let it not turn to bitterness.

Think of someone you know (yourself or another) who is single and likely to remain so. Grant dear father a deep sense of your wholeness and strong supporting friendships that they and others shall see their lives as not blighted but blessed

The peace of God which passes all understanding shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.