Continuous Matching / Norma Jeane

Continuous Matching is one of the four types of matching between the individual’s initial genetic biases/ strengths and problems/ challenges provided by organizations (and teams within them) which is essential to elaborating them into Key Characteristics over the course of 20+ years of development.

This matching process is just as essential to those characteristics associated with personality and self as it is to those related to intelligence. This can be illustrated with a brief account of the development of one of Norma Jeane’s key characteristics, one which was essential to her eventual creation of Marilyn, ie her perfect self doubt.

As will soon be evident the problems which Norma Jeane had to take on over the course of her childhood and adolescence weren’t of her own choosing, they came with the ‘families’, the ever changing families, she was a part of. And just like piano or tennis lessons, the years she spent taking on, and ‘solving’, the interpersonal problems posed by these organizations and the teams within them, served to continuously develop her perfect self doubt, that key characteristic which ever drove her to find a new self, a new identity -- the one which she eventually found in Hollywood with the creation of Marilyn.

First off, with regard to the development of a person's sense of 'self', it's worth noting that two basics are essential to the innumerable potential elaborations of 'self' which may occur during the course of development, i.e., you matter and you have influence.

You matter - now, next week, next year. You are loved and hated. You are connected to people who care and will continue to care about you, people who define themselves in term of you. You are not a pet rock.

You have influence. You can affect the world around you, in small ways, in bigger ways. Your hopes and feelings, your thoughts and plans and actions count. You make choices and act on them. You cause things to happen, important things. You are not a dish cloth.

No so for Norma Jeane. Practically from day one she grew up in a world where as Marilyn later put it, everyone "lied about everything from soup to Santa Claus" - in a world which continually denied her self - a world which continually claimed that she mattered, but acted as if she didn't; a world which continually denied her influence over anything of consequence.

Recall a few highlights of Norma Jeane's childhood, her experience of growing up, day after day, after week, after year. Her experience of discovering over and over that when it came to what really counts, she didn't matter, she had no influence. Remember Ida? Ida Bolender. Norma Jeane's caretaker for her first 7 1/2 years. Ida was always there. Day after day doing her diapers, her meals; sewing up her blouses, marching her off to Sunday school. Ida was always there, but she was 'Not her mother'. And Albert Wayne, Ida's husband who was forever answering Norma Jeane's questions about God and where He lived, and all the people in the world. Albert Wayne who had to be her daddy. Had to be, but wasn't. And the red haired woman. The woman who seldom spoke, who used to take her to the beach sometimes, who didn't come much anymore. The red haired woman she "was told to call mother".

And Jesus. maybe Jesus, The Jesus she could sing to anytime, any place - in the church, in the crowded cafeteria, on the roller coaster ride to the beach - the Jesus who loved her, who would always love her. Jesus, high up over the altar. And Tippy. Tippy with his warm body and pattering feet. Tippy who followed her to school and waited at recess..Tippy, that little tuff of fur who worshipped her. Tippy… blown away in the night. And that smiling man. The man in the slouch hat. That gentle man with the thin moustache. The man the red haired woman said was her father. Who had to be her father. The man Norma Jeane "dreamed of a thousand times afterwards". That man in the photograph on the mantle.

Then suddenly Ida and Albert Wayne are gone... continues in Arrival

...And there's Gladys shrieking, laughing, stalking the hall. Her mother's "insane" but "nothing's wrong". Aunt Grace'll take care of her. Aunt Grace'll "fix things up". Aunt Grace and the Griffens, and Emma Willette over on Lodi Place, and Doc and Nora. Or maybe the "cousins" out in Compton. Or the LA Orphan's Home. But, "Not to worry", there's always Fred and Ginger dancing, singing, cheek to cheek; the Pantages and Grauman's Chinese, and sitting all day and half the night. And there's "cousin" Jack and his frisky little wank; and Aunt Grace poppin in, five pairs of shoes and a brand new hat. And there's highlights and peroxide and lavender rinse and twirls. "Now, Norma Jeane, show your mother your little curls".

Days and weeks and years. Not really mattering to anyone. Having no influence over anything of consequence in her life. Days and weeks and years - a continuous experience of developing a perfect self doubt.

The information and quotes above re Norma Jeane’s development come mostly from Spoto, 1993; Guiles, 1992; and Rollyson, 1986.

Re the centrality of the person ‘mattering’ and ‘having influence’ to the development of ‘self’, see for eg, Kegan, 1982. (there is a long section considering relevant academic research in Arrival)

In addition to the above account of Continuous Matching and the development of Norma Jeane’s perfect self doubt, Arrival gives many other examples of this process in relation to Norma Jeane/Marilyn as well as, eg, Guthrie, Hitchcock, Mozart, Einstein, Michael Jordan,. Bill Gates, Louis Armstrong, and others.

References cited above are available in Arrival. see Sources.