Ways of Building Self Esteem

Ø Develop goals for yourself

Ø Be honest with yourself – set realistic targets

Ø Know yourself – Identify your strengths and build on them; sell your strengths

Ø Be open to new learning

Ø Develop learning skills

Ø Welcome challenges

Ø Put effort into overcoming challenges

Ø Learn from failures-How can I do it differently next time

Ø Forgive yourself and others- Do not be too hard on yourself

Ø Keep practicing

Ø Learn by doing – It is by writing that you learn to write, by solving mathematical problems that you solve mathematical problems

Ø Stand up for yourself in a way that will lead to the other person to respect you. Not allow others to dominate you

Ø Aim for best possible mental and physical health

“Dream creative dreams. Set high and worthwhile goals. Take the first decisive step towards your goal… Then.. take another step, and another until the goal is reached. .. No matter what it takes , persist.” Norman Vincent Peale

“It’s amazing how the harder I work and the more I practice, the luckier I get” Gary Player, golfer

“Recognizing strengths and compensating for weaknesses represent the first step in achieving positive self regard…..The second element is to keep working on and developing one’s talents” Bennis and Nanus

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Avoid (In General)

Telling yourself you not up to it

Seeing failures/mistakes as confirming that you are no good

Blaming the system or someone else

Examining your Goals and Values

Self-esteem comes from having what you value, and from getting from life (home, friends, job, course) what is of value to you.

1. List the things that you have achieved that give you pride? Why do these things give you satisfaction?

2. Here are some things that may have value to you. List them in order of priority.

Competence, Having control over things, Personal growth (learning new skills), Serving a cause, Being recognized for your achievements, Making a difference, Family, Friends, People, Risk taking, money, Power, Guiding others, Doing things (being active), Being creative, Other…,------

Be sure to add others that are important to you.

1. What are the 4 most important items?

2. How can you develop the areas of importance to you?

Intelligence

People have different views on how this equation balances

IQ = %effort + %ability

Many kinds of intelligence exist e.g. Linguistic (good at languages, Musical, logical/mathematical, artistic (good at visualizing and creating images), bodily (sports ability), Interpersonal (good with people).

Ø Know yourself – Identify your strengths and build on them.

Personality traits

Rate yourself on each of these traits

Extraverted --------------------- ---Introverted,

Agreeable ----------------------- --Tough-minded

Confident --------------------------Worrier

Conventional --------------------- Un conventional

Conscientious ---------------------Free Spirit

1. What are the advantages and disadvantages of each trait?

2. Write down how you can make the most of the advantages and minimize the disadvantages.

GENERAL EXERCISE

When one person looked into the pond he saw mud. The other person saw the reflection of the stars and though of the glory of the heavens.

Become conscious of times when you and others indulge in negative thinking.

Could the events have been viewed in positive ways?

Become conscious of times when you and others indulge in positive thinking.

Motto: “What can I learn from this?”