Stewie Griffin is a one year-old baby with a single goal: Total World
domination. He has the voice and manner of an evil Rex Harrison, but he's only
recently celebrated the one year anniversary of his escape from his mother's
"cursed ovarian Bastile," in which he was incarcerated for nine gruelling
months. Stewie has vowed to defeat his mother's matriarchal tyranny and topple
the "gynocracy" she rules.
Just because Lois has narrowly escaped several attempts on her life thus far
(from a box of chocolates filled with active grenades to a barrage of arrows
shot straight for her head) doesn't mean she's in the clear yet, Stewie might
begrudge Lois a modicum of respect for being the worthy adversary she is, but
don't be fooled. One day her uppance shall come!
In fact, if it were not for his lack of muscle tone, tiolet training, and
his need for parental'y provided sustenance, Stewie would have already gained
control over most of the third world, including Canada. Until his dominion over
all mankind comes to fruitation, anyone or anything that interferes with his
grand plan shall be destroyed. And if he can create a machine that controls the
weather, what makes you think he won't be able to control you, hmmm?
Brian Griffin is more than just the family dog. He is a gentleman and a
scholar, and undeniably the most eloquent member of Griffin household. Brian is
the first person Peter will turn to in times of crisis. But the sarcastic barbs
that Brian doles out can be as dry as his martinis.
Yes, Brian has been known to toss back a few. Some say it's to kill the pain
that comes with the social stigma of being a dog.
Others say it's to help him forget the time before he met peter, when he was
a homless stray who cleaned windshields for handouts. But brian will tell you
it's just good for his coat.
Drinking and throwing out witty bon mots aren't the only things Brian is
good at. If you ask him to speak, don't be surprised if he responds in flawless
french. He's also got an amazing voice. He can sing all four parts of a barber
shop quartet simultaneously.
In short, Brian might be the family dog, but don't tell him that. Did we
mention that Brian also holds a third-degree green belt in Taekwondo? And in
seven more years he'll be a black belt. That's one more year to you and me.
Peter is a big, boisterous, lovable oaf who isn't afraid to say what's on
his freakin' mind; usually the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time. He lives
in Quahog, Rhode Island with his wife lois, and their three children--Chris,
Meg, and Stewie--and his well-spoken best friend, Brian, the family dog. Peter
would do anything for his family, as long as it doesn't get in the way of his TV
time.
Peter works as a product safety inspector at the Happy-Go-Lucky Toy Company.
He has dreams of being more than a grunt on the assembly line and frequently
comes up with new toy designs, most recently "Mr. Zucchini Head", a
phallic-shaped, vibrating vegetable doll. Luckily for him, his flamboyant boss,
Mr. Weed, regards Peter as "eye candy" and overlooks his lack of efficiency and
productivity.
What Peter lacks in common sence and good judgement, he makes up for in
enthusiasm. He often goes overboard when he latches onto an idea. Wether he's
leading an improvisation scene during a bank robbery or running barefoot in the
rain with William Shatner, Peter Griffen is always looking for fun.
Lois is a modern-day housewife who finds time to cook, clean, run errands,
teach piano, and avoid daily attempts on her life by her baby son, Stewie. Of
course, a mother's love runs deep. So deep in this case, that Lois is blind to
Stewie's matricidal intentsions, attributing his perpetualt foul mood to plain
old crankiness.
Born in uppercrust Newport, Rhode Island, the one time heiress to the
Pewterschmidt family estate, gave up the privileged life to be with the towel
boy she fell in love with. She hasn't looked back since.
No matter how many times Peter falls down (in some cases due to too many
Pawtucket Patriot beers), Lois is right there to pick him up again. Lois is
generally the voice of reason that Peter can't hear until it's too late.
However, even Lois has been known to temporarily leave her senses. In fact,
rumor has it she's put on bold and seductive piano performances right in the
family's basement.
Honey, I'm doing the dishes
Oh well a thousand pardons for disrupting your sanitation ritual but u see i'm in searing pain
Chris Griffin is an overgrown, sweet-hearted thirteen year-old who looks
imposing, but wouldn't hurt a fly. Unless it landed on his hot dog, his favorite
food. In that case, Chris would probably treat the fly as a condiment.
Being a somewhat gulible lad, Chris often falls prey to his older sister's
tormenting. It's not uncommon for Chris to believe the most far-fetched tales
his sister feeds him. Still, Chris loves his big sister, which is probably why
he continues to seek her advice with his problems. Chris idolizes Peter and
works hard not to disappoint him. It's a good thing for Chris that his father's
expectations are so low. Still, Chris does have some hidden talents, especially
his ability to draw. He should probably spend more time cultivating his skill
and less time with Peter in front of the boob tube, looking for boobs.
Sixteen year-old Meg Griffin lives a difficult life. Just ask her. From
having thin lips to being unpopular, Meg is constantly struggling for acceptance
by the "in" crowd, or any crowd for that matter.
A bit of a drama queen, Meg pines for her hunky new neighbor, Kyle.
Unfortunately, not even collagen lip injections, a clingy new dress, or an
eleven-hundred dollar Prada bag seem to get her any closer to first base.
