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Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn't have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves...for growing up. You start out life with a clean slate. Then you begin to make your mark. You face decisions, make choices. You keep moving forward. But sooner or later there comes a time where you look back over where you have been... and wonder who you really are.
I guess things never turn out exactly the way you planned. I know they didn't with me. Still like my dad used to say, "traffic's traffic; you go where life takes you." I remember a time, a place, a particular fourth of July, the things I saw in that decade of war and change. I remember how it was growing up among people and places I loved. Most of all I remember how it was to leave.
I walked for a long time. Didn't have a destination, just a lot on my mind: heartbreak, loss, betrayal... Most of all one thought kept coming back to me. Again and again like an old song.
Once upon a time there was a girl I knew, who lived across the street. Brown hair, brown eyes. When she smiled, I smiled. When she cried, I cried. Every single thing that ever happened to me that mattered, in some way had to do with her. That day Winnie and I promised each other that no matter what, that we'd always be together. It was a promise full of passion and truth and wisdom. It was the kind of promise that can only come from the hearts of the very young.
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