Data from Star Trek makes me glad to be a man who loves computers - because:
1. He talks exactly how a computer would talk.
2. He can plug into a computer and access its contents using the USB/Firewire port in the back of his skull.
3. He jerks his head like a spastic when he accesses information from his database. I emulate this when I am accessing information from my memory banks (brains). Emulate is one of my favourite words.
4. He has a database for a brain.
5. He says things like "Incorrect Geordie, as true fossilisation would take several millennia" and "My programming was not designed to process these sensations". Hilarious, yet factual.
6. He has a switch on his back so he can be turned off, like a computer.
7. He doesn't have any fealings, just like a Linux server.
8. He looks exactly like a human, except that he has a strange pigment to his skin.
9. Data could be upgraded just like a computer, by changin parts. You could upgrade his processor for example.
10. You could plug peripherals into him, like a keyboard and mouse, using the USB ports in the back of his skull. You could of course plug in a Binary Keyboard©. Being fluent in Binary and having superfast ROBOTIC CYBORG HANDS would mean that Data would make an excellent Binary Typist©, with or without DigiStix©. Data's cyborg hands are so fast that USB2 or Firewire would be essential.
11. You could speak in Binary to Data and he would understand and be able to reply in Binary.
12. Data has an emotion chip, which can be attached to his Motherboard if he feals like having fealings. For example, he would need his emotion chip in order to masturbate.
13. Data CAN have sex, this is a quote from Star Trek First Contact (1996): "If... you're referring to sexuality, I'm fully functional. Programmed in multiple techniques". We can only assume that Data has been programmed in both Heterosexual and Homosexual techniques, in case he had to have sex with a man as part of a life saving mission, as he did in Episode 412: Gay Naked Klingons Attack DS9 and Episode 414: Worf Takes Cock.
14. All this means that Data is in fact Gay, or at least Bisexual. A Bi/Gay computer, beautiful.
I met Data at a Star Trek convention a few years ago. He was a charming person, and even though I was dressed as a Klingon, he did not hold any prejudices against me (Data fucking hates Klingons). I recorded what Data said to me, using my tricorder. Here is what he said (NB Note that Data also pronouces the word Internet with out the T, like INNERNET). I honestly wish he that he would have accepted my offer to go back to my house to check out my Star Trek Room (incorporating my Data Corner). Note: Brent Spiner (the person who plays Data) is fluent in Klingon, but not Binary (although Data in Star Trek is fluent in Binary).
<a>MODEM</a> says: If I could plug into a computer using a USB port that was surgically attached to my skull, I would be the happiest man alive....sorry...the happiest CYBORG alive!!! I would then attach peripherals to my body, such as CD-ROM drives, so I could access millions of bits of information, and install applications (into my brain) while on the move.
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© <a>MODEM</a> and BaTtLeBoT