By Edna McCabe

Part 3 - Buying the Ring

One weekend he told me he hadn't had a drink for a whole year. He was so pleased with himself. The next weekend we went into the city together. He never liked Dublin but loved going along by the quays and looking at the river Liffey and the antique shops along the way. This time we strolled down Henry Street looking at the shops. We stopped at a shop named McCabe's. Martin noticed the name and pulled me over to the shop window. It was a jewellers shop, always a man of few words he said, "That's a good name and it's time I bought you a ring"! I was in the shop before I knew where I was. Martin got a great kick out of it all. He had it all planned, and so we were engaged! Right there in Henry Street. We hugged and kissed, oblivious of everyone around us and we made a commitment (again) to love each other forever.

Martin really talked that day in Dublin. He told me about his struggle to stop drinking and how he considered himself to be an alcoholic. He told me how he felt it when I'd write and tell him how all my friends in Dublin were either engaged or married. His army friends used to refer to my letters as "the news". When Martin went home to Mullingar he heard the same family news all over again.

At this time my brother Matt was flying around Dublin with a different girl every other week. He used to walk up O'Connell Street with a bouquet of flowers for some girl. (He was so unlike Martin who used to pick bouquets for me on his country walks.) Matt would walk into a big store to buy ladies underwear or perfume for the girls. He was a terrible flirt. One girl told me she wouldn't have him even if there was no other man!

Anyway Martin told me he was now on the right track. That was in 1946 and we both agreed to spend our last Christmas that year with our respective parents and get married on New Year's Day 1947. We went home to tell my mother. She couldn't have been happier. Later when I told her about Martin's drinking problem she said, "Nonsense, he couldn't be in the army and get to company sergeant if he drank that much." Wise woman.

True to his word Martin sailed through Christmas without a drink, and he did go to the pub with his father and seven brothers. It was so different from the previous Christmas. He was on duty for Christmas and during some time off he and some of the lads went up town to celebrate the festive season. Martin bought five beautiful boxed Christmas cards with "To my love", "My sweetheart", "The one I love", "My darling" and "All my love forever" written on them. They were all done up with ribbons and bows and he sent them to my mother, Grace, Matt, Joe and myself! Luckily my name was on all of them. He was celebrating all right! We never let him forget it, but he always maintained that he bought them all for me, on five separate occasions.

He spent Christmas was with his parents and his seven brothers and four sisters. From all I heard they had a great time and they were all looking forward to New Year's Eve when they'd take the train to Dublin for our big day. One brother, Jimmy told me they were all so slow getting ready that Martin went off to the train station before them saying, "This is one train I'm not going to miss". However, they all made it and they had a great old time on the journey, Martin being the butt of their fun. We only had the two families at the wedding. I always regretted that we didn't invite my aunt Sara, after all we had met in her house. Some years later Martin and I asked her down to Athlone for a holiday. She was so pleased but sadly she died shortly after that. So we never got a chance to talk to her again and repay her for her kindness. But you can't turn back the clock.

Before we got married we had to go through all this procedure of getting letters of freedom, baptism lines, birth certificates, etc. Poor Martin had lived in a few parishes and had more paperwork to get through. (I think this has all changed now.) Anyway the funny side of it all was Martin discovered his birthday was on 1 September 1916 and not the 10 September as he had thought all his life. The biggest surprise for me was that he was not the same age as my brother Matt, but 4 years older. That made him six years older than me. I couldn't believe it, and he said, "You never asked me my age." Anyway the joke was on me and it went on for quite a while. He used to say, "Now she won't marry me because I'm too old", and "Now I'll have to wait for her to grow up." I got my own back by saying I was marrying a bachelor. You see Martin was very fair so he didn't have to shave as often as other men of his age. This meant he always looked younger than his years. Even my mother and brothers were surprised when they found out his age. In any event I was 24 and Martin was 30 when we got married.

Before our marriage Martin had managed to get a small house for us in Longford. However, just a few weeks before we were married he and the whole battalion were transferred to Athlone. In a hurry Martin got a furnished flat for us in Athlone. He hated leaving Longford and giving up the key to his house as he had so many friends there.

On the eve of our marriage the Mullingar contingent arrived in Swanville Place; it was New Year's Eve. Imagine so many McCabes in our house, all in good form and ready for a celebration. We spent time eating and drinking and looking at the wedding presents, but really the Mullingar gang were looking for somewhere to go. Martin came up with the bright idea taking them across the city to Christ Church, to hear the bells at midnight. This is always quite an occasion in Dublin and as usual the city was packed. They had a great night and they ended up in the hotel they had been booked into for the night. He was taking no chances of "not getting to the Church on time". I wasn't with them, as I wanted to pack because we were getting married at 7 am on New Year's Day! I always remember Kathleen McCabe staying back to keep me company. She was (and still is) a very nice girl.

New Year's Day 1947 was a very cold, frosty day. I was up at 6 am, and didn't feel a bit of it. The church was packed because 1 January was a holy day and there was no evening Mass. I don't know what time the McCabes got up at because they were all there with Martin.

He looked so different in his lovely grey suit and so serious. I wore a pale blue suit and a specially made hat. It was a dark shade of blue with pale blue tulle and a lovely ostrich feather. (I remember the excitement when I went off to be measured for my hat.) Grace, my bridesmaid, was in a beautiful navy blue suit. She looked every bit a bride herself. Pat McCabe was best man. The wedding cake was made by Johnston, Mooney and O'Brien, who were the number one cake makers at the time. The ceremony was beautiful and as usual it included all those lovely words, words like, "To have and to hold from this day forward". How could anyone forget them? Then there were the words, "With this gold and silver I thee wed", and with that Martin put the ring on my finger. It was the most wonderful moment of my life. The silver was a five-shilling piece with our names and the date engraved on it. Martin didn't wear a ring; he said the girl was the one to have the ring. We were now man and wife. As Martin's mother couldn't make the wedding I kept my bouquet to give to her, instead of throwing it in the traditional way. The photographer took three photographs, but the black and white film of the time didn't do justice to the occasion.

The wedding breakfast, as it was called in those days, was held in the Grovernor Hotel, Westland Row. This was right opposite the station, which was the terminal for trains to the west of Ireland at the time. This meant that we only had to cross the road to get our train to Sligo where we were going on our honeymoon. Everything was splendid at the breakfast and of course there were speeches and more speeches.

I remember there were very many bottles of alcohol on the table, as the bar was not open at such an early hour. The idea was that you could pick a bottle of your choice. If bottles were not opened you didn't have to pay for them. However, when the meal was over Jimmy McCabe (well on the booze by this time) stood up and went around the table and opened all the bottles that were left. Everyone had had enough by this time but Jim went round saying, "No good leaving those bottles there". But as it happened they were left there, but unfortunately they had been opened. In any event Martin and I paid for everything between us. My mother couldn't really afford to help any further; she had already helped so very much with my clothes and she had bought all sorts of household things, such as bedclothes, for the bottom drawer.

After the breakfast we all made for the station. We got a great send off. The crowd had written, "newly married", with lipstick on the carriage window. There was confetti everywhere. No one could mistake the bride and groom. We could still hear the cheers as the train drew off. Our carriage was "reserved for two", so we had it all to ourselves. We were going to the Imperial Hotel in Sligo for our honeymoon, stopping off in Mullingar to see Martin's mother. She was so happy as she hadn't been expecting us, and the fact that I kept my wedding bouquet for her was a bonus. She kept the flowers alive for weeks and even pressed some of the leaves.

Martin and I had a gift for each other. He gave me a lovely gold locket with my name on it and the date, and I gave him a silver cigarette lighter. My brother Matt had the locket in our house for weeks and I never knew. Nick McCabe and his wife Mai and three children lived in Sligo. So Nick met us to take us for a meal and visit the family. To our complete surprise Mai would not hear of us going to any hotel. Nick, who was supposed to have booked us in hadn't bothered his head. They had both decided we were staying with them. She showed us our bedroom, all done up, and I knew by Martin that he'd love it, so we stayed with them. I remember when we opened our cases they were packed with confetti. It went everywhere and I was just picturing how our hotel room in Dublin must have looked. The gang back at the Grovernor Hotel had got at our luggage. All our clothes had got the works.

We consummated our marriage in that little bedroom in Mai's. Two people who had loved each other for such a long time, it was an act of total commitment. Martin was the most gentle and kind person a young naïve girl could have hoped to be with. I decided marriage was going to be wonderful. It may sound unbelievable that the bond of love between two people could be so great. No matter where we went Martin's eyes would find mine "across a crowded room"; be it at parties, weddings or army functions. He was my "forever friend". We only stayed in Sligo one week and we spent the time going for walks, to the cinema or out to Strand Hill to the sea.

We were anxious to get to Athlone and to settle into the flat. During our stay in Sligo I discovered that Martin had in fact been born there and that his family had moved to Mullingar when he was four. He could remember the whole family moving. The family didn't like having to the change town but as time went by Mullingar became "home". I remember one day looking at "fairy stories" with the children and then Mai started off to tell a story of her own. She said, "When Edna was a little girl she went on holidays to Mullingar and while she was there she met a little boy named Martin. When they grew up they got married and they lived happily ever after." To add to the story I told the child, little John, that Martin was a prince in shining armour and that he was going to carry me away to his castle on a white horse. I was as ever a dreamer but I came down to earth with a bump when the child asked, "Where is the castle?" I could only reply, "It's a lovely castle on the banks of the big river in Athlone". I don't know for how long the children believed the story but it was a memory to leave them with.

Before we left Sligo we took the children to buy them presents and of course we bought something for Nick and Mai who had so kindly welcomed us into their home. In later years Nick and Mai had to live through sad times. Their little girl Olive died when she was just seven from a mysterious virus and John was killed when he was out shooting. He was on his own when his gun went off. These were terrible tragedies for such a lovely, happy family. However, Nick and Mai still had their two lovely daughters, Kay and Mai. Everyone admired them for their courage and for carrying on so well. When the girls were reared there was more sadness for Nick, Mai herself became ill and passed on. Nick struggled for some years but it wasn't the same and he too passed on. May they rest in peace.

After Sligo we set off for to our "castle" in Athlone, a town where we knew no one. We had to go up one flight of stairs to get to our flat, which was above Kelly's shop in High Street. The river Shannon and the real Athlone Castle were nearby and Custume Barracks, where Martin was stationed, was within walking distance. I remember on our first Monday in High Street I went shopping dressed in my lovely going-away outfit. I had my new shopping basket and I spent all our money. The next day I told Martin we needed meat and other items and he said, "Whatever's in the basket will have to do us until pay day on Friday." Then he looked in the basket and saw that it contained mostly rubbish and he said, "Oh boys, oh boys where did I get you". It was at this time that we started a budget.