Classic Homer Simpson Quotes
Oh, yeah, what are you gonna
do? Release the dogs? Or the
bees? Or the dogs with bees in
their mouth and when they bark,
they shoot bees at you?
To start press any key. Where's
Son, when you participate in
sporting events, it's not whether
you win or lose... it's how drunk
Oww, they have the internet on
Kids, you tried your best and you
The lesson is, never try.
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant
wife and a troubled child, but
somehow I managed to fit in eight
hours of TV a day.
Theres only one beer left and
Homer: Are you saying you're
never going to eat any animal
Homer: What about bacon?
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the
Homer: Heh heh heh... ooh...
yeah... right, Lisa. A wonderful... magical animal.
Homer: But every time I learn
something new, it pushes out
something old! Remember that
time I took a home wine-making
course and forgot how to drive?
Marge: That's because you were
Oh, Lisa, you and your stories:
Bart's a vampire, beer kills brain
cells. Now let's go back to that...
building...thingie... where our
beds and TV... is.
Operator! Give me the number for
Big brother representative: Now,
Mr. Simpson, may I ask why
Homer's brain: Don't say revenge.
Don't say revenge.
Homer: Ummm... revenge?
Homer's brain: Okay, that's it. I'm
(step step step step step...slam)
Homer: Okay, brain. You don't like
me, and I don't like you, but let's
get through this thing and then I
can continue killing you with beer.
Homer's Brain: It's a deal!
Homer: Bart, a woman is like a
beer. They look good, they smell
good, and you'd step over your
own mother just to get one!
Getting out of jury duty is easy.
The trick is to say you're
prejudiced against all races.
Homer's brain: Use reverse
Homer: Oh, that sounds too
Homer's brain: Okay, don't use
Homer:Okay, I will!
That dog has a puffy tail!
"You never know when an old
calendar might come in handy!
Sure, it's not 1985 right now, but
who knows what tomorrow will
(Homer praying): Dear Lord, the gods
have been good to me. As an
offering, I present these milk and
cookies. If you wish me to eat
them instead, please give me no
sign whatsoever... thy bidding will
be done (munch munch munch).
What's the point of going out?
We're just going to wind up back
"Kids, if he (Grandpa) starts
acting weird, lead him down into
When Lisa is reading the list of
things Homer wants his group to
Lisa : "... World domination???!!!"
Homer : "Oops! That must be a
Brain to Homer : "Mental note --
the girl knows too much."
If you have anymore and you want to have them viewed by all, do e-mail them to email@example.com!