A Memo to all Students
Memo to all students:
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
from students, it will be our policy to keep all students well taught
through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T.).
We are trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you
feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the course, please
see your lecturer. You will be immediately placed at the top of the
S.H.I.T. list, and our lecturers are especially skilled at seeing that you
get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Students who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to
EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our lecturers took
S.H.I.T. before they graduated, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore,and
are all full of S.H.I.T. already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job teaching
others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST
(B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).
For students who are intending to pursue a career in management and
consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL
RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course emphasizes how to
manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.
If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING,
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).
Thank you,
BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)
Sincerely,
The Director Under the Michigan Bureau of Super High Intensity Teaching.
(The D.U.M.B. S.H.I.T.)
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