A primary school class where sitting down as the teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home. She said "...And so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of straw and said 'Pardon me sir, but might I have some of that straw to build my house with?'" Then the teacher asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?". A young boy raised his hand and said "I know! I know!, he said.....'Holy smokes! A talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.


Another primary school teacher was teaching religion and was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" A second later, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."


An honest seven-year-old girl admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class. "How did that happen?" gasped her mother. "It wasn't easy," she said, "but three girls helped me catch him."


The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'" A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher; she's dead."


A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood around the body. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face.". "Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause yer feet ain't empty."


For weeks, a six-year old boy kept telling his first-class teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event. The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?" Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"


An infant school teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without a pause, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, "They will in a minute."


Not primary school related but, one day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while, and then said, "So mum, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"


Again, nothin' to do with primary school, but a three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother that there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens. "How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom."

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