This part of this module takes you into the brains of the two opposing sides at the core of the Northern Question (which is, of course "Would you like me to kill you now...or after tea?").

As you will see, it involves the same kind of 'u-turning' shown by Bosun Murphy/Mrs Callaghan - the key difference is that given verbal assurances change very little in relation to events. What is important is the mindset of the speaker.

WHEN A UNIONIST SAYS:
"THIS PARTY REMAINS COMMITTED TO PEACE"

THEY ARE THINKING:
"A peace under the warm glow of Empire. Majesty we love you and will one day reclaim this island of Ireland in your honoured name, that you can return to the days of yore and hunt serfs in Louth as once did your illustrious namesake Elizabeth I"


WHEN A REPUBLICAN SAYS:
"THIS PARTY REMAINS COMMITTED TO PEACE"

THEY ARE THINKING:
"Tiocfaidh Ar Lá (our day will come), my balaclava wearing children of the night. Soon we will all run barefoot in the rolling fields of Eireann, paying 48 percent in the pound as our taxes, as is our birthright, while living in crudely fashioned potato huts and attending huge hooleys where roads meet, just as Eamon DeValera and Padraig Pearse told us we should..."


WHEN A UNIONIST SAYS:
"THE IMPASSE HAS NOT BEEN CAUSED BY US"

THEY ARE THINKING:
"No! Never! Nay! No! And thrice nay! This peace process business was a bit of a lark to get the blood up when it was too cold to march. You weren't supposed to take it seriously ye Tadgh fools. If you think that we are going to let you repaint the red white and blue kerbstones on our housing estates you are delusional. Just you wait until we can get you inside a holding cell and we'll give you 'peace process' ye nasty traitorous wee bewbangs ye"


WHEN A REPUBLICAN SAYS:
"THE IMPASSE HAS NOT BEEN CAUSED BY US"

THEY ARE THINKING:
"...and the rivers in Eireann will run with sweet free water that spontaneously turns to the finest whiskey when you play it recordings of the Pope. There will be an English slave for every household when we rise, and Americans and people of learning will flock to us to learn how to wear hemp underpants and catch magic fish that give you wisdom. And the Queen will be forced onto the dole where she belongs"

If you have anymore and you want to have them viewed by all, do e-mail them to dkit@oceanfree.net!