There is a new virus going around, called "work." If you receive any sort of "work" at all, whether via email, Internet or simply handed to you by a colleague...DO NOT OPEN IT.

This has been circulating around our building for months and those who have been tempted to open "work" or even look at "work" have found that their social life is deleted and their brain ceases to function properly. If you do encounter "work" via e-mail or are faced with any "work" at all, then to purge the virus, send an e-mail to your boss with the words "I've had enough of your crap... I'm off to the pub". The "work" should automatically be forgotten by your brain.

If you receive "work" in paper-document form, simply lift the document and drag the "work" to your garbage can. Put on your hat and coat and skip to the nearest bar with two friends and order three pints of beer (or good scotch). After repeating this action 14 times, you will find that "work" will no longer be of any relevance to you and that "Top Cat" was the greatest cartoon ever. Send this message to everyone in your address book. If you do NOT have anyone in your address book, then I'm afraid the "work" virus has already corrupted your life.

If you have anymore and you want to have them viewed by all, do e-mail them to dkit@oceanfree.net!