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The Cruise - with Jason Dee
Monday thru Thursday we drive Dublin home and wrap up your
workday with loads of brand new music first, entertainment
news, features, text-in agendas, and lots more besides.
Organised chaos can and SHOULD be expected.
Email of the week
We'll
bring you a funny email from my Inbox that catches my eye
every week.
If you've and good ones drop me a line.
Signs you've been in Cork too
long...
| 1. |
You say "I'm
Grand, like" all the time. |
| 2. |
You think Murphy's
is 'savage' |
| 3. |
You think of
Murphy's as if it is the sixth food group. |
| 4. |
You disagreed with
2. - Murphy's is the FIRST food group and call anyone a
'Langer' if they claim to the contrary. |
| 5. |
You say "Are you
Grand?" all the time. |
| 6. |
You say "Tis
grand, like?" all the time. |
| 7. |
You say "That'd be
grand, like" all the time. |
| 8. |
You take 4 hours
to get home on a Saturday night and think nothing of it.
|
| 9. |
You don't eat
anything cold, uncooked or not resembling meat, bread or
potatoes. |
| 10. |
You say "Your man"
followed by 'boiy' all the time. |
| 11. |
You say "Your
woman" followed by 'boiy' all the time. |
| 12. |
You say "Tis grand
that your man asked if I'm grand, like, boiy" all the
time. |
| 13. |
You find yourself
still living with family and having dinners cooked for
you by someone's mammy - at Number 30. |
| 14. |
You talk about
'dinners' and 'mammys'. |
Signs you've been in Dublin too
long...
| 1. |
You say 'taeun'
when you mean the city |
| 2. |
You think it is
perfectly normal to pay over EUR4 for a pint. |
| 3. |
Anyone not from
Dublin is a 'wanker'. |
| 4. |
Anyone from north
of the Liffey is a 'Northside wanker'. |
| 5. |
You have no idea
where Ballydehob is. |
| 6. |
You see a member
of Westlife on Grafton Street and find it hard to get
excited about it. |
| 7. |
The countryside
makes you nervous. |
| 8. |
Somebody speaks to
you on the DART and you freak out thinking they are a
stalker. |
| 9. |
American tourists
no longer annoy you. |
| 10. |
You can't remember
the last time you got up to 30mph in your car in
"taeun." |
Signs you've been in Limerick too
long...
| 1. |
You have an
uncontrolable urge to steal. |
| 2. |
You keep going on
about how great Limerick and Garryowen are. |
| 3. |
To you, organised
crime is putting petrol in the getaway car. |
| 4. |
You start to cry
when you hear 'Beautiful Munsters'. |
| 5. |
You think anyone
from Limerick has a great sense of humour. |
| 6. |
You think
everyone's heard of Barry Foley |
| 7. |
You think
Dubliners are 'soft east coast ashy pets'...until they
kick your head in at rugby. |
| 8. |
You deny that it
rains all the time...as you struggle home with the
shopping in yet another torrential downpour.
|
Signs you've been in Monaghan too
long...
| 1. |
You say 'Sir' all
the time ("Howsa goan thur Sir"). |
| 2. |
You say 'shite'
all the time. |
| 3. |
You say 'aye' all
the time. |
| 4. |
You end sentences
with 'Hiagh' i.e. "I'm no goan' thur, Hiagh, it's
shite". |
| 5. |
You think McArdles
Ale is great, ignoring the fact it 'tastes of shite
Hiagh' |
| 6. |
You get an urge to
punch everybody you meet. |
| 7. |
You punch
everybody you meet. |
| 8. |
You get drunk
before, after and during punching everybody you meet.
|
| 9. |
You are
incomprehensible when you speak while trying to punch
everyone you meet. |
| 10. |
People seem to be
scared of you when you say where you are from. |
| 11. |
You automatically
get the urge to kill on hearing the words 'Monarachy' or
'England'. |
Signs you've been in Galway too
long...
| 1. |
You say "Howsa'
goin" all the time. |
| 2. |
You can't remember
a weekend when a friend from Dublin or Cork wasn't
sleeping on your couch. |
| 3. |
When you meet
someone on a Tuesday afternoon you tell them you haven't
been out in ages then remember that you were chatting to
that same person last night in the Quays. |
| 4. |
You agree with all
taxi drivers on all subjects - why bother gettin thick.
|
| 5. |
Unless the taxi
driver is from Mayo. |
| 6. |
Unless, like half
the population living in Galway, you're from Mayo. |
| 7. |
When you say you
live in Galway, people immediately smile and tell you
about their wild weekend in Salthill when they were 16.
You nod enthusiastically about the same venue, despite
the fact that you were never there. |
| 8. |
You think that
it's perfectly normal to have 6 buskers (including an
Ethopian bagpipe player), eight street entertainers, 19
Romanian beggers, a krusty holding some bailing twine
tied to a raggedy dog telling fortunes and 4 separate
roadworks all on the one street. |
Signs you've been in Cork too
long...
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