Planning Humour

Index:

The Complete Planner Humour Collection

Planning Jokes

How to identify a Planner
Guidelines for successful Planners Planners Staff Structure
Planning Explained to the Uninitiated Planners Jargon Explained

Planning Complaint form

The Planning Administrator
Planner Harassment What Planners mean when they say . . .
Planning implications of Earth's creation and Hell The PLAN
What is a Planner - there are two views! The Rules of Planning

The O'Byrne Files Universal Planning complaints form:

PLANNING  COMPLAINT FORM #61253-ABCD-748-A-B

Please circle the appropriate entries

Chairman/Madame Chair, Members of the Planning Committee, Chief Planning Officer:
Hello, I'm
[your name] of the [local place name] [a]______________[b]________________
More than one a or b possible)

___a___

___b___

Farm / Rural area
Club
River
Woodland /Highlands
Mountains / Uplands
Lake / Seaside
Water-front
Estate
Park
Road / Street
Valley
Block
Village
Town / City
Association
Coalition
Committee
Community
[name] District
Neighbourhood
Organisation

Our chief concern is the proposed __________.

Child/Adult Entertainment
Communications Tower
Off-licence / Take-away
School / Church
Factory / Office
Apartments
Home for __________
Homeless Shelter
Social Housing
Halting site
Day Care Centre
Senior Citizen Centre
Shopping Centre
Youth Centre
Treatment Centre

I have a petition here from the __________ of the [above group].

Members
Residents
"Friends"
Customers
Home/Property Owners
Enthusiasts
Concerned Citizens
Concerned Parents
Concerned Voters

And while we sympathise with the need for such facilities, we feel our area is not the place for it because of __________.

Aesthetics
Child/Senior Safety
Cultural Resources
Endangered Species
Fire/Flood/Earthquake
Noise/Glare/Air Pollution
Open Space/Steep Slopes
Traffic/Parking
Wetlands/Desert

In addition, we really hate __________.

Bad Roads
Beer & Stronger drink
Construction / Noise / Dust
Local Authorities
Taxes
People not like us
Children/Old People
Minorities
Poor/Rich People
Bureaucrats
Renters
People like us
Pedestrians
Estate Agents
Developers
Politicians
Planners
Solicitors or Lawyers

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and finally, did you know
Carelessly planned projects take three times longer to complete  than expected. Carefully planned projects take four times longer to complete than expected, mostly because the planners expect their planning to reduce the time it takes.

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Copyright 2000 N. O'Byrne