Planning Humour


The Complete Planner Humour Collection

Planning Jokes

How to identify a Planner
Guidelines for successful Planners Planners Staff Structure
Planning Explained to the Uninitiated Planners Jargon Explained

Planning Complaint form

The Planning Administrator
Planner Harassment What Planners mean when they say . . .
Planning implications of Earth's creation and Hell The PLAN
What is a Planner - there are two views! The Rules of Planning

Planners Jargon Explained (Based on 'Plannereese' from the IES-APA website at - soon to be published with some UK slang!)

Build Absolutely Nothing Anytime Near Anything

Locally Unwanted Land Use

Negative Traffic Impact:
Traffic jam.

Any collection of hitherto unacquainted individuals with physically proximate homes who find themselves suddenly united in vigorous opposition to unpalatable change, especially a rezoning, development, or road. (See "Nimbyism", "LULU", and "Community")

Nobody ever tells me anything.

New Settlements:
Places built especially to keep planners in a job.

DANYs = Developers Against NIMBYs.
GOOMBY = Get Out Of My Back Yard. 
KIIMBY = Keep It In My Back Yard. 
NIABY = Not in Anyone's Back Yard
NIMBY = Not In My Back Yard
NIMC = Not In My Constituency
NIMEY = Not In My Election Year.
NIMFYE = Not In My Front Yard Either.
NIMTOO = Not In My Term Of Office. 
NUMBY = Not Under My Back Yard (aims to keep some nasty underground feature out of the neighbourhood)
PIITBY = Put it in their back yard.

Nine Circles of Hell (from Dante's Inferno)
Circle One: Limbo - Good projects that died in bad places.
Circle Two: Technical Torture - When legislative interpretations confront good sense.
Circle Three: Inherited Sins - Old approvals implemented today.
Circle Four: Unmet Expectations - Projects that meet standards, but community tastes have changed.
Circle Five: Neighbour vs. Neighbour (I) - Conflicts between legal, conforming uses.
Circle Six: Neighbour vs. Neighbour (II) - Conflicts caused by illegal uses.
Circle Seven: More Than One Master - Inter-Departmental projects.
Circle Eight: Mobile Homes - (enough said!).
Circle Nine: Potential Chaos - Ballot box planning in extremis. 

Not on Planners Earth.

"We’ll have None of That" Syndrome. (See "Nimbyism")

Number Cooking (Number Massaging) 
Manipulation of statistics for a specific goal of 'cookbook planning'. Conversion of "raw" data. (See "number crunching")

Number Crunching 
Statistical cuisine-art processing prior to "number cooking."

Politicians Against Planners or Planners Against Planners

Strategic Lawsuits Against Planners

World Against Planning

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and finally, did you know

Carelessly planned projects take three times longer to complete  than expected. Carefully planned projects take four times longer to complete than expected, mostly because the planners expect their planning to reduce the time it takes.

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