In this section you can find answers to some of the questions that are asked most frequently. Below is a list of categories. Just click on the category and it will take you to a series of questions for that category. We are currently organising and adding more questions.If you cannot find an answer to your question on this page or elsewhere on the site then email us and we will respond to you.

CONTRACEPTION

PUBERTY

QUESTIONS ABOUT SEX

RELATIONSHIPS

SAFER SEX

SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTIONS

SEXUALITY

UNPLANNED PREGNANCY

Where do I go to get the Pill?
You can get the Pill from Family planning clinics, Nurses, and most GPs. If you feel uncomfortable about visiting your own GP you can choose to see somebody else. You can find more information on the Pill and other forms of contraception in the Sexual Health section of this website.

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What side effects are there from taking the pill?
When you first start the pill you may experience temporary side effects. These can include:
" Headaches
" Changes In body weight
" Breast tenderness
" Bleeding between periods
" Mood changes
" Increase in blood pressure
If these symptoms persist you should speak to your GP about changing the type of pill you use. You can find more information about the pill and other forms of contraception in the Sexual Health section of this website.

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If I forget to take the pill what do I do?
Being even 12 hours late taking your birth control pill may increase your chance of getting pregnant. If you miss any of the first 21 pills in your pack you need to use an alternate birth control method such as a condom for the next 7 days.

Should you forget to take a birth control pill during the third week of your pack, finish all the oral contraceptives in your pack, skip the non hormonal pills and start a new pack.

Remember if you forget to take your pill at any stage you should use a form of barrier contraception such as a condom as well as taking the pill for at least seven days.

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Is the Morning After Pill totally effective?
The Morning After Pill or Emergency contraception must be taken within 72 hours (3 days) after sex. This form of contraception is more effective if it is taken as soon as possible. For more information on the morning after pill and other forms of contraception see the Sexual Health section of this website.

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Can you become infertile if you take the 'morning after pill' more than three times?
The 'Morning After Pill' should only be used in an emergency. If it is being taken 3 or more times, you should look at your sexual practices and look for alternative contraception. You are taking a large dose of synthetic hormone into your system and just like any medication, you have to be cautious and protect your body.

But there is no evidence that the morning pill can make you infertile. And remember, just because someone takes the morning after pill, it does not mean that they were pregnant. The morning after pill is taken as a precaution, just to make sure that the egg and sperm do not get together. If the female has released an egg and the guy has had intercourse with her without using a condom and no other form of contraception has been used, then there is a risk of pregnancy.

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If I pull out before I ejaculate can my girlfriend still get pregnant?
Before ejaculation, the penis can release fluid containing sperm (pre-cum). There can be hundreds of thousands of sperm on the man's penis before ejaculation. Any one of these sperm could result in a pregnancy. It is for this reason that pulling out before ejaculation isn't recommended as a form of birth control.

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What changes will my body go through during puberty?
Both males and females will experience similar changes when they hit puberty. During puberty you can expect to get taller. You can also expect hair to develop under arms, on legs, and in your genital area. Its just the males that get facial hair and chest hair. The growth of hair on the back can occur in females as well as males. Both genders can get acne as a result of the surge of hormones in your bodies, which is also the cause of the mood changes that are sometimes experienced. Body odour is another one of the fabulous things to look forward to! Therefore daily showers and the 'Lynx Effect' are worthwhile if you don't want to put people off. Both males and females will start to have sexual feelings for other people.

In some ways it's a great time of change and development, in others its a nightmare. Females can find starting their periods quite difficult to get used to and manage. For something that happens to all women, there still seems to be a stigma attached to getting your period, as if it is somehow dirty or something to be embarrassed about. This very natural process of becoming a woman can be a problem. The media have tried to improve the image of periods, by sticking models on roller skates with 'Its My Life' blaring in the background. I don't know about you, but the last thing most females want to do when they've got periods is to go out on roller skates!

The other thing that often isn't discussed is vaginal discharge, which all women get at different times. Vaginas are self-cleaning, which is handy, the vagina has a natural lubricant which keeps it healthy and clean all on its own. The discharge is normally clear or slightly milky and may be faintly yellow when it dries on your knickers. When you are sexually aroused your vagina gets wetter, to make love making easier and around the time of ovulation to help sperm swim up your vagina (if you are sexually active). However, if you notice that the discharge smells different from what is normal for you, there could be an infection which is easily treated, but you will need to go to your Doctor.

One of the ways of preventing urine infections is to drink a glass of cranberry juice every day. This prevents the urine infections that many women can get.

For males, when your voice breaks it can be a bit embarrasing. Your voice can sound a bit odd to your own ears and can make some guys feel self-conscious. It doesn't last for long so hang in there!

Wet dreams are another male only ordeal. Waking up with a stiffy and wet sheets and your Mother calling you down for cornflakes. The thing is, with all the increased production of sperm, it has to go somewhere, and the body responds by ejaculating the excess sperm while you sleep. This is something you have absolutely no control over and is perfectly normal. Again, just know that this will pass.

Uncontrollable erections! You are not alone, it happens to all men at some stage, when you're on the bus or at a time when you least expect it. Really, trying to keep your mind off it is the only option. This is something else that will pass with time, embarrassing though it may be.

Just one more thing to mention. Males do not have self-cleaning dicks, so it is important for them to gently clean under their foreskins (no dick brush necessary), unless you are circumcised - which would mean that you had your foreskin surgically removed. Foreskin removal is done for either cultural, social, or medical reasons.

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What size is normal?
We get asked this question all the time, especially from males. What a lot of males don't know is that puberty and body changes can go on until they are in their late teens. Don't worry about penis size, as long as it works and you don't have any physical problems, learn to accept what you have. We are all different shapes and sizes, we're not clones thank goodness!

For females, it's similar with breast size. There is so much media attention regarding breasts e.g. celebrities getting breast implants. It can be hard for females who are developing breasts, especially when one often develops faster than the other, which can make females feel really self-conscious. But they catch up with each other in time, although it is normal for one to be slightly bigger than the other.

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What is the legal age for having sex in Ireland?
Most people don't know this, but the legal age for having sex in Ireland is 17 years for males and females. This can make it difficult for young people to access services if they are having sex, especially if they want this information to remain confidential.

The most important thing is to look for support. If you feel that you can't confide in your parents, you can phone our helpline or use the interactive chat helpline on this site. If you have a good relationship with your G.P. (family doctor), you may be able to speak to him/her and they will give you the support and guidance that you need.

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What age do people usually have sex?
This question is asked all the time. It shows the pressure that young adults are under to have sex by a certain age. Good sex is about communication between two loving people and that can only happen when you and your partner are ready. Forget about age and think about your individual needs and the needs of your partner. If you do this you are more likely to have sex because you're ready and not because you think you should. Some things are worth waiting for. Honest!

A research study in the UK found that almost 80% of sexually active young women under the age of 16 years in the UK regretted having had sex at a young age and said that it wasn't a very pleasurable experience! And the same went for sexually active young men, over 60% said the same thing.

What is Anal Sex?
Anal sex is when the man puts his penis into the back passage (anus) of his partner. Anal sex is often highly risky sex and if you are having anal sex it is very important to use a good quality condom and lubricant. Anal sex should not be used as a means of preventing pregnancy. If you have unprotected anal sex then the semen in the anus could easily slip out and make its way to the vagina. Again it is important that you are comfortable with what you do and you never feel pressurised into doing things that you are not happy about.

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What is the G Spot?
The G spot is a place in the woman's vagina which is very sensitive to pressure. It can be felt through the front wall of the vagina. It is located about 5 centimetres from the entrance. Men do not have a G spot but the prostate gland is sometimes referred to as the Male G Spot. The prostate gland is located in the area between the testicles and the anus. The prostate gland can be stimulated by inserting a lubricated finger in the anus and gently massaging the prostate gland.

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What if you too much to drink and you can't remember what happened?
This happens more often than you'd think. We live in a drink culture, where drinking too much alcohol is a national past time. Females are generally more sensitive to the effects of alcohol, which means that they can get drunk quite quickly, but both males and females can then end up in situations that they wouldn't normally find themselves in. Your ability to make rational decisions is hugely affected and it is usually during these times that people find that they've picked up STIs or females can find themselves pregnant.

It feels bad enough when people have meaningless sex, but to not remember it is very upsetting and you should try to make sure that it doesn't happen to you. If you are completely out of it on drink or drugs there is also a possibility that people may take advantage of you. There is a thin line between consenting to having sex with someone else, and them taking advantage of you. If this should happen to you or someone you know, it is really important to get support.

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What is the best way to give a blow job?
The secret to this is to ASK. Everyone is different and likes things done in different ways. You also have to make sure that you are comfortable with whatever you are doing.

A blow job involves placing a penis in a person's mouth and sucking (not blowing). The female equivalent is called cunnilingus, which is the licking and sucking of a female's genitals. You do NOT have to give or recieve genital stimulation with the mouth. Some people don't like to do this, they feel uncomfortable and can't relax. If you feel this way DON'T do it. Other people thoroughly enjoy this act so be true to yourself and do what you like doing.

You have to remember that if you engage in oral sex with someone and you don't know their sexual history (if they've had other sexual partners and not used condoms) there is a risk of catching an STI. Flavoured condoms are good for oral sex and can protect against STIs.

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When should I start a sexual relationship?
The most important thing about starting a sexual relationship is that you are the one who makes that choice. Entering into a sexual relationship is a big choice and can have some serious consequences. It is important to know that sex is supposed to be fun and rushing into it for the wrong reasons can lead to a sexual encounter that you would rather forget.

You don't have to go the full way to have fun. People, young and old seem to have this image that sex is all about penetration and forget that it can be a fun loving act. Kissing, touching, and caressing are incredibly pleasurable and can actually take the pressure off people thinking that they have to have 'full blown sex'.

Abstinence (not having penetrative sex), seems to have become a dirty word. But when you think about it, it is the only 100% guaranteed way of preventing pregnancy and STIs. You can have relationships without having sexual intercourse. What makes it difficult to choose abstinence, are things like peer pressure, the media (TV, movies, and magazines), friends, partners, and your own feelings.

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What is Safer Sex?
Safer sex means taking precautions to prevent pregnancy and getting STIs. The most effective way is abstinence, but if you are going to have sex and feel that you are physically and emotionally ready, then get to know your partner well. This may influence whether you want to have sex or not, but will also reduce the risk of regrets in the future.

Always tell your partner if you think you have an infection, even Thrush (which is not an STI) as it can be passed between partners.

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What are boys attitudes to condoms and STIs?
All boys are individuals and it's best not to generalise about anyone. All we can say, is that the responses that we have had from boys in the schools and youth groups we have visited in Cork and Kerry were generally positive. Boys thought that condoms were a good thing, as long as the girl was completely ready emotionally and physically to have sex. We were told by a number of young people that girls were often called names like 'Slags' and 'Sluts' by other girls if they had sex. This is quite shocking when you think about it.

It was the same with girls carrying condoms. For the most part they thought that carrying a condom was a cool, responsible thing to do, but that other girls would judge them for carrying them.

If a male refuses to wear a condom, what does this tell you? It could mean that they are unsure how to put a condom on, because people are rarely taught or shown how to put a condom on, or it could be that they are too embarrassed to put a condom on in front of a female. All of these issues have to be considered. But at the end of the day, if a condom isn't used and there is no other form of contraception being used, you could end up pregnant or with an STI, or both!

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Is It ok for me to say no?
It is always Ok to say no. This applies not just to sex, but to drinking alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. Young people are under huge pressure on the one hand to be fearless, rebellious and to try anything, but on the other to be responsible and mature and above all to be 'good'. It's a tough time, all you can do is what you think is right, so listen to yourself.

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What are Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) and how do you get them?
STIs are infections that you can get if you have sex with someone, and don't use a condom. Often people don't know that they have an STI as you can have one and not know about it. There can often be no symptoms. The most common symptoms are an unusual or unpleasant discharge from your vagina, penis, or anus (back passage), pain or burning when peeing, unusual pain during sexual intercourse, bleeding between periods, pain and swelling in the groin area and/or balls (testicles), irritation, rashes, sore patches, or lumps around the genitals or anus.

Sexually transmitted infections are on the increase among young people in Ireland.

It is important to know that many infections can be treated, so get tested if you have had unprotected sex (sex without a condom) and make sure.

It is possible to get an STI the first time you have sex, so just be clear in your own mind what you want and then stick to your guns. You can get more information on STIs by clicking here to go to the Sexual Health page which contains detailed information on STIs.

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Would I know if I had an STI?
The only sure way to know if you have an STI is to get tested at your local STI clinic. Many STIs do not have any symptoms but this does not mean that they aren't causing you any harm. If you have had unsafe sex it is best to go for a test. Many STIs can be quite easily treated but can severely damage your health if they are left untreated.

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Can you get an STI from Oral Sex?
Yes. Having unprotected oral sex can transmit Sexually Transmitted Infections. If you are having oral sex you should use a dental dam, condom, or another barrier form of contraception. By having unprotected oral sex you leave yourself open to infection. HIV, Herpes, Gonorrheoa, Hepatitis B, Syphillis, and Chylamydia can all be tranmitted through unprotected oral sex. You can find more information on Sexually Transmitted Infections in the Sexual Health section of this website.

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Where do you go if you think you might have an STI?
If you are underage and are able to confide in your parents, then that may be the best thing to do. Clinics may demand that the parents of people who are under the legal age of consent involve their parents before they will be treated. Most clinics have excellent teams of Doctors and Nurses who will look after you, so don't be embarrassed. It's much better to take the tests if you feel that you have put yourself at risk by having unprotected sex (sex without a condom), as most STIs can be cured with medication. If they are not treated, they can do you a lot of damage.

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Is it normal to get a discharge down below? Does it mean that I have an STI?
No, it does not necessarily mean that you have an STI. Vaginas are self cleaning, which means that it is normal for all women to have a discharge. This discharge changes throughout your monthly cycly, so it is important to know what is normal for you. If there is any change in the smell or colour of your discharge it is important to see your Doctor. There are infections that you can get which are not sexually transmitted but which may need treatment.

Males can get discharges too, which would normally indicate that there is an infection, so it is really important to get it checked out. If you don't then you could be worrying about something that just takes a course of antibiotics to cure.

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What is Sexuality?
Sexuality is about the way we express ourselves and it includes the need to love and be loved. It refers to all aspects of being sexual. It is a part of your basic identity and coming to terms with it can sometimes be a major part of your development.

Your sexual identity is often placed into a box; either heterosexual (straight), which means that you are attracted to the opposite sex, homosexual, which means that you are attracted to members of the same sex and bisexual, where there is an attraction to both sexes. Whoever you are attracted to, it's normal. The problem associated with being anything but 'straight' is that there is a tendency to put people in a box. We are all individuals, being true to your sexual orientation is what's important, if you are to live a happy and healthy life.

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HOW DO I TELL MY PARENTS THAT I MIGHT BE PREGNANT, HOW WILL THEY REACT?
Some parents cope very well and just want to support their daughter, even if they flip at the beginning. Others find it harder to accept and want to blame someone. It's a very difficult time for everyone. However, there is help and support for anyone who finds themselves in this position. Our organisation has trained counsellors to support females through this time, so if this does happen to you, or a friend, it is really important to look for help and support.

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What are my options if I get pregnant?
Click here to be taken to our crisis pregnancy page where you will find a list of options.