“I feel the capacity to care is the thing which gives life its deepest significance.”
Conductor Pablo Casals (1876-1973)
When A Carer Needs Caring
When you're a Carer, someone depends on you. There's a dependence on your time, your emotional support, your love, your strength, your health, and most of all, your presence. So what happens when, through accident or sudden illness, you're suddenly not there?
It's something we all need to think about, and prepare against. What if you've left your bedridden grandmother to step out for "just a moment" to the shops to get her some essentials, and during those few minutes were struck down by a car, or stroke? Witnesses will call for an ambulance, and hospital crews will do their best for you, but what of Granny? She's helpless and alone until you regain consciousness to alert someone, unless you have a backup plan.
That backup plan is essential for your peace of mind and your patient's safety and well-being: if you don't have one already, you should make one today.
Carry a wallet card or a wear a Medical-Alert bracelet or necklace, to alert emergency staff attending you that you are a Carer. The card or engraving should include a contact number of a close relative or neighbour, the illness or disability, and any other information that may be important.
Have a backup person - a relative or neighbour who can step in for you as Carer until you're well - and give them a written plan. Keep a copy at home. On it list any medications to be taken at what times, any special diet considerations, and other information that will make it easier for them to care for your loved one, reducing stress on both of them. All upcoming doctor and therapy appointments should be marked clearly and in detail on the family calendar.
Keep a mobile phone with you, keep it charged, and learn to use it. Immediately enter all important numbers into its memory. I resisted getting one for years, and now I feel like a fool for refusing one: it can be a lifesaver. Among the phone numbers you enter into it, include one named ICE, which should be recognised as In Case of Emergency, with your emergency contact numbers.
If you have a disabled child, work with them on an emergency plan. Make sure they know what to do in case you're separated from them away from home, or in case you're injured or suddenly ill. Teach them to dial emergency services by practicing on an unplugged phone, and bring in a friend or neighbour to role-play as an emergency worker to help you both practice. Your child should also have a Medical-Alert bracelet or necklace detailing the disability or illness, with an alternate contact number to yours, just in case; a more detailed card can be laminated to be kept in the child's pocket at all times. For very young children, it can be helpful to make a casual visit to the local Garda Station so that uniformed emergency personnel won't be so strange or frightening one day when they're needed.
If you find yourself incapacitated for any length of time, don't be shy about asking for help. Other family members may be legally entitled to Family Leave or Parental Leave, and you may qualify for Home Support, in which someone stops by for an hour or so each day to take care of light housekeeping or cooking a meal for you. Ask your Community Welfare Officer or check the Citizens Information website for more information about your entitlements, and take a look at our Resource List.
Talk to your family about contingencies. Having a plan thought through ahead of time reduces stress on everyone and prevents something important being overlooked because of stress.
...and speaking of stress, the best advice of all is, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! Be a Carer, but not a martyr. Research reveals that Carers are particularly susceptible to stress, depression, anxiety, fatigue, and even Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. While it may seem impossible to find the time or finances to care for ourselves properly, it's essential not only for your own welfare, but for the person you're caring for. They need you, and need you to be well.
Get enough sleep. Most people need eight hours of sleep each night or more. Not getting enough leaves you not only feeling fatigued, but with reduced concentration, shortened response times, and irritability--none of which will help you in your Caring role.
Eat healthy meals. Days can be overwhelming and too short for all that needs to be done, but stand your ground on eating well. Drink at least eight glasses of water a day, eat plenty of fruit and vegetables, and balance your diet to be sure you're getting enough of all essential nutrients.
Take what respite you can, whether a week or only an hour. Rest, both physical and emotional, is essential to staying well.
Exercise in whatever way you can manage - whether its a daily walk in the park with your kids or half-an-hour with an exercise video while your patient takes a nap. Besides being essential for a healthy heart, it's a terrific stress-buster.
After all, if you take care of yourself, you may never need the emergency tips above. But if you do, be prepared! Someone's depending on you to care for them... even when you can't be there.
