Ally McBeal- Fishisms











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"I tossed a jewel Fishism her way, and she just stared back with blanks."
  • "Whipper dumped me last night. I don't feel like smiling. If that troubles you, go stand on a railroad track and take a moment."

  • "Friction, friction, orgasm. Fishism."

  • "We miss you with every opportunity, Elaine. Kidding. Bygones. Go away."

  • "If you don't kiss a girl on the first date, you're a gentleman. If you don't kiss her on the second date, you're gay!"

  • "I couldn't help but overhear, probably because I was eavesdropping."

  • "Under that robe, besides a phenomenal body, is a good judge! Act like one!"

  • "Everyone is alone. It's just easier to take in a relationship."

  • "Problem is just a bleak word for a challenge."

  • "It's not winning, it's winning ugly that matters."

  • "We laugh together, we love together...why introduce the notion that it could all work out?"

  • Never trust second thoughts. Next thing you know there'll be a third and a fourth...you'll be thinking forever!"

  • Love, you can't bank on it..it's an unsafe bridge..the only thing you can bring to the bank..money.



  • Richard: "Let me tell you something, I didn't become a lawyer because I like the law, the law sucks. It's boring, but it can also be used as a weapon. You want to bankrupt somebody? Cost him everything he's worked for? Make his wife leave him, even make his kids cry..yeah, we can do that."
  • "Thank you, Elaine. Imagine my comfort having you as emotional counsel. Would that I dye my roots so I could truly benefit from your tutalege."

  • "Bygones."

  • A lot of his former students will be there. This will be like a class reunion, instead of a punch bowl, there's a coffin. But remember reunions are meant to allow the more successful graduates to inform the less successful that that's what they are: less than. You and I, we're more than. Especially me, me I have my own firm, I could possibly be the most. My point is life is about attitude. And tonight is a night for you to feel good about yourself.

  • Ally, glad you're here, new firm policy, listen up. Anybody who sues this firm, or me personally, we all drop whatever cases we are working on, and devote all our intellectual and creative efforts to ruining that person's life? Are we clear? I do not want to stop short with getting even, retribution, not strong enough: ruin. That's the goal. Irreversible, irreparable, irrational, ruin. New firm policy.

  • Here's the thing about them: Women as a rule hate pretty women, but women as a rule also sympathize with other women victims because they are women. Are you with me? It's like this: women want other women to be destroyed, but they don't want to be the actual destroyers themselves.



  • You know I had a great aunt who once said, "If you stare at a beautiful woman too long, you'd turn to stone." She was partially right.

  • Ally, one of the keys to life: the fast forward. Every movie has its lousy parts. The trick is to fast forward through them. As time passes, you look back and say oh, that little adultery thing, oh that. You fast forward to then right now, and you're over it.

  • "I'm nothing if not redundant! I also repeat myself."

    "Helping others is never more beneficial than when it's in your own self-interest."