Definitions depending on gender

THINGY (thing-ee) n.
  female: Any part under a car's bonnet.
  male:    The strap fastener yoke-e-mebob on lasses' bras.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
  female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
  male:    Playing hurling without a helmet.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
  female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
  male:    Scribbling a quick note before suddenly taking off for a weekend in Amsterdam with the lads.

ARSE (ars) n.
  female: The body part that every item of manufactured clothing always makes "look bigger."
  male:    what you slap when one of your lads has just scored a hat-trick. Also good for mooning and placing on the office photocopier.

COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
  female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
  male:    Not trying to pick up other lasses while out with one's girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
  female: A good film, concert, play or book.
  male:    Anything that can be done while having a pint at the same time.

REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
  female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
  male:    A device for scanning through all 68 channels on NTL's new whatsit package every three minutes.

This material is courtesy of my friends from Wasting time @ Work  

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