A Dictionary for Women
n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just
hasn't realised it yet.
n You did the shopping, washed the lettuce,
chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned
everything up, but he "made the dinner".
Blonde jokes (blond joks)
n. Jokes that are short, so men can understand them.
n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets
to hold your hand and say "focus... breath... push..."
Clothes drier (kloze dri*yer)
n. An appliance designed to eat socks.
n. The last two minutes of a soccer match.
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v
To walk the length and breadth of a shopping centre, occasionally resting to
make a purchase.
"Hair Dresser" (hare dres*er)
n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be
able to duplicate again. See "Magician."
"Hardware Store" (hard*war
stor) n Similar to a black hole in space - if he goes in, he
isn't coming out anytime soon.
n On your lips, colouring to enhance the beauty of your mouth.
On his collar, colouring only a slapper would wear...!
v./n. Before children, a verb meaning "to go
somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a
swing set and slide.
n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and
children. See also "tranquilisers."
"Shopping List" (grow*ser*ee
list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget
to take with you to the supermarket.
"Valentine's Day" (val*en*tinez
dae) n A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner,
diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.
(wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower,
or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
This material is courtesy of my friends from Wasting time
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