Buffy the Vampire Slayer- Quotes: Love & Dating

"I don't wanna come on too geeky but okay.....I'm psyched. There's gonna be some heat if you know what I mean, so you guys might wanna duck and cover. And I'm starting to be geeky" -- Xander

"How did U find me here?"
"If I was blind I'd see you" -- Buffy and Angel

"Stay with me"
"Forever, that's the point. I'll never leave- not even if you kill me" -- Buffy and Angel

"You wanna talk negative consequences? What about the heartbreak of halitosis? I mean a girl may seem spiffy, but if she ignores her flossing the bloom is definitely off the rose"
"Like that compares to kissing a guy who thinks the hoover technique is a big turn on"
"What about having to feign interest in her vapid little chitchats just so you can get some touch -- Xander and Cordy

"You know what, this would work a lot better for me if you didn't talk"
"Well, it would work a lot better for me with the lights off"
"Are U saying that you can't lok at me when we do..whatever it is we do?"
"No, it's not that I can't- it's more like I don't want to"
"All in all, this is not what I call a big self esteem booster"
"Tell me about it- Just look at you. And those clothes. Where did you ge those shoes?" -- Xander and Cordy

"Willow, grow up - not everything is about kissing"
"Yeah, some stuff's about groping" -- Buffy and Xander

"How will I know what to wear?"
"Do you own anyting else?"
"No- not as such- No"-- Giles and Ms. Calender

"Alright, I'll put myself in your hands"
"That sounds like fun"---Giles and Ms. Calender

"Well... When I'm with a boy I like it's hard for me to say anything cool, or witty, or at all. I - I can usually make a few vowel sounds. And then I have to go away..." -- Willow!!!!

"What does a girl have to do to impress you?"
"Well, it involves a feather boa, and the theme to "A Summer Place."" -- Devon and Oz!

"Who *is* that girl?" -- Oz!

"I've had it. Spike is going down. You can attack me, you can send assassins after me, that's fine. But nobody messes with my boyfriend." -- Buffy

"You're just impressed by any pretty girl who can walk and talk."
"She doesn't have to talk." -- Oz! and Devon

"People don't fall in love with what's right in front of them. People want the dream -- what they can't have. The more unattainable, the more attractive." -- Xander

"Simple deduction. Ms. Calendar is reasonably dollsome, especially for someone in your age bracket. She already knows that you're a school librarian, so you don't have to worry about how to break that embarrassing news to her."
"And she's the only woman we've actually ever seen speak to you. Add it up, it all spells "duh!"" -- Xander and Buffy

"You know, I never really thanked you."
"Oh, yeah, please don't. I don't do thanks. I get all red. Have to bail. It's not pretty." -- Willow and Oz!

"Well, you know, I have a choice. I can spend my life waiting for Xander to go out with every other girl in the world until he notices me. Or I can just get on with my life."
"Good for you."
"Well, I didn't choose yet." -- Willow and Buffy

"Now is it time to have a talk about the facts of life?"
"You know, I'm suddenly deciding this is none of your business."
"You know, 'cause that whole stork thing is a smoke screen!" -- Xander and Giles

"So, we're talking about a guy?"
"Not exactly a guy. For us to have a conversation about a guy, there'd have to be a guy for us to have a conversation about. Was that a sentence?" -- Willow and Buffy

"He's not in school, right? He looks older than her."
"You're not wrong." -- Ford and Xander discussing Angel

"You took a bath."
"Yeah, I often do. I'm actually known for it." -- Xander and Buffy

"I just get messed sometimes. I wish we could be regular kids."
"I'll never be a kid."
"All right, a regular kid and her cradle-robbing, creature-of-the-night boyfriend." -- Buffy and Angel

"You know, Buffy, Spring Fling just isn't any dance. It's a time for students to choose, um, a mate. And then we can observe their mating rituals, and tag them before they migrate... just kill me!" -- Xander

"I'm brainsick. I can't have a relationship with him!"
"Not during the day... but you could ask him for coffee some night. It's the non-relationship drink of choice. It's not a date, it's a caffeinated beverage. Okay, sure, it's hot and bitter, like a relationship that way, but..." -- Buffy and Willow

"How will I know what to wear?"
"Do you own anything else?"
"Well, not as such, no." -- Giles and Jenny

"I'm just gonna go home, lie down, and listen to country music. The music of pain." -- Xander

"Being called an idiot tends to take people out of the dating mood."
"It actually kind of turns me on."
"I fear you." -- Buffy and Xander

"How is Angel? Pretend I care."
"Getting better."
"And you're loving playing nursemaid?"
"Oh, yeah!"
"So, is it better than playing naughty stewardess?" -- Xander, Buffy and Willow

"You're not a praying mantis, are you? Sorry... someone else." -- Xander

"Please, I'm so over her! Did she, um, mention when she might be getting back? About which I do _not_ care!" -- Xander

"I'm a man, I have certain desires, certain needs."
"Ah, I don't want to know." -- Xander and Willow

"Cute guy. Teenager! Post-pubescent fantasies!" -- Buffy (It's a girl thing.)

"It is kind of novel how he'll stay young and handsome forever, although you'll still get wrinkly and die... and oh, what about the children? I'll be quiet now." -- Willow

"It's weird, though. In his way, I feel like he's still watching me."
"Well, in a way he sort of is...in the way of that he's right over there." -- Buffy and Willow

"I was brought up a proper lady. I wasn't meant to understand things. I'm just meant to look pretty, and then someone nice will marry me. Possibly a baron." -- Buffy

"When Buffy was a vampire, you weren't still, like, attracted to her, were you?"
"Willow, how can you...? I mean, that's really *bent*. She was... grotesque."
"Still dug her, huh?"
"I'm sick. I need help."
"Don't I know it." -- Willow and Xander

"So, you've been seeing a guy, but you don't know what he looks like. Okay, this is a puzzle. No, wait, I'm good at these. Does it involve a midget and a block of ice?" -- Buffy

"Apparently Buffy has decided the problem with the English language is all those pesky words. You. Angel. Big. Smoochies?"
"Shut. Up." -- Xander and Buffy

"Is Mr. I'm-the-lead-singer-I'm- so-great-I-don't-have-to-show-up-for-my-date-or-even-call going to be there?"
"Yeah. You know, he's just going by Devon now."
"Well, you can tell him that I don't care, and that I didn't even mention it, and that I didn't even see you, so that's just fine."
"So, what do I tell him?"
"Nothing. Geeze, get with the program!" -- Cordelia and Oz!

"Well, I'm not constantly monitoring his health, his moods, his blood pressure...
"130 over 80."
"You got it bad, girl!" -- Buffy and Willow

"But who am I kidding? Dates are things normal girls have. Girls who have time to think about nail polish and facials. You know what I think about? Ambush tactics. Beheading. Not exactly the stuff dreams are made of." -- Buffy

"The other night I dreamt that Xander... Uh, it wasn't Xander. In fact it wasn't me. In fact, it was a friend's dream, and she can't remember it." -- Willow

"I suppose some girls might find him good-looking. If they have eyes. Okay, he's a honey!" -- Buffy

"How many of us have lost countless productive hours plagued by unwanted sexual thoughts and feelings."
"Yes!"
"That was a rhetorical question, Mr. Harris, not a poll." -- Mr. Whitmore and Xander

"That's why you're so cool! You're like a guy! You're my guy friend that knows about girl stuff."
"Oh great. I'm a guy." -- Xander and Willow

"All's well that ends with cute E.R. doctors, I always say." -- Buffy

"You're not like other boys at all. You are totally and completely one of the girls!" -- Buffy to Xander

"That the Slayer?"
"Yep."
"Ain't that Angelus with her?"
"Yep."
"Well, how come she ain't slayin'? And how come he's about to make me blush?" -- Tector and Lyle

"Did anyone ever tell you you're kind of a fuddy duddy?"
"Nobody ever seems to tell me anything else."
"Did anyone ever tell you you're kind of a sexy fuddy duddy?"
"No, actually, that part usually gets left out. I can't imagine why." -- Jenny and Giles

"We're your bosom friends, the friends of your bosom." -- Xander (duh!)

"Testosterone is a great equalizer. It turns all men into morons." -- Giles

"Yes, she's lovely... in a common, extremely well-proportioned way." -- Giles

"Are we overlooking the possibility that she may be very attracted to me? ... She's possessed." -- Xander

"I fed on a girl your age. Beautiful. Dumb as a post." -- Angel