Buffy the Vampire Slayer- Quotes: Weird Stuff

"The elders conjured up the perfect punishment for me: they restored my soul."
"What, they were all out of boils and blinding torment?" -- Angel and Buffy

"You know. I just woke up and I looked in the mirror and thought-"Hey, what's with all the sin." I need to change. I'm dirty, I'm bad with the sex, and the envy, and the loud music us kids listen to nowadays. Oh, and I just suck at undercover ."-- Buffy

"I'm rash and impulsive- it's a flaw" -- Buffy

"There are cockroaches big enough in Mexico to own property" -- Cordy

"I'm trying to get to cute really, but I'm still sorta stuck on strange ."
"Well, I'd be willing to bargain down to eccentric with an option on cool" --Willow and Oz

"I'm gonna have a big bump."
"I'm gonna have a peninsula?--Buffy and Xander

"Why do I have to be bait? I'm always bait. Why can't Willow be bait?." -- Cordy

"I suppose there is a sort of Machiavellian ingenuity to your transgression."
"I resist that- or possibly thank you" -- Giles and Xander

"There were an uneven number of students and you didn't show so...."
"I'm a single mother?"
"No man of her own" -- Willow, Buffy and Xander

"It didn't break- how come it didn't break"
"Which is another secret to conscientious egg care. A pot of scalding water and about eight minutes"
"You boiled your young"
"Yeah- I know it sounds cruel, but sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind" -- Willow and Xander

"Can I just say gyeh."
"I see your gyeh and raise you a nyuhuh" -- Xander and Buffy

"Use the force Luke"--Willow

"You can grind out enemies into talcum powder with a sledge hammer but gosh we did that last night."--Xander

"Where's Buffy."
"She's working on her issues" -- Giles and Xander

"He's shot! Are you okay?"
"I, um, I'm shot, you know. Wow! It's odd. And painful." -- Willow and Oz!

"I was totally beachless for a month and a half. No one suffered like I suffered." -- Cordelia

"Where are your other clothes?"
"Oh, don't I wish I had the answer to that question?"
"Xander kind of found himself in front of our class not wearing much of anything."
"Except my underwear."
"Yeah, it was really... bad. It was a bad thing."
"Bad thing? I was naked. "Bad thing" doesn't cover it." -- Giles, Xander and Willow

"That's me favorite shirt. That's me only shirt!" -- Kendra

"Things involving the computer fill me with a childlike terror. Now, if it were a nice ogre or some such, I'd be more in my element." -- Giles

"I'm just saying there's something a little too clean about this clown."
"He's a clean clown! I... have my own fun." -- Buffy and Willow

"I swear on my mother's grave... should something fatal happen to her, God forbid." -- Willie

"Uh, Angel, if I say something you really don't want to hear, do you promise not to bite me?" -- Willow

"Don't warn the tadpoles!"
"Don't warn the tadpoles?"
"I... I have frog fear." -- Willow and Giles (it's a Forever Knight thing.)

"Things used to be pretty simple. A hundred years, just hanging out, feeling guilty. Really honed my brooding skills." -- Angel

"Excommunicated _and_ sent to Sunnydale. That's a guy big with the sinning." -- Buffy

"So you're saying these vampires went to all this hassle for a basic decoder ring?"
"Actually, yes, I suppose I am." -- Buffy and Giles

"I told one lie. I had one drink."
"Yes, and you were very nearly devoured by a giant demon snake. The words, "let that be a lesson" are a tad redundant at this juncture." -- Buffy and Giles

"You were looking at my neck."
"What?"
"You were checking out my neck, I saw that."
"No, I wasn't."
"Just keep your distance, pal."
"I wasn't looking at your neck."
"I told you to eat before we left." -- Xander and Angel

"It could be, "deprimere ille bubula linter."
"Debase the beef... canoe. //whap!// Why does that strike me as not right?" -- Dalton and Spike

"Are you noticing a theme here?"
"As in, "vampires, yay!"?"
"That's the one." -- Xander and Willow

"What are you doing?"
"Oh. Sorry. The reflection thing that you don't have... Angel, how do you shave?" -- Giles and Willow

"The bird's dead, Dru. You left it in a cage, and you didn't feed it, and now it's all dead, just like the last one." -- Spike

"My Uncle Rory was the stodgiest taxidermist you ever met - by day. By night it was booze, whores, and fur flying. Were there whores?"
"He was alone."
"Give it time." -- Xander and Buffy

"Why is this happening?"
"Billy."
"Well, that explanation was shorter than us ual. It's Billy! Who's Billy?" -- Willow, Giles and Xander