Buffy the Vampire Slayer- Giles

"A vampire in love with a slayer. It's rather poetic".

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Giles: How will I know what to wear?
Jenny: Do you own anything else?
Giles: Well, not as such, no.

Jenny: Did anyone ever tell you you're kind of a fuddy duddy?
Giles: Nobody ever seems to tell me anything else.
Jenny: Did anyone ever tell you you're kind of a sexy fuddy duddy?
Giles: No, actually, that part usually gets left out. I can't imagine why.

Giles: Testosterone is a great equalizer. It turns all men into morons.

Giles: Yes, she's lovely... in a common, extremely well-proportioned way.

Buffy: Have I ever let you down?
Giles: Do you want me to answer that, or shall I just glare?

Giles: It's devastating. He's turned into a sixteen-year-old boy. Of course you'll have to kill him.

Giles: I don't care what time it is, unlock his cell, unstrap him, and bring him to the phone!

Giles: Why should someone want to harm Cordelia?
Willow: Maybe because they met her? Did *I* say that?

Prin. Snyder: There are some things I can just smell. It's like a 6th sense.
Giles: Well, actually, that would be one of the five.

Buffy: Speak English, not whatever they speak in, um...
Giles: England?

Buffy: See, this is a school, and we have students, and they check out books, and then they learn things.
Giles: I was beginning to suspect that was a myth.

Willow: How is it you always know this stuff? You always know what's going on. I never know what's going on.
Giles: You weren't here from midnight until six researching it.
Willow: No, I was sleeping.

Giles: Let me be sure I have this right - this witch is casting horrible and disfiguring spells... so that she can become a *cheerleader*?

Buffy: Oh! I know this one: "Slaying entails certain sacrifices... blah blah bity blah. I'm so stuffy, give me a scone.
Giles: It's as if you know me.

Buffy: Vampires are creeps.
Giles: Yes, that's why one slays them

Giles: I've been indexing the Watcher diaries covering the last couple of centuries. You'd be amazed how numbingly pompous and long-winded some of these Watchers were.
Buffy: Color me stunned.

Xnader: How could you let her go?
Giles: As the soon-to-be purple area on my jaw will attest, I did not 'let' her go!

Giles: They made their reputation by massacring an entire Mexican village in 1886.
Buffy: Friendly little demons.
Giles: That was before they became vampires.

Giles: Grave robbery? That's new. Interesting.
Buffy: I know you meant to say gross and disturbing.
Giles: Yes, yes, yes, of course. Terrible thing. Must put a stop to it. Damn it.

Buffy: I put my best friends in mortal danger on the second day of school.
Giles: What are you going to do, crawl inside a cave for the rest of your life?
Buffy: Would it have cable?

Giles: That was hardly the worst mistake you'll ever make... That wasn't quite as comforting as it was meant to be

Giles: Buffy, when I said you could slay vampires, and have a social life, I didn't mean at the same time!

Giles: Things involving the computer fill me with a childlike terror. Now, if it were a nice ogre or some such, I'd be more in my element

Buffy: I told one lie. I had one drink.
Giles: Yes, and you were very nearly devoured by a giant demon snake. The words, "let that be a lesson" are a tad redundant at this juncture

In order.. to be worthy...you must perform the ritual... in a tutu. Pillock

Angel: Sorry to bother you
Giles: Sorry. Coming from you, that phrase stirkes me as rather funny. Sorry to bother me

Giles: Knowing why you are back would give you a piece of mind?
Angel: It might
Giles: You think that's something you ought to have? Because sir, to be blunt, the last time you became complacent about your existence turned out rather badly

Giles: All we know, the fate of the entire world rests on the....did you eat all the jellies?
Buffy: Did you want a jelly?
Giles: I always have a jelly. I'm the one that says let's have jelly in the mix
Willow: We're sorry- Buffy had 3

Cordy: I swear- one of these days you're gonna wake up in a coma
Giles: Wake up in a....nevermind

Giles: You have a sacred birthright, Buffy. You've been chosen to destroy vampires, notr to wave pom-poms at people

Giles: Alright- I'll put myself in your hands
Jenny: That sounds like fun

Buffy: It's just like the more I know, the more confused I get
Giles: I believe that's called growing-up
Buffy: Well I'd like to stop then okay?