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DAZED & CONFUSED
I like high school girls, I get older, but they stay the same age (paraphrased)
Well they don't want to hear anything, man. The girls, man, in our classes, they're all prudes, man. Worthless little prudes, man. Worthless little bitches, man.
George Washington was in a cult...and the cult was into aliens man. There is some freaky shit goin on on a dollar bill, man! and you wonder why dollar bills are green
I came here to do two things: drink some beer and kick some ass. Looks like we're almost out of beer.
Wipe that face off your head, Bit£h
(slater)-this place used to be off-limits because some drunk freshman fell off, man. He went right down the middle, smacking his head on every beam, man. I heard it doesn't hurt after the first couple though. Autopsy said he had one beer, how many did you have? (mitch)-four...
(slater) you're dead, man, you're so dead!
DEAD POETS' SOCIETY
#1: Why do we need language?
#2: To communicate...
#1: Nooo, to woo women!
Sucking the marrow out of life doesn't mean choking on the bone.
I always thought the point of education was to learn to think for yourself.
Phone call from God.......If it had been collect, now that would have been daring.
O Captain, My Captain. Who knows where that comes from? Anybody? Not a clue? It's from a poem by Walt Whitman about Mr Abrahan Lincoln.
No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.
We're not laughing at you - we're laughing near you.
This is a battle, a war & the casualties could be your souls.
Carpe dium--Seize the day.
No, Mr. Overstreet, it wasn't just GUYS. And we didn't just READ poetry, we let it drip from our tongues like honey.
Only in their dreams can men be truly free. 'Twas always thus, and always thus will be.
Today we're going to be talking about William Shakespeare. Yes, I know, most of you probably look forward to this about as much as you look forward to root canal work.
The answer, gentlemen, is that we are here, that life exists. That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?
You just signed your expulsion papers, Newanda
You're playing the part of the dutiful son.
DEVIL'S ADVOCATE
Vanity, definitely my favorite sin.
- John Milton/Satan
DIRTY HARRY
-[Harry]Aha! I know what your thinking... Did I fire six shots or only five? To tell you the truth, I forgot it myself in all this excitement. This here's a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and it can blow your head clean off. Now, you must ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do you, punk?
DIE HARD
It was the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except for the four a$$holes coming in the rear in standard 2 X 2 cover formation.
Ten million terrorists, and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister
1) You throw quite a party. I didn't realize they celebrated Christmas in Japan.
2) Hey, we're flexible. Pearl Harbor didn't work out so we got you with tape decks.
1) This time John Wayne does not walk off into the sunset with Grace Kelly.
2) That was Gary Cooper, a$$hole
DOGMA
Mention anything out of a Charlston Heston movie and everybody's a theology scholar
Organized religion destroys who we are or who we can be by inhibiting our actions and decisions out of fear of an intangible parent-figure who shakes a finger at us from thousands of years ago and says "No, no!"
Jay: Oh yeah. See, we used to sell smoke in front of this video store. And one day this fuck wants to rent a video. So we did, only we didn't have anyplace to watch it. So we went to the mall and popped it into a VCR at Macy's and sat on the floor and wat
J-Guys like us dont fall out of the sky! ( at this point chris rock falls out of the sky)J-Beautiful naked big tittied women don't just fall out of the sky!
Everytime the redhead hooks up with her dreamguy this man over here starts ballin like a bitch with a skinned knee.
What the f£ck is this - The Piano?
I'm Han! Your Chewie! She's Ben Kenobi and we're in that (explitive) bar!
You can't be anal retentive if you don't have an anus.
mass genocide is the most enduring activity that one can take part in, next to soccer.
Mr. Magee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like it if I'm angry.
DUMB AND DUMBER
senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel really can serve a purpose. don't you go dying on me!
we got no food, we got no job, our pets heads are falling off!
you sold my dead bird to a blind kid!
I desperately wanna make love to a schoolboy
What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me....ending up together? Straight out, flat out, i came a long way to see you and u mary and the least u can do is level with me.....
Not good....Not good like 1 out of 100....
More like 1 out of 1,000,000....
So you're tellin me theres a chance!! Yeah!! Husband?! What was all that one in a million talk?!
That's as good as money, sir. Those are I.O.U.'s.
Wait.... hold on... I think I have a...yep, yep, I have an idea.
#1 PULL OVER!!
#2 NO...it's a cardigan but thanks for noticing!!
That John Denver's full of $hit!
his head fell off. yeah he was pretty old.
We're going to a place where the beer flows like wine...a place called Aspen.
Yes...WE'VE LANDED ON THE MOON!!
Lloyd: Uh, Seabass? My friend Harry and I would like to buy you guys a round of beers just to bury the hatchet...
Seabass: Make it four Boilermakers...
Lloyd: Seabass offered to pick up our tab...
Waitress: Seabass said that?...
Lloyd: If that's Seabass over there...
Harry: That was great, how'd you think of that...
Lloyd: Saw it in a movie once, after that they catch up with him 'bout a half mile down the road and slit his throat...(speed up)...it was a good one.
Give it to me you pumpkin pie-hair cutted-freak
Just when I think you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this...AND TOTALLY REDEEM YOURSELF!!
Some philly break your heart?
B) No, it was a girl
Hey kidth, you wouldn happen to have a glath of warm water wouldja?
